Here’s how I’m looking at this based on all the available information: As we’ve been told, global warming causes blizzards. Blizzards cause city union workers to call in sick at more than twice the normal rate. City union workers calling in sick makes garbage pile up. And garbage piling up saves lives:
A despondent West Side man took a leap out of his ninth-floor window this afternoon â€” but was saved when he landed onto a huge pile of garbage thatâ€™s been collecting since New Yorkâ€™s devastating post-Christmas blizzard, officials said.
Way to go, global warming! Now this guy can get the help he obviously needs. The science is settled: Al Gore doesn’t care about people.
Related news: Treacher has a good idea for New Yorkers who want the next blizzard plowed out much faster: Next time, convince Mayor Bloomberg that you’re enjoying it and it’ll be gone in no time. Either that or tell him that it’s salt.