Why do people live in California?

A bill to require California public schools to teach the historical accomplishments of gay men and lesbians passed the state Legislature on Tuesday in what supporters call a first for the nation.

Governor Jerry Brown, a Democrat, has not said publicly whether he supports the bill, which he has 12 days to sign or veto once it reaches his desk later this month. If he takes no action, the measure would become law automatically.

That’s right! Kids in California may soon be learning about Patrick Henry’s brother Chaz, the first transgender of the Revolution, who is famous for regretting having “just one wanger to give for my country.” They’ll also spend class time learning all about Abraham Lincoln’s pioneering Social Secretary, “Mr. Leon,” who begged Lincoln to use the phrase “two snaps up” in the Gettysburg address but was overruled due to prevailing homophobia of the day.

Will kids be able to read and do math? Who cares! Actually, given California’s financial situation, the government prefers citizens who can’t read or do math — but dammit they’ll know Harvey Milk’s inseam measurement!


15 Responses to “California Lawmakers Address Crushing Debt by Passing Bill to Teach Gay History in Public Schools”

  1. SignPainterGuy on July 6th, 2011 1:30 pm

    Just a guess, but by all indications, if Cali hadn`t stepped into the pink fire first, NY or Mass. would have !

    "..they`ll know Harvey Milk`s inseam measurement." My first "time card" job was at a new SEARS store in their paint dept. It took a while to staff all depts., so I got moved around quite a bit. The Garden Shop was cool – everybody likes plants and flowers and lawn tractors, Right ? Once in a while they put me in Hdw. and Tools – oh, yeah, "Please leave me here !" My first week, a supervisor came by and said I might have to fill in a couple hrs in……..Men`s Clothes. I told her, "I`ll do it, but if I have to measure someone`s inseam, I`m gonna be….not happy !" She assured me that rarely happens since clothes-sizing was so much better now days. Within an hour I was measuring an inseam.. (shaking head)

  2. Marshall_Will on July 6th, 2011 1:30 pm

    "If he takes no action, the measure would become law automatically."

    Figures. I absolutely don't GET this! No… not "Mr. Leon" but the fact that if it wasn't for Federal Bailouts of the States ( CA, IL and NY in particular ) they'd be effectively INSOLVENT!

    Look, when you run your business into the ground siphoning off what were legit profits into the usual pitfalls ( Hookers & Blow ) you go into Receivership! You lost the right to make decisions that affect the business! Your CREDITORS are now calling the shots. As it -should- be.

    Right now the only "decisions" these States should be making is what they're gonna' DO to get out of the "engineered crisis" of their own making and how they're going to pay us BACK!

  3. Granny55 on July 6th, 2011 1:59 pm

    I know there are a few good conservatives in California but the only way we can rid ourselves of this crap is a good old fashioned earthquake where the whole state just falls off into the ocean taking the freak show with it.

  4. cdl on July 6th, 2011 2:05 pm

    There's always been sexual predators and perverts among the worlds historical figures. The ancient Romans and Greeks had their fair share of sexual deviancy. And there's always the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.

    The problem is that those sexual deviancies will now become resume enhancers for the world's historical figures.

    "Alexander the Great was a brilliant conquerer of many lands because he wanted to spread his unique sense of fashion."

  5. Marshall_Will on July 6th, 2011 3:58 pm

    "because he wanted to spread his unique sense of fashion."

    Golden, freaking golden. Like being in Borders or any other book chain. "Model Railroading ( A Gay perspective! )"

    If God forbid a sole proprietor ( which is the simplest business formation entity ) fell behind to his creditors! Let alone a publicly traded corp. When you file for BK, it's OVER. You're not running JACK.

    If SPG were into his creditors for major bucks.., he can't just go say "I'm having a buy (1) sign get two FREE!" sale. His creditors would have a fit. Same goes for brainf@rts like throwing all kinds of money like "coming up w/ some new RAD designs".

    Doug and Michelle constantly address the Clown Nose On/Clown Nose Off nature of Olby/Stewart etc. Well this is what the STATES are doing. They want all the latitude of the pvt. sector BUT ( with taxpayer funding to back them up ) Well no more.

  6. Obama bin Biden on July 6th, 2011 2:17 pm

    Gay history, eh? Like when Mr.Sulu wanted to see the Captain's log?

  7. Dexter_Alarius on July 6th, 2011 2:44 pm

    What topics will NOT be taught while the kids learn about this? I'm guessing once they graduate they'll be saying things like "Thomas Edison who? Oh, is he one of those dead white guys?"____Lord Jesus. Is it time yet?

  8. backwoods on July 6th, 2011 3:00 pm

    It sounds like they're trying to solve their budget crisis by collecting $3 bills.

  9. SignPainterGuy on July 6th, 2011 3:12 pm

    Do you recall which pres. was featured on the $3. bill ?

  10. backwoods on July 6th, 2011 3:17 pm

    The $3 bill I have has Bill Clinton's picture on it.

  11. SignPainterGuy on July 6th, 2011 7:03 pm

    Okay, since you admitted to having one, mine too ! 😉

  12. Ken in Texas on July 6th, 2011 3:40 pm

    At one point during my military career I was assigned temporary duty to participate in a training exercise with units of the Greek Army. It was an uncomfortable six days after I found out that the motto of the Greek Army is "We Never Leave Our Buddies Behind".

  13. Marshall_Will on July 6th, 2011 3:51 pm


    Sounds like about 5 days too long? What year was this? Just curious.

    And just LOOK how well the Greeks are doing… 'for', themselv..?

  14. Granny55 on July 6th, 2011 6:46 pm

    OMG – we were up north this past weekend and the neighbor lent his cottage to one of his business partners who is Greek. He brought his whole family including his brother. They were laying on the dock and one brother had his head resting on the other ones back!!!! Ewwwwwwww!!!!

  15. SignPainterGuy on July 6th, 2011 7:08 pm

    Hey, give them a break…. the family that lays together, ….uh…..oh, never mind !

    I thought about you over the weekend, hoping y`all were having a great time ! Guessing it was a tad less than hoped ?

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