Alaska Police: No, Todd Palin Didn’t Screw a Masseuse Who Looks Like a Linebacker for the Seahawks

The Anchorage Police Department didn’t exactly phrase it like I did in the title, but I doubt this story will get the Palin haters to shut up about it anyway:

The Anchorage Police Department blasted the National Enquirer’s recent report that Todd Palin is embroiled in a sex scandal involving an extramarital affair with a massage therapist who belonged to a prostitution ring.

“It was just guilt by innuendo, nothing else,” Lt. Dave Parker told the Daily News on Wednesday. “There’s not one scintilla of evidence that Todd Palin had anything to do with this.”

The Enquirer claimed 36-year-old Shailey Tripp was arrested for maintaining a house of prostitution in March and that cops had confiscated physical evidence that could tie ex-Gov. Sarah Palin’s husband to the alleged affair.

Not to be cruel, but this was all the evidence I needed to see:

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Motive? Just Palin hatin’ as usual:

In explaining the bombshell allegations, Parker said some in Anchorage were just “rabidly anti-Palin,” adding “they will do anything to destroy the platform Sarah Palin is standing on.”

Good thing Sheriff Clarence “The Opportunist” Dupnik isn’t running the Anchorage PD, or else both Palins would be rotting in a cell as we speak until evidence could be manufactured.