Why do people live in California?
A bill to require California public schools to teach the historical accomplishments of gay men and lesbians passed the state Legislature on Tuesday in what supporters call a first for the nation.
Governor Jerry Brown, a Democrat, has not said publicly whether he supports the bill, which he has 12 days to sign or veto once it reaches his desk later this month. If he takes no action, the measure would become law automatically.
That’s right! Kids in California may soon be learning about Patrick Henry’s brother Chaz, the first transgender of the Revolution, who is famous for regretting having “just one wanger to give for my country.” They’ll also spend class time learning all about Abraham Lincoln’s pioneering Social Secretary, “Mr. Leon,” who begged Lincoln to use the phrase “two snaps up” in the Gettysburg address but was overruled due to prevailing homophobia of the day.
Will kids be able to read and do math? Who cares! Actually, given California’s financial situation, the government prefers citizens who can’t read or do math — but dammit they’ll know Harvey Milk’s inseam measurement!