Jun

24

Don’t Cry For Sanford, Argentina — Weep for the GOP

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The economy has gotten so bad that even our politicians are out-sourcing their mistresses now. S. Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and former 2012 Republican presidential hopeful is either incredibly bad at being discreet, wanted to get caught, or lost his freakin’ mind. I’m guessing it’s a touch of “all of the above”: Sanford admits affair, [...]

Jun

24

Twitter-Bound

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Okay, I finally caved to a couple of requests that I get on Twitter. Unfortunately, because of my delay in signing up, pretty much any semblance of my name was already taken, so I went with the title of my column. I refuse to use the term “tweet” for anything I write, however. You can [...]

Jun

24

Obama to Throw Out First Pitch at All-Star Game, New Rules for Contest in Place

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President Obama will throw out the first pitch at the All-Star game in St. Louis on July 14th. Here’s a quick preview of what it’ll look like: By order (“decree” I think was the word they used) of the White House, a few rule changes will be in effect for the All-Star game. They include, [...]

Jun

24

First Lady Irked by Runt Teleprompters, Brilliantly Improvises Displeasure

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President Obama’s teleprompter (TOTUS) has children, known as TFLOTUS1 and TFLOTUS2, and the pair were promoted to the position of official teleprompters of the First Lady, but so far Michelle Obama isn’t happy with their height. Don’t tell Michelle, but I heard that the growth of TFLOTUS was stunted because when they were younger they [...]

Jun

23

Witnesses to Obama’s Birth, Come Forward and Get Cash!

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The “Obama’s birth certificate” flap just got potentially lucrative for somebody. Joseph Farah is offering $10,000 to anyone who can prove he or she was present at the birth of Barack Obama. There can’t be too many witnesses to Obama’s birth — there’s only so many people you can fit into a manger. I suspect [...]

Jun

23

Ed McMahon, RIP

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Johnny Carson died a few years ago, and today truly marks the end of a late-night era that will never return: Ed McMahon dies at 86 McMahon was also a Korean war veteran. Here’s one of my favorite Ed McMahon moments from the Tonight Show: Rest in peace, Ed.

Jun

23

Obama a Symbol of Hope in Iran?

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Obamamaniacs are pining for a way to credit the quest for free and fair elections in Iran to some kind of Barack-borne “hope” initiative, which is laughable because no world leader has been more encouraging to Iran’s ruling regime in his lack of response than the U.S. President. But that doesn’t matter. If there’s “hope” [...]

Jun

22

Ahmadinejad Doesn’t Want To Be Guy Who Got His Ass Kicked By Twitter

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Not much to laugh about in this situation, but somebody tried to find a way:

Jun

22

Plame-Out

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Liberal heads explode in 3… 2… 1…

Jun

22

The Lei After: Hawaii Reacts to N. Korea Nuke Threat

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North Korean psychorunt Kim Jong Il has threatened to launch a missile toward Hawaii, and it has some on the island a little uneasy. From the A.P.: Planned N. Korea launch unnerves Hawaii residents: Comforted by the U.S. military’s missile defense systems, Hawaii residents doubt a North Korean missile would light up the clear island [...]

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