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The National Enquirer has reported for some time now the existence of a tape featuring intimate moments between former Senator and vice presidential candidate John Edwards, and his mistress Rielle Hunter.

I managed to get my hands on two portions of the written transcript — they are shocking and graphic:

::begin transcript::

“Oh yeah baby, I like it right there.”

“You like that, eh? A little more? How about this?”

“Oh yeah… keep doing it like that… you’re the best trim I’ve ever had.”

“Want me to blow it?”

“You read my mind, baby…”

“Okay, where’s the hair dryer, John?”

::end transcript::

But then, something went wrong, and Edwards was finally caught cheating…

::begin transcript::

“Rielle, I think we should commit to something long-term…”

“You mean, permanent?”

“Mmm, hmm… unless you think it might look too curly.”

**phone rings**

“Hello? … This is Rielle, who’s this?”

“Who is it, baby?”

“It’s Pink Sapphire wondering where you are…?”

“Oh my God, hang up the phone!”

::end transcript::

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