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The Star tabloid is claiming that Al Gore had what environmentalist adulterers call a “marriage offset.” And all this time I thought the couple split because Tipper caught Al listening to a Twisted Sister album.

Drudge had the siren out for this one:

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True, the Star is a tabloid, but it was a tabloid that broke the John Edwards story too. I’m not convinced yet though. Al Gore’s so big that he could go to bed alone and he’s still technically having a threesome, so we’ll have to wait and see.

Maybe that new mansion wasn’t for Tipper after all.

Update: The Star claims Gore has been melting the polar ice caps with Laurie David, ex-wife of Larry David, for the past two years. Laurie David produced “An Inconvenient Truth” and is an environmental hypocrite just like Al, so they do seem to have a lot in common. This isn’t the first time Laurie David has been linked to an affair. Saving the world makes you horny!

But, just to be safe, blame Bush for these rumors until everything is sorted out.

Update II: The day after Al Gore criticized the Obama administration and BP for censoring and limiting media coverage in the Gulf, a tabloid alleges a Gore affair? “Rahm works fast” says NRO’s Jim Geraghty.

Update III: Laurie David issues a denial, but in their story The Star says the science is settled on this matter, so we have no choice but to believe The Star.

Comments

9 Responses to “A Consensus of Scientists Believe a Tabloid is Reporting That Al Gore Had an Affair; Updated”

  1. Rick on June 15th, 2010 5:28 pm

    Laurie David thinks she’s saved a humpback.
    Tipper can get even by dating any Republican or BP exec.

    Larry David to go polar bear hunting with the Palins.

  2. Doug on June 15th, 2010 7:39 pm

    Haha! What I wouldn't give to see Tipper start dating a BP exec… preferably one who smokes and hunts.

  3. swede on June 15th, 2010 7:48 pm

    We miss you at MM already Doug. Folks over there are itching for a Man/Bear/Pig/Studmuffin link, and you're on it! Thanks for the good work filling in. You are appreciated.

    Unconfirmed reports continue that a Polar Bear claims her baby is Gore's love cub. It's all so sordid.

  4. Doug on June 15th, 2010 7:49 pm

    Thanks Swede! I'll be back there starting Thursday and probably through the weekend.

  5. Nanny on June 15th, 2010 7:52 pm

    Good one Rick – but I would prefer Larry David going hunting with Dick Cheney!!!

  6. swede on June 15th, 2010 10:09 pm

    Dang! I coulda swore that was a grouse! Reload.

  7. maladroit on June 16th, 2010 12:25 am

    Ick! Just the thought of Gore and Laurie David creating their own version of global warming makes my skin crawl.
    Now we know why The Gores purchased the second energy-scarfing crib; Tipper wanted a nice ocean view, because even she knows the sea won't rise and Al's full of carbon-based sh!t.
    Al can stay behind at the 95,000 sq foot Gore Compound and continue playing to his diehard Gorons.

  8. OK_Loyalist on June 16th, 2010 12:11 am

    The bright side, there is a Plugs Biden story hanging on Drudge that may get posted over here instead of there.

  9. LaughOutLoud on June 16th, 2010 2:34 pm

    Gives new meaning the the term "bumpin' ugly"…

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