Soldiers Must Call Lawyers From the Battlefield, and Other Symptoms of the PC Apocalypse

“Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes and call Sol Lieberstein’s office to get legal clearance.” –William Prescott if the Battle of Bunker Hill had been fought in 2010

Welcome to a world, and worse yet, a war designed by attorneys:

When Capt. Zinni spotted the four men planting the booby trap on the afternoon of Feb. 17, the first thing he did was call his lawyer.

“Judge!” he yelled.

Capt. Matthew Andrew, judge advocate for 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, advises the battalion about when it is legal to order the airstrikes. He examined the figures on the video feed closely. “I think you got it,” Capt. Andrew said, giving the OK for the strike.

I have a better idea. What we really need to do is just cut out the middle-man and make our lawyers fight the enemy. Eventually the problem might solve itself.


“An Army is a team. It eats, sleeps, calls its lawyer, Mirandizes alleged man-cause disaster initiators, serves the community and attends the gay wedding ceremonies of its platoon buddies as a team!”

(h/t HotAir)

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: