You can’t make this stuff up:

MANASSAS, Va. (WUSA) — They call themselves the “Christmas Sweater Club” because they wear the craziest ones they can find. They also sing Christmas songs at school and try their best to spread Christmas cheer.

Now all 10 of them are in trouble because of what they did at their school.

“They said, ‘maliciously maim students with the intent to injure.’ And I don’t think any of us here intentionally meant to injure anyone, or did,” said Zakk Rhine, a junior at Battlefield High School.

The boys say they were just tossing small two-inch candy canes to fellow students as they entered school. The ones in plastic wrap that are so small they often break apart.

Skylar Torbett, also a junior, said administrators told him, “They said the candy canes are weapons because you can sharpen them with your mouth and stab people with them.” He said neither he nor any of their friend did that.

Next thing they knew, they were all being punished with detention and at least two hours of cleaning. Their disciplinary notices say nothing about malicious wounding but about littering and creating a disturbance.

More to the story? Possibly, but this is consistent with the over-the-top “security” concerns at many schools I’ve seen.

And here’s a school administrator that must be a blast at parties:

Mother Kathleen Flannery said an administrator called her and explained “not everyone wants Christmas cheer. That suicide rates are up over Christmas, and that they should keep their cheer to themselves, perhaps.”

A couple of things surprise me, beyond the obvious. First, “Battlefield” high school? I can’t believe there’s not a discussion going on to get rid of that name and replace it with “Cuddly Teddy Bear” high school or something less dangerous sounding. Also, they’re still allowed to say Christmas? That’s surprising.

This group should change their name to the “Ramadan Sweater Club” and I bet the school wouldn’t have dared screw with them.

(h/t Weasel Zippers)


15 Responses to “Latest School Threat of Weapons Grade Candy Canes Successfully Put Down”

  1. sizemorew on December 21st, 2010 2:11 pm

    Scrooges. Way to go Christmas Sweater Club for trying to spread the cheer!

    Mother Kathleen Flannery said an administrator called her and explained “not everyone wants Christmas cheer. That suicide rates are up over Christmas, and that they should keep their cheer to themselves, perhaps.”

    Wait. Wouldn't spreading the cheer and making someone smile have a positive effect and possibly help bring the suicide rate down? That administrator clearly has the most Scrooge-ish attitude: "If they'd rather die, then they'd better do it and decrease the surplus population!"

  2. Doug on December 21st, 2010 2:22 pm

    I'm guessing this admin's a lib… their solution to being "fair" about everything is to make everybody equally miserable.

  3. Marshall_Will on December 21st, 2010 2:52 pm

    These young guys are an inspiration to us all! ( Hey, don't sweat the whole Detention thing, I used to pull 2 hours standing on my head! ) Your good old Uncle Marshall will make sure you won't have to go the SuperBad route to score alkie-haul this Christmas Season. Just tell me where, when and how much!

    Welcome to Club Conservative where you can get into trouble just for being yourself? You'll LOVE being ridiculed mercilessly for observing time-honored traditions and called raaaaacist at the drop of a hat!

    Every husband has a "stupid Christmas sweater their wife was genuinely HURT we were "too dignified" to wear!". This year I'll be sporting mine w/ Pride! ( She won't even know what's come over you? ) Good on ya' boys!

  4. OK_Loyalist on December 21st, 2010 3:34 pm

    I believe you mean equally miserable (pathetic) as themselves ???

  5. SignPainterGuy on December 21st, 2010 3:37 pm

    (In whispering tones) The hollow oak stump behind the gym – Thur. nite, 9:15 – 2 litre jug !

    "stupid Christmas sweater….", mine were shirts with the buttons on the wrong side – a crotcheted "tie", bright orange, that made a better scarf and a waaay big polar fleece plaid shirt that I still wear as a house coat !

    It`s beyond me why some groups of parents don`t "storm" these pc overwhelmed schools and teach them some common sense !?

  6. SignPainterGuy on December 21st, 2010 4:05 pm

    O/T, but I wanted to share……. I needed a new booklet of Forever stamps, so I stood patiently in line watching two of the sweetest young lady Post Office clerks having to deal w/ rude and impatient customers. When it was my turn, as I walked toward the clerk smiling at me, I said, "I have a complaint!" The lobby fell silent. Eye-daggers stabbed me in the back ! "I bought your dadburned Forever stamps and they DON`T LAST FOREVER, I`m OUT ALREADY ! I want another pack and these don`t last FOREVER, I`m gonna be mad !" The silence was broken !
    The other clerk remembers the money order amount I bought for child support 10 yrs ago ! Customers look at me funny, the girls snicker when I ask them to "order me some money !" I love to see their smiles ! :-)

  7. Marshall_Will on December 21st, 2010 4:39 pm


    OT Warning!:

    Perhaps you can clear things up but back in '08 MM ran an article that 'seems' conflicted with the latest Census data. "Bagdad Bob" ( lol ) aside, I had thought TX was actually the unwilling recipient of "Bluing" where Libs come for the Tax Climate ( and stay for the Lib-orgy? )

    I realize things can change ( my-oh-MY can they change! ) but this would be quite a reversal of what appeared to be a well-established/irreversible trend? Anyone else that would like to take a SWAG is of course welcome . ( Sorry… about, the uh, Michigan thing ) There's always Oregon! TIA.

  8. Doug on December 21st, 2010 4:49 pm

    Thanks for the heads-up… I'll do a little digging and check it out soon!

  9. Marshall_Will on December 21st, 2010 5:21 pm


    Oh… pffftt, BELIEVE me ( I'm hardly 'complaining' here? ) News that good… well let's just say I've never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

    Still, I recall it was such a depressing article ( no fault of the author! ) it really stayed w/ me. I quickly Searched MM's Archives and couldn't find it. What makes it more remarkable is that not only would it represent a "tipping of the scales" if you will, but a bonafide victory from the Jaws Of Defeat-o-crats?

    I used 'Bluing' and 'Blueing' to no avail.

  10. Breaking News from DHS! | Robert L. Bryant on December 21st, 2010 8:08 pm

    [...] Uh… Yeeaaaaaahhh…. [...]

  11. eggbert on December 21st, 2010 11:47 pm

    when sweaters and candy canes are outlawed, only outlaws will have sweaters and candy canes

  12. OK_Loyalist on December 22nd, 2010 12:13 am

    So true !

  13. boatsailor on December 22nd, 2010 12:27 am

    Kids involved have a little history at this school, also other students there say it was more than just handing out candy cans, throwing them hard at the kids they didn't like (bullying?). School name was big discussion point eight years ago, same county opening new high school next year to be called Patriot High School. Manassas National Battlefield close by (northern Virginia).

  14. SignPainterGuy on December 22nd, 2010 12:27 am

    Good one !

    BTW, if my comediene sister had gotten her wish, your interwebs code name would have been my real name ! We laugh about it "now" !

  15. OK_Loyalist on December 22nd, 2010 2:19 am

    I like both Coburn and Inhofe, neither are perfect, but they usually vote/act the way I want 95% of the time. Does the other 5% irk me? You betcha. Then I listen to others elsewhere and think I am very fortunate to have fate bring me to OK.

    MW, I appreciate you picking up on my words of encouragement to Ken.

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