Be on the lookout for air travelers who look constipated (would that be profiling?), because if this remains almost impossible to detect, we might end up seeing more rump explosions than Barney Frank’s New Year’s Eve party:

There’s a new al Qaeda terror technique that has American security experts pooping in their pants — call it the “butt bomb.”

A suicide bomber recently put himself next to a member of the Saudi royal family, having outwitted bomb-detection machines in the palace, to set off an explosion using a charge that had been hidden in his rectum.

The ass-assin, Abdullah Asieri, stashed a pound of explosives and a detonator inside his body in the attack on Prince Mohammed Bin Nayef, head of counterterrorism for the kingdom, the Arab TV network Al Arabiya reported.

This takes that old “Rectum? Damn near killed ‘em” joke to a whole new level of frightening reality.

The equipment isn’t yet available to check for the “butt bombs” that are detonated by cell phone, so at the moment the only way we could avoid it is to hope the terrorist is victimized by a dropped call. (Update: Stephen Colbert has a solution)

As for the underwear bombers, “El Presidente” in Woody Allen’s movie “Bananas” had the right idea, and should be hired to replace Janet Napolitano and head up Homeland Security:

Comments

2 Responses to “New Terror Threat to Fret: Butt Bombs”

  1. Joyanna Adams on January 7th, 2010 6:50 pm

    I'll be waiting for the new "bend over" machine to be installed in all major cities of the United States..

    Wait..it's already here!

  2. Nanny on January 7th, 2010 9:23 pm

    You got that right Joyanna! The bend over machine resides in Washington DC and has kept us bent over for way to long!

    Turn the other cheek is something the American people are no longer going to stand for. Politicians have a rude awakening coming!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.