I’m hesitant to recommend this, given the current administration’s penchant for turning satire into reality, but it occurred to me that if the government insists on both spending trillions on Obamacare as well as ratcheting up airport security, maybe they should just combine the two and at least pretend to care about saving money.

It wouldn’t be difficult to turn the airport screening process into an Obamacare exam. Just think of how it would help make the hospital and doctors offices less crowded. It would also give the administration an excuse for more “in depth” searches under the guise of health. Talk about a win-win!

The TSA could train their personnel in medicine — or the government could train doctors in airport security — either way would work.

Most medical disciplines could be covered by the same government employees without really changing the way the TSA functions. Think of the health care screening opportunities at airports that we’re currently letting pass us by:



Breast Exams:










Eyes, Ears, Nose & Throat


Vision screening:

Urine testing:



Prostate Screening Express Lane:


Joe Biden heard about my Obamacare-port security plan, but recommended that all airport security screenings be performed at hospitals and doctors offices — and tens of thousands of “stimulus” jobs would be provided by moving the airports closer to those places. That might work too.


3 Responses to “Obamacare-port Security: An Idea Whose Time Has Come”

  1. Nanny on January 5th, 2010 1:27 pm

    Doug – EXCELLENT idea!

    I am surprised that BOOOOOOSH didn't come up with this idea. Killing two birds with one stone is just fiscally responsible and BOOOOOOOSH was too stupid to figure it out.

    Just thought I would beat Nick to the BDS commentary.

  2. Kitty on January 5th, 2010 2:31 pm

    This reminds me of a Friends episode in which Joey sent Ross to his tailor:

    "Chandler: He said he was going to do my inseam, then he ran his hand up my leg, and then there was definite…
    Ross: What?
    Chandler: …Cupping.
    Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross? Would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
    Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! "

  3. Rick on January 5th, 2010 4:09 pm

    health/security pics,lol. No Muslims were suspected,inconvenienced or cured.

    Need that special something to avoid embarassing TSA chuckles? Call Dr.Dix for our “Quick Fix”. 1-800-Billary

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