I Wasn’t Going to Watch Oprah’s New Network, But This Ensures That I’m Not Going to Watch it Twice as Much

Oprah’s new network debuts on New Years Day. Are you excited? Me neither.

And Oprah’s gone out of her way to make sure I never even peek at the channel out of curiosity:

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“Today’s topics: Fire still can’t melt steel, how I haven’t stopped hating Elizabeth Hasselbeck, and why I only got married because Bush pissed me off.”

And here’s something else I really need: Financial advice from Sarah Ferguson:

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Because if it’s delivered in a British accent, it must be worthy of your attention.

I’ll be watching bowl games all day on New Years, but if anybody wants to take one for the team and watch the Oprah Channel and report back, feel free!