Obama Pushes Job Sharing Bill to Lower Unemployment Rate

WASHINGTON, DC (PNN): President Obama has offered his support for a bill currently in committee in the House of Representatives that Congressional Democrats and the White House believe will dramatically lower, if not eliminate altogether, unemployment in the United States.

The Frank-Dicks Act (Barney Frank, D-Mass. and Norm Dicks, D-Wash.), if passed, would make job sharing a right of all Americans, with everyone free to participate on a mandatory basis.

Pessimistic House Republicans believe that the economy cannot support Frank-Dicks, especially the provision that states that a company must pay the same salary that one person is getting for a job to both people sharing the same task. “This is madness!” Said Rep. John Boehner, R-OH. “There isn’t enough money in the whole world to pay for this! Are they f*&#*#g crazy?”

But President Obama’s team believes Boehner’s rhetoric is nothing but partisan bickering that is not in the best interest of U.S. taxpayers.

“How can one not support full employment?” The President said during a Rose Garden press conference. “This proposed legislation is just what the American people have been waiting for. Think about it. If job-sharing is a mandatory right of all Americans, in our current structure, the unemployment rate can be as high as 50% and we will still sustain full employment. It’s a no-brainer!”

Congressional Budget Office projections show that, within five years, two private sector jobs will be lost for each government job created, so Obama’s math did pass the CBO’s litmus test.

When a Huffington Post reporter asked Obama how much Frank-Dicks would cost — as Obama mouthed the words as the reporter said them as if he knew what the question would be — President Obama was candid. “It will cost nothing. That’s right, nothing. Since Americans will be mandated to be free to work half as much, they’ll be driving to work half as much. The money they save on gas alone will pay for this “putting America back to work half as much” initiative. You’ve heard of ‘pay as you go’? You might call this ‘pay as you don’t go.”

Washington insiders expect Barney Frank and Norm Dicks to team up on more legislation in the future. “I’ve seen no more natural a pairing that Barney Frank with Dicks,” said one high-level staffer.

The staffer said the two Representatives are currently crafting a similar bill designed to lower the percentage of homelessness that is expected to rise due to ongoing implementation of the federal government’s economic recovery plans. “A mandatory right for Americans to share their home is definitely in its conceptual stages on Capitol Hill,” according to the staffer.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.