I thought the whole idea about buying and driving hybrids was to save the planet from a horrific global warming fate, but the good news is that if you drive one, while you’re waiting for the planet to incinerate under several feet of snow, you might be able to park 50 feet closer to the mall:

An increasing number of Orlando buildings and venues are instituting front-row hybrid-only parking spaces in an attempt to earn “green” building status and reward car owners considered environmentally friendly. Places like the University of Central Florida, Ikea in South Orlando, and the Amway Center are just a few who are giving hybrid’s preferential treatment.

For now, the hybrid-only spots aren’t policed like a handicapped parking spot. But defenders are hoping the public will shame people into compliance.

“Right now this is a promotional thing, so I don‘t think we’re seeing enforcement,” Jon Ippel, the city of Orlando’s sustainability manager, told the Orlando Sentinel. “It’s more peer pressure. Hopefully the evil eyes violators get will force them to comply.“ He went on to call the spots ”sustainable spaces.”

And if you’re pregnant, handicapped and driving a hybrid, they let you drive right in the front door.

If this catches on, I can see one possible up-side: It might prompt Al Gore to finally stop being a hypocrite and drive a Volt so he doesn’t have to haul his fat butt so far to get to the buffet (though I’m sure the hybrid-only spots contain built-in disclaimers that will allow Al Gore’s limo convoy to park in them).

But maybe this is just a roundabout way to force the physically disabled, pregnant and elderly to buy hybrids to boost the sales that so far aren’t there.

Side note of irony: What’s the least sustainable government job? “Sustainability Manager.”


25 Responses to “New Trend: Eco-capped Parking”

  1. steveegg on January 2nd, 2011 1:06 pm

    If I had a GMC Sierra Hybrid, I'd take up two of those spots just for spite.

  2. Mike S. on January 2nd, 2011 2:13 pm

    Well, I haven't been on the UCF campus for a while, and haven't been to the new Amway Arena yet, so I haven't spotted any of these. I will have to check out some of the malls around here to see if they've got some. I wonder if they'd mind if I parked my Mustang GT in one of the spots? They're not going to shame me out of it, I can assure you.

  3. Doug on January 2nd, 2011 2:40 pm

    If you happen to see one with a Hummer parked in the spot, PLEASE send us a picture!

  4. The Watcher on January 2nd, 2011 3:01 pm

    Well, you GOTTA park them close to the door; I mean, they've only got so much room for the on-board charger cord, gotta be able to reach the plug in the building.

  5. SignPainterGuy on January 2nd, 2011 3:01 pm

    "Sustainability Manager", lol, that sounds about as important as Meanchelle`s Assistant to the asst. to the asst. personal White House Planning Secretary !

    Until Albore can get a stretched-armored Volt w/ taxpayer provided chauffeur, don`t look for him to get nearer to one than a tv ad on MessNBC !

    Those "Fuel Efficient Car Only Parking" signs are in front of my local Best Buy, and while I have seen Priuses and various other "fuel squeezer" models making use of them, the last car I saw parked in the frontest space was the most highly customized new-model Camaro I`ve ever seen….the most chrome, stripes, louvers, wide low-pro tires and a conspicuous emblem on the trunk – 605 HP ! I looked it over pretty well and didn`t see a "Hybrid" tag anywhere !

  6. Joe Redfield on January 2nd, 2011 3:17 pm

    "Sustainable" parking spaces? The English language absorbs another body blow in Florida.

  7. John Ferebee on January 2nd, 2011 3:25 pm

    You forgot to mention Liberal Parking Only and BO Bumper Sticker Parking Only.

  8. OK_Loyalist on January 2nd, 2011 4:19 pm

    Going to be a long time before we get Hybrid Only Parking that close to the door here in OK as the obese smokers in Handicap spots will never give up that honor without a fight.

  9. Elites: Park Behind Us, Cripples! | Robert L. Bryant on January 2nd, 2011 4:30 pm

    [...] With the greenies always pushing their agenda, they have sunk to an even lower-low. No longer being satisfied to go to extravagant get-togethers to redistribute the wealth of America, they are now pushing to be able to park closer to places with new “Hybrid Parking” spots. Have a look-see of the pic at Doug Powers site: [...]

