Global Warming Could Cause Tilt in Earth’s Axis, As Could Al Gore Slipping in the Shower

Run for your lives, but lean more in one direction when you do it! The world as you know it is about to be turned upside-down… literally:

Oceans warmed by the rise in greenhouse gas levels could cause the Earth’s axis to tilt, according to a new study by NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Researchers say the tilt would be significant enough to create a large shift in the distribution of the Earth’s mass, especially when combined with the tilt being caused by the melting of Greenland’s ice.

From New Scientist:

The researchers modelled the changes that would occur if moderate projections made by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change – a doubling of carbon dioxide levels between 2000 and 2100 – were to become reality.

The team found that as the oceans warm and expand, more water will be pushed up and onto the Earth’s shallower ocean shelves. Over the next century, the subtle effect is expected to cause the northern pole of Earth’s spin axis to shift by roughly 1.5 centimetres per year in the direction of Alaska and Hawaii.

Since jet propulsion is a major contributor to man-made global warming — according to the Gorebots — it seems like the first recommendation that NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory would come out with to help decrease the rise in man-made greenhouse gases would be to de-fund and eliminate NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. But the first priority of the “green” crowd is self-preservation, no matter how pollution-spewing their existence is.

As the eternal optimist, I look at it this way: At least the Leaning Tower of Pisa might finally be straight. That thing’s been driving me nuts for a long time.

So, here’s the earth now:

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Here’s how the earth might look in 100 years if Al Gore doesn’t start losing weight and flying on private jets:

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This doesn’t scare me at all. Michigan, where I am, would be at the equator if the earth flipped 45-degrees off-axis in the direction of Alaska and Hawaii. This would save me a fortune on having to buy a second winter home down south when I’m older, so the sooner it happens the better.

And if I’m wrong, we can all just jump up and down and knock the earth into a cooler orbit. No worries.

I’m off to fire up the gas-powered leaf blower now.

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Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” video was the first to simulate how people will be standing when the earth tilts because of global warming and/or if Al Gore should slip and fall in the shower

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.