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Pelosi plied undecided members with chocolate-covered Dove bars in a series of small group meetings.
That’s right — the entire future of America could hinge on some fat, pasty fence-sitter’s hankerin’ for a f*#@$*g ice cream bar! Ain’t politics grand?
Oh well… no time for fury about this. Get on the phone now and, if your Rep. is one of the “undecided” snakes, see Pelosi’s Dove bar and up the ante a half dozen Three Musketeers, a gallon of ice cream (specify Ben & Jerry’s if your Rep. is a lib), ten packages of Laffy Taffy and a Sara Lee cheesecake. Slaves to instant gratification are easily swayed.
Even more frightening, insiders tell me that Pelosi and Reid are only about three pizzas and a candy-gram short of securing enough votes to pass National Health Care.
Update: The scam passed 219-212. I guess a few people loved Pelosi’s Dove bars. The good news is that Crap & Raid has more of an uphill battle in the Senate.
Below is Rep. John Boehner responding to an absolutely reprehensible sleestak named Henry Waxman about how, once again, most members of the House didn’t have a chance to read the historically enormous bill they had to vote on, let alone time to peruse the last-minute 300-page amendment.
At the top of the clip, Waxman wonders aloud why Republicans seem hell-bent on wasting an historically large amount of time debating something as small as an historically large tax increase. What a putrid slug: