Joyanna Adams:Nobody Skinputs the President While Waiting for Powers to Return

Nobody’s Fool: Oh no…this is too good to be true. Just when I thought there was no help for us in controlling our politicians from spending money, Microsoft has come to save the day!
I believe dear citizens…we might have ourselves a fine solution!
 
Let me explain: Let’s set up the problem. ‘President’ Obama is planning to travel the whole month of March to different schools all over the nation. It’s really an excuse to campaign for his re-election, but he is telling the nation it’s because he cares about our kids.
 
Just the fuel cost alone with Air Force One, not to mention all the hundreds of people he has to take with him, and all the cities that have to close down, and the cost of fuel going up by the hour…and the happy hour bar expenses, and Michelle’s 47 or so assistants, should put us taxpayers out about..$4 billion. The night alone in Miami will add up to at least half. But have no fear, he just put $4 billion dollars into our educational system, which means, we are paying for his campaign.
 
Do you think that we, the taxpayers, should have to pay for President Obama to fly all over the country campaigning on our dime?
 
Did the Pilgrims cross the Atlantic on the Titanic? Did King George sign our Constitution? Do I think that Hillary’s new haircut makes her look like a cute little hippie of nineteen again?
 
So, how do we stop this man from wasting taxpayer’s money? We make sure he wears the new Microsoft SKINPUT. And then get our best hackers. Yes, you just touch yourself (Anybody want to take this one? Or should we send this one to Doug who is still in Las Vegas?) and the body’s vibrations respond to your command.
 
“Variations in bone density, size and mass, as well as filtering effects from soft tissues and joints, mean different locations are acoustically distinct”
 
Key Words: DIFFERENT LOCATIONS ARE ACOUSTICALLY DISTINCT. Hmmmmmmmm
 
We can then push that button on our hand, and the President will…stay right there in the Oval Office. Another button will fill his head with sleep. He can’t spend money if he can’t get out of bed now can he?
 
As you can see, I’m absolutely giddy with the possibilities!
 
Okay, Nobody makes this stuff up...so go here and check it out. You got any better ideas, let me know.
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Joyanna Adams sitting in for Doug Powers…who will be back soon.  joyannaadams.wordpress.com

Joyanna Adams Here: Still Punting for the Powerful Pundit

“We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed US!” –Machete the Movie.
 
The stupidest thing Lindsey Lohan has ever said. (Wait…maybe that was Jessica Alba…wait…maybe that was the Mayor of Los Angles..wait…wasn’t that Carlos Estevez?)

Nobody Knows
why anyone would want to make a movie about some guy going around loaded with giant machetes, cutting off American gringo’s heads, stirring up the Mexican’s hatred with passionate dreams about wanting to invade our country and take it as theirs.. but there you go. One must start with replacing the soon to be dead old people in the United States with young Mexican blood sometime..
 
There is a double standard here. You do NOT go into Mexico if you’re an American, and expect to live anymore. Over 35,000 have been murdered since the drug wars began, and just recently, one of our own agents, Jaime Zapata was gunned down. Nevertheless, Obama said:
 
“There are laws in place in Mexico that say that our agents should not be armed,” He describes the U.S. role south of the border as an “advisory” one. “We do not carry out law enforcement activities inside of Mexico.”
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We can use, bean bags, water pistols, naked women, gum balls, and giant pictures of Mao painted on Chinese tanks, and prayer…but not much else.
 
While we have had our eyes glued to Charlie Sheen, who is trying to get us all hook on his affordable but bog standard Charlie Sheen drug, (his kids are in rehab) Mexico is getting ready for its final invasion.
 
Oh…they are here already? You haven’t seen nothing yet.
 
Ask yourself…are you one of those mean gringo’s who do NOT want poor Mexicans driving their trucks on your local highway, spilling vast bags of corn, beans, bananas, and live chickens, onto your windshield, while your wife screams—“We’re all gonna die!?”
 
And then, do you get angry when that Mexican comes and takes YOUR job and gets his children into your colleges, sometimes for free, when you can’t even afford to send your own kids?
 
Well..look out. If you think Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush did all that NAFTA work for nothing…think again.
 
‘President’ Obama got together recently with Mexico’s President Felipe Calderon, who is getting really impatient about the NAFTA agreement for the Mexicans trucks to start coming up the American highways. In Washington, last October 15, Jose Luis Paz Vega, head of the NAFTA office at the Mexican embassy in Washington said:

“Mexico is not willing to take that anymore. We need a program that is permanent,that has certainty, and complies with NAFTA. And we`re not willing to accept anything less than that.”