  10. Doug on January 2nd, 2011 4:57 pm

    That's a real paradox, isn't it? To be a "sustainable" parking spot, they'd have to prevent anybody from parking there — but if nobody can park there, it's not a parking spot. Eco moonbat gobbledygook at its finest.

  11. Doug on January 2nd, 2011 4:58 pm

    Maybe at some point there will be a civil war between the obese and the eco-weenies and the problem will solve itself.

  12. George Wash on January 2nd, 2011 5:48 pm

    Doug Powers – so dumb he doesn't know the difference between hybrid and electric. Why do all Conservatives hate business innovation?

  13. Beccy on January 2nd, 2011 5:49 pm

    As an Orlandoan, I am going to seek out those spots just to park my Toyota Sequoia in them. The environmental nut jobs are welcome to bring on their evil eyes…it can't possibly come close to the looks I get from my teen and preteen boys!

  14. OK_Loyalist on January 2nd, 2011 5:56 pm

    "Why do all Conservatives hate business innovation? " Like capitalism, Einstein ?

  15. OK_Loyalist on January 2nd, 2011 5:57 pm

    Good one !

  16. OK_Loyalist on January 2nd, 2011 6:14 pm

    Maybe this lil' ditty I found will help straighten out your confusion of conservatives.

    For those who don't know about history … Here is a condensed version:

    Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

    The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

    1. Liberals
    2. Conservatives.

    Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

    Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement…

    Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and making art. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

    Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
    conservatives provided.

    Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

    Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare..

    Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

    Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

    Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

    Here ends today's lesson in world history:

    It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

    A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to p!ss them off.

  17. Doug on January 2nd, 2011 6:27 pm

    The Volt IS a hybrid, doofus — and it's not "business innovation" — it's government intervention. If it was "business innovation" the government wouldn't be involved. If a private sector company makes and sells a hybrid or electric car and makes money, great. If the government has to lie about the necessity in order to confiscate tax dollars to stuff pork in union and political pockets to do so… that's hardly "business innovation."

    Geez, is there anything sadder than somebody who's smug AND stupid? I can handle either one separately, but both together tend to annoy.

    For the record, here's the definition of a "hybrid":

    "A hybrid electric vehicle (HEV) combines a conventional internal combustion engine (ICE) propulsion system with an electric propulsion system."

    Hey, just like the Volt!

  18. Beccy on January 2nd, 2011 6:33 pm

    Since we were near the Best Buy on West Colonial in Orlando, we stopped by to see if they had a green parking spot for my Sequoia. No luck…all they had was a spot for "expectant mothers and families with infants." My quest for these stupid spots continues….

  19. Beccy on January 2nd, 2011 6:37 pm

    My 15 year old son, who is being raised as a good little conservative, loved this!

  20. SignPainterGuy on January 2nd, 2011 8:05 pm

    The Sequoia, IMO, is a fine looking, very comfortable and safe gas hog ! You go girl , park wherever you wish ! Just stay off the sidewalk in front of the store !

  21. SignPainterGuy on January 2nd, 2011 8:07 pm

    Right you are, Doug ! +1 !

  22. SignPainterGuy on January 2nd, 2011 8:15 pm

    My local Best Buy has the "Fuel Efficient cars, etc….", "H/C" AND the "Expectant Mothers….." Parking spaces reserved. They`re covering all the bases ! I always park way off to the side to avoid door dings !

  23. SignPainterGuy on January 2nd, 2011 8:27 pm

    Terrific history lessen Prof. OK_L ! That explains a lot – I love red meat and fish, the taste of good beer and I feel useless if I`m not working with my hands ! Oh, and I hate being the boss ! But I like my full-size pickup !

  24. Mike S. on January 3rd, 2011 12:21 am


  25. Mike S. on January 3rd, 2011 12:28 am

    If I find two spots, I'll park my GT next to your Sequoia. Maybe Florida Mall has them. I'll have to check. *Sorry…this is Orlando insider talk.* :)

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