Sheriff Roscoe P. Biden’s Epic Fail

Here’s what Barack Obama said on March 3, 2009 when outlining how his administration would maintain integrity in the stimulus payout process:

“To you, he’s Mr. Vice President,” President Obama said at the Department of Transportation this morning. “But around the White House we call him ‘The Sheriff’ because if you’re misusing taxpayer money, you’ll have to answer to him.”

How has Sheriff Roscoe P. Biden performed so far?:

Federal prosecutors are investigating a dozen cases of possible fraud involving the $787 billion stimulus package, a USA TODAY review of government records shows.

There are an additional 88 active investigations of potential misuse of that money, according to reports filed by internal watchdogs at 29 federal agencies managing stimulus funds and the congressional Government Accountability Office. Separately, GAO criminal investigators are reviewing nine cases, acting GAO head Gene Dodaro has said.

This would be a bigger problem if accounting wasn’t such an inexact science — and the fact that most of the stimulus money hasn’t even been spent yet means that we’ve only seen the tip of the fraud iceberg.

Who thinks the Sheriff has done a good job? Stand up, Chuck!

A basic tenet of law enforcement is “if the Sheriff is friends with the robbers, it’s probably a bad idea to let him guard the bank,” so the fact that this is going badly — either by incompetence, design, or a little of both — isn’t surprising.

Nice choice for a stimulus sheriff, Mr. President. Did Barney Fife have prior commitments?

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“Need a little help, Joe? You gotta nip it… nip it in the bud!