Those are fighting machete words, gringo’s, and Machete Obama is intent on chopping up Arizona, and any other state that stands in his way on this. 
 
You know, the leaders of all three countries didn’t even ASK the citizens of their countries if they wanted to merge. (America, Mexico and Canada) We didn’t even get to vote on it. Maybe the Mexican people would have agreed to learn English, and an arrangement could have been made for Americans to be welcomed in Mexico—-been able to buy land, start businesses..and learn Spanish.
 
But…nooooooooooooo
 
The Mexican trucks won’t be inspected, and their drivers won’t even have to have a drivers license.
 
Holy Moly Macaroni Machete!
 
Are the teamsters the least bit mad about this? Obama promised this wouldn’t happen.
 
Well Tacos,…he lied.
 
This nobody thinks instead of our wars in Vietnam and Iraq, we should have invaded Cuba and Mexico. Mexico has oil, and Castro was a butt-head long before Gaddafi and Chavez.
 
Really, lame brains…the lot of them.
 
So muchachos…bring in the trucks, the drugs, and the illegal’s inside the trucks, and the disease, and the poverty, and the taxes…our dollar needs a bit more help to collapse it to its final resting place ..somewhere around the Alamo.
 
Nobody is going to go hide in the Everglades and farm gators.
***
Joyanna Adams ..sitting in for Doug Powers, who is, we hope, winning in Las Vegas, or at least..getting free drinks. (joyannaadams.wordpress.com)

By Now-Nobody Knows Where Mr. Powers Could Be…So, Let’s Break Some Eggs

Nobody Wins:

I am frequently asked about our system of education. I say that we have none. The trouble with our way of education as generally followed is that it does not give elasticity to the mind. It casts the brain into a mold. It insists that the child must accept. It does not encourage original thought or reasoning, and it lays more stress on memory than on observation. “  Thomas Edison, 1948.

By the way: Thomas Edison was a big believer in just looking things up. He would have LOVED the internet.
 
(Sigh)… The schools have been messed up for HOW MANY YEARS NOW?  Gee..they put calculators in our kid’s little paws in Kindergarten, god forbid they should grow up and be able to add and subtract in their head because they might realize just how much money is being stolen from them…or how much freedom they are losing.
I heard a teacher complaining the other day on the radio. Between his wife and himself, they drew in over $170,000 which he felt was just scraping by. He thought the rich should pay more. Does he realize that the “rich” are his neighbors pulling in $30,000 to $50,000 a year…and does he care?
 
Nope.

“Human beings, as they are now constituted, are unable to be very happy, because, no matter how much they have, they want more. I refer now to material things–to money and the luxuries of life.”  said Mr. Edison

(sigh) Ain’t it the truth? Houston, we have a problem….let’s break some eggs.
 
So, let’s be frank: As individuals, we would not want to part with a dime either. What is happening now is redistribution, and it stinks. The private sector is mad because the teachers either don’t realize (Can they be that stupid?..YES THEY CAN!) that it’s mostly the poorer private sector who is paying for their wonderful lifestyle, and what are we getting for it? Not too many rocket scientists.
 
It’s also not the private sector’s normal Joe on the street’s fault that Ben Bernanke and Wall Street went to Las Vegas. (Hi Doug!) Nobody went to jail now, did they? So why are we being double-sucker punched?
 
If anyone has a right to complain it’s us. (non-union people)
 
This is a very touchy subject for me, as I watch the Wisconsin Teachers Unions yelling for their rights to the American Dream in Wisconsin…leaving their jobs, abandoning the kids to stay at home, where frankly, they are probably better off at the moment— I get a little peeved. I’m sure Thomas Edison would agree. He would say, take them out of school before it’s too late.
 
The simple truth is: the teachers unions simply have to be broken. Governor Walker must not lose this fight. Just ask Bill Gates. Our 15- year- olds are 17th in science, 25th in math, and 12th in college graduation, compared to the rest of the world. The kids in Japan have computers on their buses, for heaven’s sake, and personally, the teachers are becoming so worthless, (not all of course..the good ones don’t stay do they?) maybe we should consider just letting the computers teach the kids.
 
But that’s the problem isn’t it? Most of the teachers are women, and what would they do for a living? The more jobs lost, the less to tax.
 
