G8 Leaders Agree to Control Global Temperature, Blow Up Earth Because it Obstructs View of Venus

I have to admit, creating a fear of naturally occurring phenomena like the weather and temperature in order to achieve power while providing a justification to steal both money and freedom is medieval, but conceptually brilliant.

Taking a page from Christopher Columbus and telling uneducated natives (and/or those who received a government education) during an eclipse, “Give us your trinkets and corn and we’ll bring the sun back,” the G8 participants are pretending they have any ability to control the temperature, and if we (and most importantly our wallets) follow them, we’ll be safe:

President Obama and other leaders backed historic new targets for tackling global warming last night in an agreement designed to pave the way for a world deal in the autumn.

For the first time, America and the other seven richest economies agreed to the goal of keeping the world’s average temperature from rising more than 2C (3.6F).

The sun and the axis tilt of the earth were not available for comment at press time. I for one don’t expect the sun to fully cooperate, but at the same time, never underestimate the power of bureaucratic fear-mongerers with unlimited access to your money.

I can’t believe they didn’t come up with an equally arbitrary number for in case the average temperature drops, because that’s what’s happening. An apparent oversight of this magnitude only means that it’s probably not an oversight, but simple fodder for the Copenhagen meeting later this year.

Bottom line: If the average temperature fluctuates at all, as it always does, we’re going to pay for it with money and freedom. “Global warming” is the ultimate fascist movement — and yet Al Gore has the gall to liken the “struggle against global warming” to the fight against the Nazis?

I might get fined for this, because this statement might cause the global temperature to rise, but I’d dare to say that the struggle against Al Gore’s manufactured movement is a lot more like the fight against the Nazis than the fight against man-made global warming. In the first place, the Nazis were actually proven to exist — but a minor detail like that will never stop Gore or the power and control-hungry G8 politicians.

The good news is that if Obama continues to get his wish list fulfilled, the U.S. will no longer be among the eight richest countries in the world so he won’t be invited back to agree to devastatingly arrogant schemes, the above being just one example. In 10 years, the wealthiest nation-sized object on the planet will be Al Gore.

Many months, or maybe over a year ago, I posted this famous George Carlin bit about the arrogance of the environmental movement, and it fits in today better than ever and is worth another look:

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.