Who should read it? Some are suggesting speed readers or certain celebrities, but that’s missing the point.
America’s survival may depend on finding somebody to read the bill who will never finish. My suggestion would be for a member of The Slow Talkers of America organization read the thing aloud, and with any luck it would never make it to a vote — and even if it did, the current batch of bunko artists in Washington will have long since gone on to their eternal punishment:
Either that or grab a random person from one of these cities to let them read it aloud and there’s a better than average chance they’ll barely even get started let alone finish in our lifetime.