Global Warming Could Cause Tilt in Earth’s Axis, As Could Al Gore Slipping in the Shower

Run for your lives, but lean more in one direction when you do it! The world as you know it is about to be turned upside-down… literally:

Oceans warmed by the rise in greenhouse gas levels could cause the Earth’s axis to tilt, according to a new study by NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Researchers say the tilt would be significant enough to create a large shift in the distribution of the Earth’s mass, especially when combined with the tilt being caused by the melting of Greenland’s ice.

From New Scientist:

The researchers modelled the changes that would occur if moderate projections made by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change – a doubling of carbon dioxide levels between 2000 and 2100 – were to become reality.

The team found that as the oceans warm and expand, more water will be pushed up and onto the Earth’s shallower ocean shelves. Over the next century, the subtle effect is expected to cause the northern pole of Earth’s spin axis to shift by roughly 1.5 centimetres per year in the direction of Alaska and Hawaii.

Since jet propulsion is a major contributor to man-made global warming — according to the Gorebots — it seems like the first recommendation that NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory would come out with to help decrease the rise in man-made greenhouse gases would be to de-fund and eliminate NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. But the first priority of the “green” crowd is self-preservation, no matter how pollution-spewing their existence is.

As the eternal optimist, I look at it this way: At least the Leaning Tower of Pisa might finally be straight. That thing’s been driving me nuts for a long time.

So, here’s the earth now:


Here’s how the earth might look in 100 years if Al Gore doesn’t start losing weight and flying on private jets:


This doesn’t scare me at all. Michigan, where I am, would be at the equator if the earth flipped 45-degrees off-axis in the direction of Alaska and Hawaii. This would save me a fortune on having to buy a second winter home down south when I’m older, so the sooner it happens the better.

And if I’m wrong, we can all just jump up and down and knock the earth into a cooler orbit. No worries.

I’m off to fire up the gas-powered leaf blower now.


Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” video was the first to simulate how people will be standing when the earth tilts because of global warming and/or if Al Gore should slip and fall in the shower

Joe Biden Beats the Health Care Straw-Man Unrecognizable

Vice President Biden is now heading up the White House’s “Realty Check” push. That in and of itself is funny enough, but in a posting on the White House website, Biden begins his reality check by perpetuating an almost immediate myth: That those opposed to Obamacare think the current health system is just hunky-dory.

This point alone deserves a reality check. We don’t oppose Obamacare necessarily because the current system is a gem — but because a great deal of the reason the current system is screwed up is because of the same people who are trying to “reform” it now. Obamacare is a trial lawyer power-grab that will breed the reason health care is currently so expensive, not render it extinct — and that’s just one reason we oppose it.

Another reason we oppose Obamacare is not because the current system is grand, but because you “reformers” have done nothing but screwed up everything you’ve touched for the past several years, and the frequency and scope of the incompetence, idiocy, theft, Marxist leanings, lies and desperation is increasing exponentially.

In other words, just because I don’t want a deaf, dumb and blind thief to take the wheel of the school bus doesn’t necessarily mean I’m thrilled with the current driver.

Here’s Pluggers letting us know that he’s from the government and he’s here to help us. Stand up, Chuck!

Obama’s Plummeting Approval Numbers: A Theory

This morning, I was stuck in traffic for almost an hour due to road construction. During the delay, I was listening to a local talk show, and being discussed was a Rasmussen poll conducted over the weekend that showed President Obama’s approval ratings hitting a new low at 47%.

As I sat still amid a throng of idling cars occupied by frustrated drivers on the verge of road-rage, I looked down the road a bit, and proudly displayed in full view in front of a construction site where nobody was working on a 65-degree sunny morning was a sign just like this one:


From a political sales perspective, I think this was the biggest mistake the Obama administration has made so far — and that’s saying something. There’s nothing worse for a politician than to put a sign up to remind everybody exactly who it was that caused them to be late for work and pissed off that morning. Especially in an area that nobody’s been working in for quite some time.

Obama putting up “Recovery Act” signs that are synonymous with his administration in full view of the accompanying traffic jams has all the sales impact of placing Alpo billboards in front of pet cemeteries.

Road work is a necessary inconvenience (well, often it is anyway), but taking credit for extreme traffic backups is just plain stupid — which is why traffic jams have never been “sponsored” before, and probably never will be again when or if the geniuses behind Hopenchange figure this out.

In his insistence upon putting the “stimulus” signs next to highway projects, Obama might be costing himself the 2012 election, one angry driver at a time. Couple that with the “Peggy Effect,” and The One is in trouble.

Iraqi Reporter Who Threw Shoe at Bush to Be Released: Which Media Outlet Will Sign Him?

The hero of the Middle East, as well as a sole-brother with much of the U.S. mainstream press, will be back on the journalistic market soon:

The Iraqi journalist jailed after hurling his shoes at former President George W. Bush, will be released next month after his sentence was reduced for good behaviour.

Muntadhar al-Zeidi’s act during Bush’s last visit to Iraq as President turned the 30-year-old reporter into a folk hero across the Arab world, amid growing anger at the 2003 invasion.

He has been in custody since the outburst on December 14 last year during a Bush news conference.

The President was forced to duck for cover as the journalist shouted in Arabic:

‘This is your farewell kiss, you dog’

Hey, this guy was more fair and balanced toward Bush than much of the White House Press Corps was.

Question: After this reporter is released, which media outlet will be the first to sign him to a contract? ABC, NBC, CBS, the New York Times, USA Today, CNN, the Associated Press or NPR?