The unions are a racket of corruption and fraud..a big piggy bank for the Democratic Socialist dreams of taking over America, pushing out self-assured, but millions of future welfare recipients, from the cradle to the frying pan…copy and paste those little suckers to the same old crappy wall called the American Educational system.
 
This nobody thinks it makes no sense to copy and paste a system that fails us all.
 
I say we throw the whole thing out and start over.
 
Written by Joyanna Adams, sitting in for Doug….joyannaadams.wordpress.com

Joyanna Adams: Sitting in for the Powerful Wizard of Wit

Chris Matthews: It’s Groundhog Tinkle Day!  Nobody Knows which one of these three men would actually be picked to be a car bomber if they were in a police lineup, based just on his looks.
Look carefully now: If you picked the black man…you would be a racist according to our Attorney General, Eric Holder, but you also would be right.
 
The other two are well known political Ferrymen: Newt Gingrich and Chris Matthews. Chris is so upset that Newt is thinking about running for President, that he gave the best philosophical pinky-headed, razor-focused reason he could think of for why Newt should NOT run—based on his vast knowledge and astute criteria for picking a United States President….which is usually based on tinkle feelings in his legs.
 
He said this on his program:

 

MATTHEWS: But he looks like a car bomber. He looks like a car bomber. Clarence, he looks like a car bomber. (He was talking to some guy named Clarence) He’s got that crazy Mephistophelian grin of his. He looks like he loves torturing. Look at the guy! I mean this, this is not the face of a president.

Now…look again carefully: Which man looks, based on just the face, like a man who loves to torture? I’ll give you a hint: Look for ‘tinkling eyes”
 
There is a good reason Chris Matthews is losing ratings, and this is just one of the many we have to tinkle about.

Joyanna Adams Here: Sitting in for the Master of Powerful Wit…Doug Powers

Nobody’s Flashes: Louis Farrakhan, that lovable public enemy number-two, has just warned us all: “What you see happening there (Middle East) you’d better prepare, because it will be coming to your door soon.”
 
To which my baby tea party spirit says, “Oh yeah? “
 
Is it me? Didn’t that sound like a threat?
 
According to Louis Walcott, his real name, (sort of like President Barry, who also took a Muslim name)— Louis proclaims that whites are not civilized. (Come on…if Obama was a real Christian he would have run as Barry Soetoro.)
 
Farrakhan says that L. Ron Hubbard can save us, and if we hurry, we can all be as civilized as his good friend, Moo-moo Gaddhafi, or that other lovable black leader, Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe, or even Hitler, who by all accounts according to Louis, was a good man.
 
Remember the million-man marches? This nobody remembers how it was reported to be a wonderful Christian gathering for the  men to come back and be responsible for their families again. No mention back then that this guy was a die-hard Muslim/communist leader who had founded over 130 Mosques here.
 
THAT wasn’t on MSNBC.
 
Did you also know that Nation of Islam believes that white people were created from blacks 4,000 years ago on an Aegean island by a black scientist.. …ummmm…what was his name again? Caliphatitis?
 
Really, why is this guy NOT in jail somewhere picking bugs out of Charlie Mansion’s eyebrows because it’s on the record that he was behind Malcolm X’s assassination. Malcolm’s’ own daughter tried to kill him and was arrested.
 
Malcolm took the guy, trained him, and then decided that well…the Muslim religion was pretty bad stuff. Farrakhan saw an opportunity to make himself KING of the American Muslims and took it. But, that’s all history…that was before he was taken up in a UFO and enlightened about the how the Nation of Islam, hates Jews-whites-gays, and that filthy swine, Rihanna.
 
Snoop Dog on the other hand is great.
 
Our ‘President’ Obama has kept quiet on his Muslim brother..while calling the Tea Party all racists—but remember this: In 1952, President Truman started the National Day of Prayer. In 1988, President Reagan made it the first Thursday in May, In June 2007, Obama canceled the National Day of Prayer because he didn’t want to offend anybody— BUT, on September 25, 2009, the President held a National Muslim Day of Prayer next to the White House and 50,000 Muslims attended.
 
I know– my poor baby feet. The sand is getting real hot.
 
Louis now says, “The Jews want to invade Libya and start a war.”
 
Gee Louis…The war in Libya has already started from all reports, and the Jews weren’t exactly in the region. Maybe you should switch to Scientology and change your name to Louis Hubbard. That UFO might pick you up again…and hopefully take you somewhere far…far…away, to a more civilized planet, where you can make a movie called “Battlefield Earth, The Final Solution” starring Snoop Dog, and Moo-Moo Gaddafi. (Yes, take them with you.)
 
