New Message Reportedly From Bin Laden Urges Muslim Stimulus Plan, Battle Against Climate Change

null

How do you say “Re-investment & Recovery Act” in Pashto?

(CNN) — A message purportedly from al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden is urging Muslims to tackle famine, flood relief, and clean water — stark problems plaguing parts of the Islamic world.

The message, which appeared on jihadist forums Friday, strongly urged Muslims to help Muslims by investing in infrastructure projects and developing awareness programs, such as how to deal with issues like water pollution.

The speaker started the message by wishing the Muslim world a happy Ramadan, which fell between early August and early September, and he also focused on the floods in Pakistan.

The speech, entitled, “Pauses with the Method of Relief Work,” came in an 11 minute, 39 second video produced by al-Qaeda’s media arm, as-Sahab.

CNN could not verify the authenticity of the message.

Up to now, the only thing known as a “green job” in Pakistan belonged to the guy charged with washing Bin Laden’s underwear every other Ramadan.

Bin Laden’s also all about tackling global warming now:

“The number of victims caused by climate change is very big … bigger than the victims of wars.”

Osama Bin Laden and Al Gore can now stand as one! And don’t tell me this doesn’t put Obama’s wacko science czar John Holdren in a state of visibal arousal.

By the way, the U.N. was so moved by the new alleged Bin Laden tape that they dispatched an envoy to offer Bin Laden a job.