If I had to go to jail, I can’t think of anything I’d rather not be famous for than as a world champion hot dog swallower:
Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi was arrested Sunday after attempting to hop on stage following a rival’s win in the 95th annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition.
Joey “Jaws” Chestnut celebrated the Fourth of July by downing 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Moments later, Kobayashi, who did not compete due to contractual issues with Major League Eating, tried to jump on stage wearing a “Free Kobi” shirt, but police arrested him. The 32-year-old eater won the competition six years in a row before Chestnut bested him in 2007.
Free Kobayashi! I might be over-exaggerating, but Kobayashi could go down in history as the Nelson Mandela of professional gluttony-rights activists.
Damn that Major League Eating — wait, there’s an organization called “Major League Eating”?
By the way, I think I came about three hot dogs away from besting Joey Chestnut in my backyard today.
At least according to a new Marist poll, which says 26% of people in this country donâ€™t know that the U.S. declared its independence from Great Britain.
That includes 20% who were unsure and 6% who thought the U.S. separated from another nation.
So what country do people think the U.S. achieved its independence from?
Among the countries mentioned were France, China, Japan, Mexico and Spain.
Can you imagine somebody actually saying we declared independence from Mexico? The Obama administration is about a week away from declaring independence from Arizona in order to avoid declaring independence from Mexico.
Why am I guessing that if you broke down this poll along party lines, the vast majority of this 26% voted for Rainbows, Gumdrops & Unicorns?
Let’s close with a famous quote from Ronald Reagan: “Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July; Democrats believe every day is April 15th.”
Happy Independence Day all!
Update: Watch this clip from Jay Leno and the above percentage will start to seem a little low — in particular I like the woman who says the US gained independence from Greece, and the college professor who thinks we won independence in… 1922:
Hope & Change promised to save taxpayers from a lot of wasteful spending, but as it turns out, that kind of fiscal responsibility doesn’t come cheap:
The White House released its staff salary data today as has been required of all administrations annually since 1995. The list goes from the top, chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, all the way down to the lowest-level employee. The Office of Vice President and Office of Management are not included. The staggering sum for the Obama administration staff comes to $38,796,307.00.
In comparison, the White House staff salaries for President Bushâ€™s last year in office, 2008, came to $33,193,021.00. Thatâ€™s a difference of $5,603,286.00, or an increase of 16.9% from the Bush administration to the current Obama administration.
And all this after the left called Obama’s “salary freeze” for White House staff making over $100,000 a “welcome change” after eight years of Bush/Cheney.
You see, it’s not necessarily the amount of the individual staff salary that adds up — it’s the number of staff.
And while we’re at it, President Obama’s “Deficit Reduction Commission” is asking for more funding.
Get out the aerosol hairspray you were instructed to stop using in the mid-1980’s and start spraying again with reckless abandon — the disappearing ozone layer that was giving eco-wieners the runs has been healing and re-appearing, but naturally there’s a downside to that:
While the hole in the Earth’s protective ozone layer is slowly healing, its recovery might have a downside, scientists say: Climate change could change wind patterns and send ozone from high in the atmosphere down to the surface, where it is a major component of smog.
The discovery of a hole in the ozone layer above Antarctica was announced by a team of British scientists in 1985. The cause of the hole was attributed to ozone-depleting chemicals like chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs), which were primarily used in cooling units and propellants. When CFCs reach the ozone layer, they release chlorine atoms that rip ozone apart and peel away layers of Earth’s natural sunscreen.
This is the beauty of the “climate change” scheme — no matter what happens, you’re screwed unless you become a willing dupe in the latest money and power-grab scheme du jour.
The ozone layer disappears? We’re screwed. It’s getting better? We’re screwed. But somehow all will be well if Al Gore gets richer.
By the way, “Ozone Layer” is Gore’s code name in the masseuse community.
You’d think that the news that Al Qaeda is starting a magazine would cause Newsweek to be a little nervous to know they have a new competitor in the market, but for now, their focus is to keep people who really know what sells magazines from buying them out:
WITH a 5 p.m. Thursday deadline approaching for the final round of bids, at least two people were preparing to make offers for Newsweek while two others were told by the magazineâ€™s owners that their bids would not be considered.
With no shortage of interested parties, the issue for the Post Company has become whether it can find a new owner that the companyâ€™s chairman and chief executive, Donald E. Graham, believes will be a suitable steward for the magazine.
That is the main reason the Post Company decided not to entertain offers from Newsmax or Mr. Ritchie, according to these people. The conservative political ideology of Newsmaxâ€™s chief executive, Christopher Ruddy, is at odds with the editorial bent of Newsweek, which strives to be apolitical in its news coverage though is often criticized as left-leaning.
Excuse me, but hahahahahahaha!
Yeah, a conservative editorial slant might ruin Newsweek’s legendary objectivity.