Free Kobayashi! Hot Dog Eating Champion Arrested

If I had to go to jail, I can’t think of anything I’d rather not be famous for than as a world champion hot dog swallower:

Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi was arrested Sunday after attempting to hop on stage following a rival’s win in the 95th annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition.

Joey “Jaws” Chestnut celebrated the Fourth of July by downing 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Moments later, Kobayashi, who did not compete due to contractual issues with Major League Eating, tried to jump on stage wearing a “Free Kobi” shirt, but police arrested him. The 32-year-old eater won the competition six years in a row before Chestnut bested him in 2007.

Free Kobayashi! I might be over-exaggerating, but Kobayashi could go down in history as the Nelson Mandela of professional gluttony-rights activists.

Damn that Major League Eating — wait, there’s an organization called “Major League Eating”?

By the way, I think I came about three hot dogs away from besting Joey Chestnut in my backyard today.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: