Dead Birds and Fish in Arkansas: Submit Your Theories

There’s something strange going on in Arkansas. No, not that… I’m talking about this:

The town of Beebe, Arkansas suffered an eerie occurrence on New Year’s Eve last weekend: over 5,000 lifeless bird tragically fell from the sky. Impossibly, things appear to have gotten stranger in rural Arkansas as reports have surfaced of over 100,000 drum fish suddenly dying off roughly 100 miles west of the massive bird die-off.

As was reported earlier, an AP interview with an expert affiliated with the state’s Livestock and Poultry Commission suggested that the birds may have died as a result of “lightning or high-altitude hail.” Another possibility for the bird die-off? New Year’s Eve fireworks may have startled the birds so severely, that they died from stress.

But neither of these reasons would account for the massive fish die-off.

PETA to push for a fireworks ban in 3… 2… 1…

Some are calling it the End of Days, but that’s not it — that doesn’t happen until May 21st. Yes, Al Gore will say it was global warming — if he hasn’t already, and Obama will blame Bush, but what’s the real story?

A couple of things come to mind that need to be eliminated as possibilities before we can proceed with other theories. 1) Was Sarah Palin in Arkansas during the time in question? 2) As for the fish, did Rahm Emanuel ship a package to any Arkansas-based pollsters at the end of December? 3) Aren’t they always telling us there are a lot of suicides around the holidays?

So far we just can’t be sure. Until convinced otherwise I’ll just chalk this up to a weird thing called “nature”:


CNN: Birds likely died from massive trauma (I’m assuming that means aside from hitting the ground after falling).

Infowars: Government testing?


CNN: Let’s go to our expert on dead birds and fish, Kirk Cameron.

Cameron: Huh? What are you asking ME for?

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: