Thank God CNN asked and answered one of the questions that had been consuming me ever since I heard about the death of Michael Jackson:

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Yes, that’s right, as soon as Jackson expired, a visibly upset CNN — as Congress votes to spend the U.S. into further oblivion, a war rages on overseas, Iran is in complete disarray and a mentally ill midget in North Korea threatens to shoot bottle rockets toward Hawaii — asked the obvious question: “Where is Bubbles?”

Don’t worry, CNN tracked down a no-doubt emotionally scarred Bubbles (there’s only so many cruel “Michael Jackson blowing Bubbles” jokes a chimp can be exposed to before losing his frickin’ mind), who is 26 now and probably doesn’t appreciate being reminded of his days in the Neverland circus.

As always, CNN was there:

There is journalistic precedent for this type of hard-hitting reporting, however, because after Tarzan died, Edward R. Murrow did a similar story about the King of the Jungle’s chimp:

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