And just to show you how civilized this nobody is: on the next National Day of Prayer, I will pray for a UFO to do just exactly that. And then, we can all start concentrating on public enemy number-one.

Vegas Vacations and Other Announcements

Early Thursday morning I’ll be heading to Las Vegas for the weekend. I heard the temperature is in the low 70’s and it’s sunny, so I just couldn’t help myself.

That was the boring part — here’s the fun part: Joyanna Adams has graciously accepted my invitation to guest-blog a bit while I’m gone.

I might pop up here or on Twitter from time to time with updates or pics, and I plan on posting a little at Michelle’s place over the weekend too.

Please welcome Joyanna and enjoy the weekend. I’ll be back here full-time (or something like that) on Tuesday at some point.

I promise to share my winnings with all of you (in the Michael Moore sense of “sharing”).

Photo of the Day, Wisconsin Edition

Warning: Plug your nose before looking at this one because you can smell him through the computer:

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Hallis Mailen sleeps on Sunday in the rotunda of the Wisconsin Capitol as a round-the-clock protest continues over the proposed budget and bargaining rights. (Post-Gazette)

Welcome to the Wisconsin Capitol’s Bed & Extremely High Cholesterol Breakfast.

The union’s Capitol crash-fest is like Woodstock, but a lot fatter and without all that “peace and love” crap.

Update: No wonder Charles Rangel shows such solidarity with the union.

With Friends Like Huckabee, Obama Doesn’t Need Any Enemies

Lately, Mike Huckabee has been a one-man defense team for Michelle and Barack Obama for anything from “Let’s Move” to their religious beliefs to the issue of Obama’s citizenship, but he recently became an accidental birther:

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee suggested in a radio interview that President Barack Obama’s childhood in Kenya shaped his worldview — even though Obama did not visit Kenya until he was in his 20s.

The potential Republican presidential candidate told New York radio station WOR on Monday that Obama’s youth led him to resent the West, which he said explains why, in Huckabee’s view, Obama’s foreign policy differs so greatly from that of his predecessors.

“One thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, (is) very different than the average American,” Huckabee said, pointing to Obama’s decision in 2009 to remove a bust of former Prime Minister Winston Churchill from the Oval Office.

The Huckster’s spokesman said that Mike of course meant to say Obama gerw up in Indonesia and not Kenya.

But it was enough to make Media Matters have a mini-tizzy, which is always fun.

Navy to Name Warship After John Murtha; Haditha Marines Obviously Didn’t Get a Vote

If you live long enough, you get to see everything:

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Navy says it is forging ahead with its decision to name a warship for the late Rep. John Murtha, despite protests the decorated Vietnam War veteran was disloyal in his 2006 accusation that Marines had murdered Iraqi civilians.

Three Facebook sites opposing the Navy’s April 2010 decision bristle with thousands of angry postings. The Navy website with the announcement drew critical comments. The Washington Times voiced its outrage in an editorial entitled “Sink the Murtha.”

But the Navy says it is standing firm.

First there was ABSCAM and the dubious “King of Pork” distinction, but the man lost what was left of his credibility with this 2006 exchange with Tingles (in his pre-Tingle days) about the Haditha Marines who were on trial at the time:

CHRIS MATTHEWS, HOST: Let me ask you Mr. Murtha to give us some details about that. Draw us a picture of what happened at Haditha.

REP. JOHN “JACK” MURTHA: Well, I’ll tell you exactly what happened. One Marine was killed and the Marines just said we’re going to take care – we don’t know who the enemy is, the pressure was too much on them, so they went into houses and they actually killed civilians. And, and –

MATTHEWS:—was this My Lai? Was this a case of – when you say cold blood Congressman, a lot of people think you’re basically saying you got some civilians sitting in a room around a field and they’re executed.

MURTHA: That’s exactly it.

The Haditha Marines were exonerated and Murtha never apologized. Sure, let’s name a ship after him.

They’re calling it the “USS John P. Murtha” because “USS Accusing Marines of Cold Blooded Murder Before the Facts Were Known” seemed a bit too long.

Help Wanted: Non-Union Astroturfers to Fight for the Union

In Indiana, a union is looking to hire some protesters for astroturfing. Don’t look for the union label, though.

It’s safe to assume it’s a non-union gig because it only pays 25 cents more than Indiana’s minimum wage.

Non-union protest labor needs to organize in order to be paid a living wage from the people who claim to be fighting for the working man.