Cart Before the Ass: Government Needs Help Deciding Just What the Hell a ‘Green Job’ Is

Having hinged the entire future of the country’s economy on “green jobs,” spent billions pushing them and created a Czar position for it, Team Obama now figures that it’s time to try and decide exactly what the hell a “green job” is — better late than never, I suppose:

Buried deep inside a federal newsletter on March 16 was something called a “notice of solicitation of comments” from the Bureau of Labor Statistics at the Department of Labor.

“BLS is responsible for developing and implementing the collection of new data on green jobs,” said the note in the Federal Register, which is widely read by government bureaucrats and almost never seen by the general public. But the notice said there is “no widely accepted standard definition of ‘green jobs.’” To help find that definition, the Labor Department asked that readers send in suggestions.

The notice came only after the department scoured studies from government, academia, and business in search of a definition. “The common thread through the studies and discussions is that green jobs are jobs related to preserving or restoring the environment,” the notice said. Duh! Beyond that, a precise definition has eluded Labor Department officials.

For any of you M*A*S*H fans, “green jobs” might remind you of the “Captain Tuttle” episode:

Hawkeye and Trapper invent a fictional Captain Tuttle (based on Hawkeye’s imaginary friend from childhood), but one thing leads to another and soon everyone at the camp believes Captain Tuttle is real. This creates problems when General Clayton decides to honor Tuttle by placing his picture in the newspaper and awarding him a medal.

Well, it’s time to put a picture of “green jobs” in the paper and award it a medal, so the scramble begins.