Joe Biden: I Will Personally Change Your Diaper, America!

Sheriff Joe was interviewed on the Today Show and talked about “the Bush recession” (political branding at its most desperate).

Biden reassured everyone that some of the reasons the economy is so lousy in the first place are standing by to make sure that nobody goes without:

VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: “My message is keep the faith. We are moving in the right direction. We are not going to let you go without food or basic services. That will not happen in this country and our administration.”

I feel comforted already. “We’re not gonna let you die, man… just focus on me, focus on me… we’re not gonna let you die… just don’t let go of my hand, pal…”

In addition to making sure we don’t die as a result of their incompetence, Biden also promised to personally balance and rotate America’s tires, make its breakfast, wash and walk its dog, and teach its kids the three Rs (redistributin’, redistributin’ and redistributin’).

Earlier, President Obama offered up one unemployed woman’s sad tale as a reason unemployment benefits should be extended indefinitely. Call me heartless, but this didn’t convince me.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.