If you don’t remember, here’s al-Zeidi in action:

Update: Dale says the Iraqi reporter won’t be hired by MSNBC because he’s too right-wing for them. Ha!

The Future of Camelot: Kennedy Relative Gives Finger to Crowd

They should have had this girl do the shameless pitch for national health care during the funeral instead of Ted’s grandson — I’d have felt more comfortable hearing it while getting flipped off:

(FOX25, myfoxboston) – A woman that appears to be the daughter of Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg gives the middle finger to an unknown crowd member during Thursday’s procession.

Keep it classy, kid, and don’t choke on the silver spoon — you’re the future of Camelot:

Orrin Hatch Writes Song for Kennedy: “Headed Home” — Great Chorus, Good Verse, But the Bridge Needs Work

Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, a longtime friend of Ted Kennedy, has co-written a song in honor of Hatch’s late friend. This continues a long tradition of Republicans honoring Democrats when they pass on, such as Hatch is doing with Kennedy — and of Democrats honoring Republicans when they pass on, such as… er … well there was … um…

In any case, Hatch writes, “you have to admire a lifetime dedicated to public service and improving the lives of others.” I most certainly will, just as soon as somebody shows me one in Washington, DC.

The song is called “Headed home,” which of course is the last thing Mary Jo Kopechne heard when she got in the car, so it’s a fitting title:

(h/t Newsbusters)

Ed Klein: Oh That Ted Kennedy Was Dripping With Humor!

It really isn’t surprising to learn that Kennedy would talk about the latest Chappaquiddick jokes. I mean, this is a man who drove a car into the water and left a girl to die, but who later went on to name his dog “Splash” and write a book called “Back on Track.” It’s almost as if he was rubbing the event in the nose of America so they couldn’t effectively return the favor.

Via Brietbart:

Guest Host Katty Kay, on WAMU-FM/NPR’s “The Diane Rehm Show,” talks with Ed Klein, former foreign editor of Newsweek and former editor-in-chief of The New York Times Magazine, about his close friendship with Ted Kennedy.

So Ed, how was Ted Kennedy’s sense of humor?

Too bad they don’t let Klein deliver the eulogy tomorrow.

And in a prison somewhere, O.J. Simpson is probably telling Ginsu jokes.

Whoops: Charles Rangel Fails to Report Half His Assets

Congress is nothing but a huge septic tank that is long overdue for a comprehensive and powerful purging, starting with this wretched bilewad:

New York Democrat Rep. Charles B. Rangel, who is the subject of two House ethics investigations of his personal finances, failed to report at least $500,000 in assets on his 2007 Congressional disclosure form, according to an amended report he filed this month.
The new forms report that Rangel’s total net worth is between $1,028,024 and $2,495,000 — about twice the amount listed in the original disclosure statement, filed in May 2008, which declared assets totaling between $516,015 and $1,316,000.

Charles Rangel was once asked why he spent $777 taxpayer dollars per month on a car lease, and he said that driving a cheaper car would be a sign of disrespect to his constituents. Apparently, so is reporting half of his assets.

A spokesman for Pimpresentative Rangel said… oh, does it really matter? “I didn’t do it and I won’t do it again” about says it all.

Rangel’s excuse will probably be altruistic, such as that he was so busy making the lives of others better, or that reporting all his worth would have been “showing off,” and as such would have been a sign of disrespect to his constituents who are living through such tough economic times.

Rangel is also in arrears on New Jersey property taxes. Now all we can do is wait for Joe Biden to call him unpatriotic.

But rest assured, if you ask Rangel about any of this, he’ll probably just say “None of your goddamn business.”

ABC, NBC Refuse Anti-Obamacare Ads: We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Hopenchange Infomercial

Hey, the media didn’t spend all that air time, energy and money getting Obama elected and subsequently give him hour-long infomercials for free just to let the fear-mongering opposition on their air to oppose him:

The 33-second ad by the League of American Voters, which features a neurosurgeon who warns that a government-run health care system will lead to the rationing of procedures and medicine, began airing two weeks ago on local affiliates of ABC, NBC, FOX and CBS. On a national level, however, ABC and NBC have refused to run the spot in its present form.
NBC has questioned some of the ad’s facts while ABC has labeled it “partisan.”

For the record, NBC and ABC News consider a “partisan” to be somebody who doesn’t get an erection and/or nipples that could cut glass at the mere mention of the words “hope” or “change.”

However… the beauty of network television is that there are still slots provided for use by local affiliates. And guess what? Local television management is, for the most part, driven by satisfying the bottom line and can’t afford to victimize themselves with political bias, even if they do personally get a thrill up their leg at the mention of Obama. So, the League of American Voters is simply taking the money they would have spent on ABC and NBC network and buying local ad time — often during the same programs they sought to purchase nationally.

It’s a little more time consuming to buy local spots all across the country instead of one from the source, but you can still get the same bang for similar bucks, and at the same time you’re not giving your money to a group of people who will use it for future productions aimed at discrediting your ad.

Here’s the “controversial” anti-Obamacare commercial:

3 Things That Could Get You Carded: Buying Cigarettes, Buying Beer, and Asking Your Congressman a Question

At the town hall meeting of Virginia Rep. Jim Moran on Tuesday night, Moran carded a guy before he would answer his question. Seriously. The questioner looks like a high school kid trying to buy beer at 7-11.

Moran obviously thought the building was full of more plants than a greenhouse, but if it was, he picked the wrong guy to card.

Nothing helps you get re-elected like insulting your constituents in front of thousands of people:

(h/t Gateway Pundit)