My favorite holiday of the year is upon us, but I can’t say that without acknowledging those who are working the hardest today: cabbies and bail bondsmen. This is the day my people, and many others in solidarity, try to live up to Michael Bloomberg’s stereotype.

As usual, every St. Patrick’s Day there are eco-weenies telling us how to make our parties environmentally friendly.

Here are my suggestions on how to “green” your St. Patrick’s Day celebration:

–Vomit only in a re-usable burlap bag, and if possible share your bag with others
–Use spinach to make your beer green instead of earth-unfriendly artificial dyes
–Insist police drive you to jail in a hybrid vehicle
–Change the lock on Al Gore’s private jet so he can’t use it

Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

Update: President Obama met with Ireland’s Prime Minister and “discussed how Ireland will bounce back from economic turmoil.”

Hopefully for Ireland’s sake that discussion was about doing the exact opposite of what Obama does here.

By the way, some of Obama’s Irish relatives aren’t fans of his politics.


6 Responses to “St. Patrick’s Day: The Bar is Open”

  1. Doug on March 17th, 2011 4:03 pm

    That's classic!

    Hey, today's my son's birthday too. He's 10.

  2. nannykins on March 17th, 2011 4:18 pm

    Happy Birthday to your son!!! Ahhh to be 10 again!

  3. OK_Loyalist on March 17th, 2011 7:59 pm

    Happy St Pats Day All,

    Were my parents still with us, today would of been their 60th Anniversary.

  4. Clu Seatoe on March 17th, 2011 9:58 pm

    Happy St. Patrick’s day!

    The Barack H. Obama Elementary School in Asbury Park, New Jersey will close its doors July 1st because of low academic achievement and declining enrollment in the district's schools, according to a release from the Asbury Park State Fiscal Monitor's office.

  5. swede on March 18th, 2011 5:01 am

    This is just racist. Why is there no St Sven's or St Olie's day?

    Just another example of the oppression MY PEOPLE must endure.

  6. imoforpcs on May 2nd, 2017 3:42 pm