The DHS Wants People to Report ‘Suspicious Activity’ at… Walmart?

“Big Brother” is very busy these days — and so is Big Sister.

From the Department of Homeland Security website:

Washington, D.C. – Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Janet Napolitano today announced the expansion of the Department’s national “If You See Something, Say Something” campaign to hundreds of Walmart stores across the country – launching a new partnership between DHS and Walmart to help the American public play an active role in ensuring the safety and security of our nation.

Now when you’re in line at Walmart in the coming months, as if the screaming babies, unattended kids, guy who hasn’t showered since the Nixon administration and a variety of disgruntled shoppers weren’t enough, you’ll also be subjected to the following friendly announcement from the Department of Homeland Security:

Help me out, J-Nap — what exactly should be reported at Walmart? For example, if I didn’t know better, I’d guess this person is toting around a belt bomb:

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Is this a scooter theft in progress?

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Are these masked mujahadeen about to take over the store and hold everybody hostage?

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There must be Taliban in the area:

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Is something getting ready to go down? Looks like it to me:

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“Hello, DHS. I’d like to report somebody impersonating Janet Napolitano”:

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Would this warrant a call to the proper authorities, or no?

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Sure enough, Janet — we’ll be sure to report anything out of the ordinary.

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Speaking of “suspicious” — an Obama muumuu?

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I’ll bet you can pick one up really cheap these days.

Photos from PeopleofWalMart.com