Oprah’s new network debuts on New Years Day. Are you excited? Me neither.

And Oprah’s gone out of her way to make sure I never even peek at the channel out of curiosity:


“Today’s topics: Fire still can’t melt steel, how I haven’t stopped hating Elizabeth Hasselbeck, and why I only got married because Bush pissed me off.”

And here’s something else I really need: Financial advice from Sarah Ferguson:


Because if it’s delivered in a British accent, it must be worthy of your attention.

I’ll be watching bowl games all day on New Years, but if anybody wants to take one for the team and watch the Oprah Channel and report back, feel free!


13 Responses to “I Wasn’t Going to Watch Oprah’s New Network, But This Ensures That I’m Not Going to Watch it Twice as Much”

  1. Marshall_Will on December 28th, 2010 2:00 pm

    What I guess I've always failed to understand about the supposed "Oprah Effect" is that.., if she really 'was' this all-empowering figure ( then why aren't more of her followers more self-sufficient? )

    Wouldn't ( after 20-some odd years ) of carpet bomb-broadcasting her viewers be at the perfect weight, financially and psychologically FIT as well? No, no they are not. In fact, as a group, they're as f'd up as EVER!

    Is the inference here that, save for 'her' the avg. American woman would be a LOT 'worse' off? Certainly seems to be? Tell ya' what, if a -real- role model is what they're looking for.., why not MM or Sarah? O's message of self-reliance can't mean much if you're always (1) Episode away from attaining it? IMHO.

  2. Doug on December 28th, 2010 2:10 pm

    Ha! Good points.

    The "advice" solves problems the way government programs are intended to "solve" poverty. If poverty goes away, there's no need for the poverty pimp, so there's no motivation to actually solve the problem. Same with Oprah — if she solves everybody's financial and emotional problems, they won't need to tune in tomorrow or subscribe to her magazine.

  3. Marshall_Will on December 28th, 2010 2:33 pm

    "poverty pimp" lol ( this stuff just comes naturally to you doesn't it? )

    What's even more incredible is that, we all have friends that are convinced their "new trainer" will whip them into shape, or their new GF will be the answer to all their relationship issues etc.

    That part I 'get'. My "new accountant" is getting my tax issues resolved as we speak! What I -don't- get is going back to the SAME person for advice time and again and walking away w/ nothing but another hour of your life down the tubes?

  4. SignPainterGuy on December 28th, 2010 2:52 pm

    Doug, if you weren`t going to watch OWN to begin with and now you`re not going to watch it twice as much, does that mean you`ll see twice as little?

  5. Doug on December 28th, 2010 3:24 pm

    Let me run that question through my Yogi Berra descrambler and I'll get back to you!

  6. Marshall_Will on December 28th, 2010 4:00 pm

    I'm not ready to label OWN "Epic Fail" ( just yet ) but the demographic for extreme left programming is shrinking by the day. MSNBC is struggling as are the other left-leaning outlets.

    Unless Rosie has moved radically in her views, even if she attracts viewers, it's doubtful she'll be able to 'keep' them. Besides, the entire format looks about as 'fresh' as a fake-news comedy show? ( Gee, 'that's' never been done before )

    If anything, what the next logical step in media would be to have a live-blogging/interactive platform where viewers would have realtime access. Not more Tom Cruise interviews. That lame BS is DOA. More like how Frank Luntz works w/ an audience. Split screen w/ Tanya Reinman, scrolling comments etc.

  7. nannykins on December 28th, 2010 4:38 pm

    I will take football over these skanks any day and twice on Sunday. O still thinks Zero is the savior of the US and it's economy – now that is truly – the Big Lie. Her and Rosie and the twit Brit can pontificate all they want but I think the American people have had enough of all of them – Zero included.

    Like the idea of the Frank Luntz format, but I do think it would be very difficult to find a fair and balanced audience that likes Rosie the terrorist.

    Hope this whole endeavor is an epic fail!!!

  8. Marshall_Will on December 28th, 2010 4:54 pm

    "and twice on Sunday" lol

    Nannykins, right, the U.S has already had an overdose of these clowns and figured out the -last- thing they need is more neatly wrapped ( nicely displayed ) misinformation.

    I… guess I kind of assumed that was where MM was heading w/ HotAir? Impromptu videos on timely topics w/ more emphasis on urgency and getting the word out ( rather than 'polished' snippets with your dinner/eve. news? )

    What could possibly exhibit the need for that more than the Kabuki-Duck Session? Thus far, TV and blogging have remained unengaged.

  9. nannykins on December 28th, 2010 4:54 pm

    Hey Doug – because our firm has done business with GM in the past we are getting all of the bankruptcy notices. I started looking at it and found something interesting. Their are six entities under this GM filing. Included are these: Chevrolet-Saturn of Harlem, Inc and GM National Hawaii, Inc and NCRS Hawaii, Inc. Any clue who and why these companies are included this filing? I tried pulling up some info and couldn't find much on them.

  10. nannykins on December 28th, 2010 7:09 pm

    I do not watch any news on TV anymore with the exception of Brett Bair at 6 pm and catch the local weather in the am before work. Other than that – none of what they report can be watched let alone trusted. As for these fluff shows that is all it is and especially when they trot out the likes of a "man" having a baby and the mental midgets like Tom Cruise. I neither have the time nor the patience for the drivel they think they are enlightening us with. It is sad that there is an audience for this crap. Just wish it was a lot less audience and a lot less sponsors. I still don't buy Sargento cheese because of their slam against Glenn Beck and I hardly watch him anymore. It is just that these "progressive" believing companies support what is tearing down our beloved country and I cannot in good concience purchase their products.

  11. Jeremie Jordan on December 28th, 2010 8:47 pm

    Rosie's 'trademarke' humor? Didn't realize there was a need to secure that. She may want to sue Joy Behar for infringement on the sad, bitter, bitch humor.

  12. Mike S. on December 28th, 2010 11:07 pm

    Doug, I'd LOVE to take one for team and watch it, but I'll be busy organizing my sock drawer…alphabetically, by color…and I have a LOT of socks.

  13. stream audio online on March 30th, 2012 4:15 am

    If you’ve been anywhere near a television over the past few days, you’ve likely seen that question posed in ads trumpeting Wednesday’s final episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show".

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