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The next president of the United States (I just like saying that because it makes liberals do this) was on the Tonight Show last night for an in-depth chat with Jay Leno.

Why does Palin still write on her hand? “To get the left all wee-wee’d up.” She also discussed the tea party movement, John McCain, and more.

The mini stand-up routine starts about five minutes into the clip — tip your waitstaff, try the veal:

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney was on the Letterman show and had a stark reminder for Dave.

Unsurprising update: Leno beat Letterman handily last night.

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