Super Bowl XLIV is almost upon us, and for the XLIVth straight year, I’m not stressed out about how the Lions will perform in the Super Bowl.
Here are a few predictions about not only the game, but the event as a whole:
–The Colts will beat the Saints. My reasoning is based on two factors: The Peyton Manning to Reggie Wayne combination will prove too much for the Saints to handle, but mostly because President Obama picked the Saints to win:
Ooh, sorry Saints, but you’ve just been Obama Cursed.
A couple other predictions:
–Right in the middle of Katie Couric’s interview with President Obama during pre-game coverage (CBS is finally doing something about Obama’s under-exposure), CBS News will lay off the cameraman, along with a boom-mic operator and the lighting director, leaving Couric to take over all jobs except the latter. A giddy Couric will claim that the lighting director job wasn’t necessary anyway because Obama is the light.
–Obama will tell Couric about his high school football days, including the time his teleprompter blocked the opponents’ potential game-winning field goal.
–As The Who is performing at halftime, Pete Townshend will fall off the stage and right on top of a 12-year-old child. Townshend will claim that he was only doing “research” on the effect of gravity on aging rock stars and juveniles. Some will suspect the White House staged the incident after President Obama just happens to be present to take over on guitar for Townshend.
–Government ethics investigators will be asked to look into the Census Bureau’s Super Bowl ad, for which the Bureau spent $2.5 million taxpayer dollars. The ad will feature Ed Begley, Jr. informing you of the upcoming census and letting you know that if you donate $250,000 tax-deductable dollars to ACORN, President Obama will personally come to your house and count your family.