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Other headlines we might (or might not) see…

–Obama enlists help of Muslim extremists in war on Fox News

–Farrakhan: H1N1 vaccine invented to kill black people, give whites more rhythm

–Report: H1N1 vaccine tries to purchase St. Louis Rams

–Obama staff finds out Mao killed millions of people, feel kind of stupid now

–Senator drops health care bill, kills staffer

–Party with ex-Klansman 3rd in line to presidency decries GOP racism

–Shock health study: More die per year with insurance than without

–CIA reparations for those wrongly imprisoned at Gitmo include tickets to Rage Against the Machine concert, rights activists unamused

–Obama to refer to US military as ‘Hope Scouts’ until after Peace Prize ceremony

–David Axelrod mistaken for Safe-Way produce manager

–NY Mayor Bloomberg stuck in elevator with chain smoker eating Big Mac

–Frustrated tweeter trying to write 150-character suicide note credits Twitter’s 140-character limit with saving life.

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