Having hinged the entire future of the country’s economy on “green jobs,” spent billions pushing them and created a Czar position for it, Team Obama now figures that it’s time to try and decide exactly what the hell a “green job” is — better late than never, I suppose:

Buried deep inside a federal newsletter on March 16 was something called a “notice of solicitation of comments” from the Bureau of Labor Statistics at the Department of Labor.

“BLS is responsible for developing and implementing the collection of new data on green jobs,” said the note in the Federal Register, which is widely read by government bureaucrats and almost never seen by the general public. But the notice said there is “no widely accepted standard definition of ‘green jobs.’” To help find that definition, the Labor Department asked that readers send in suggestions.

The notice came only after the department scoured studies from government, academia, and business in search of a definition. “The common thread through the studies and discussions is that green jobs are jobs related to preserving or restoring the environment,” the notice said. Duh! Beyond that, a precise definition has eluded Labor Department officials.

For any of you M*A*S*H fans, “green jobs” might remind you of the “Captain Tuttle” episode:

Hawkeye and Trapper invent a fictional Captain Tuttle (based on Hawkeye’s imaginary friend from childhood), but one thing leads to another and soon everyone at the camp believes Captain Tuttle is real. This creates problems when General Clayton decides to honor Tuttle by placing his picture in the newspaper and awarding him a medal.

Well, it’s time to put a picture of “green jobs” in the paper and award it a medal, so the scramble begins.


9 Responses to “Cart Before the Ass: Government Needs Help Deciding Just What the Hell a ‘Green Job’ Is”

  1. mnemosyne23 on June 11th, 2010 3:52 pm

    Well, if they'd like suggestions, I would like to nominate John Deere and its trademark green farm machinery.

  2. Barryoilspill on June 11th, 2010 4:52 pm

    Green is the new red. So a green job is one where the incumbent pretends to work and the state pretends to pay them.

  3. jvc on June 11th, 2010 4:58 pm

    Now that Van Jones has resigned as Green Jobs czar, who is his replacement? Is there another person in line for this special position?
    I'd speculate that the whole 'Green Jobs' czar position was created specifically to get Van Jones into the White House without Senate scrutiny. Now that he's out, there's no real urgency to fill the position.
    Apply above theory to all czar positions in the White House.

  4. cbishop on June 11th, 2010 5:10 pm

    "Green Jobs" reminds me of another over-worked phrase…"shovel-ready". We all know how well that turned out…

  5. den on June 11th, 2010 6:45 pm

    Are they going to ask for help figuring out what "healthcare" is? How about "terrorism"? Maybe "Oil Spill"?

  6. Rick on June 11th, 2010 5:07 pm

    Childhood also provides my suggestion.If anyone in our gang farted they called out…

    To Obama I say,”Catch that and paint it green”.

  7. swede on June 11th, 2010 10:06 pm

    Entirely logical. We had to pass BarryCare so we could see what's in it, and we have to hire people for Green Jobs so we can figure out what the he!! they are.

  8. Joe Redfield on June 11th, 2010 11:22 pm

    Definitions? Sounds like a job for Bubba.

  9. Anonymous on November 11th, 2010 5:05 am

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