Obama Says Economy Suffered Heart Attack, Plans to Prescribe Trans-Fat Drip for Cure

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The only thing the economy has going for it is that it suffered a heart attack before Obamacare fully kicked in:

US President Barack Obama on Tuesday said that the US economy had suffered a “heart attack” and survived but is not recuperating quickly enough, as he geared up to unveil a major jobs plan.
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“This is a situation where the economy essentially had a heart attack, and the patient lived, and the patient is getting better, but it’s getting better very slowly.”

The bad news is that Dr. Obama is about to put our heart attack victim on a steady diet of double cheeseburgers and pork rinds dipped in lard until it fully recovers.

Obama says the economy is getting better, but actually it just slipped into another coma.

Let the Speculation Continue: After Iowa Speech, Palin Heads to New Hampshire; Update: Palin Pulls Out of Iowa Speech?

On Saturday, Sarah Palin will headline a Tea Party event in Iowa, and it’s just been announced that shortly after that she’ll head to New Hampshire:

(CNN) – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will celebrate Labor Day in the first-in-the-nation primary state of New Hampshire.

The 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee will attend a Tea Party Express rally in Manchester on Monday, the same day former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney was due to attend the event.

If by Tuesday morning Palin still hasn’t announced, then she’s not running. I’m still giving it 50/50 odds that she’ll run, but I’m leaning towards no. Rove thinks she’s going to run.

I’ll be offline from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon to I’ll miss Palin’s Iowa speech Saturday, but I’ll put up an open thread that morning so if Sarah does jump into the fray — or doesn’t — we can talk about it here.

For that Saturday event, Christine O’Donnell was invited, uninvited, and now re-invited.

Update: Concerning Palin’s appearance at the Tea Party event in Iowa — not so fast:

Sarah Palin’s Saturday appearance at a tea party rally in Indianola, Iowa, is on hold, a person close the former Alaska governor told The Wall Street Journal.

Sarah Palin The person said Ms. Palin’s appearance was “no longer confirmed” and cited “continual lying” from event organizers at Tea Party of America, including a recent mixup over whether former U.S. Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell of Delaware would also speak.

Update II: Re-confirmed?

Your Tax Dollars at Work: Seattle Spends $1.4 Million Per ‘Green Job’

Hey, let’s “green” the entire economy!

Fox News:

A green jobs program in one of America’s greenest cities is being called a bust 16 months after a $20 million federal grant to weatherize homes in Seattle ended up putting just 14 people to work in mostly administrative jobs and upgrading only three homes in the area.

“The jobs are not there,” Todd Myers, who wrote the book “Eco Fads,” told Fox News. “So we’re training people for jobs that don’t exist.”

Seattle is not alone. The Department of Energy has allocated $508 million to 41 states for its Better Buildings Neighborhood Program and 600 jobs have been created or retained.

Money quote (literally) from Seattle’s Mayor:

Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn says it’s too early to declare the program a failure.

“We may have to adjust how we market it and the incentives we provide,” McGinn said. “Nobody has really cracked the green jobs code.”

That code was cracked a long time ago: It’s a scam!

And expect more of the same from Obama’s next “jobs plan.” Although I fully expect that “plan” to be so ridiculous that it’ll never get through the House. That way Obama can use the “I tried to fix the economy but the Republicans wouldn’t let me” angle on the campaign trail, even though rapidly diminishing numbers of people are buying that one.

Businesses Say California’s ‘War on Styrofoam Terror’ Could Cost Them

The eco-weenies on the California legislature will respond to these concerns by saying, “More evidence that American business hates the environment.”

From the Boston Globe:

SACRAMENTO – Restaurant owner Gary Honeycutt says a push in California’s Legislature to ban the plastic foam containers he uses to serve up takeout meals could cost him thousands of dollars in an industry where profit margins are razor thin.

BJ’s Kountry Kitchen, in the heart of California’s farm country, uses about 26,000 of the 9-inch foam clamshells a year, mostly for takeout by the customers who come in for the restaurant’s popular breakfast omelets.

“We put cheese on those omelets. And when we put the cheese on, it’s really hot and bubbly and it goes right through the biodegradable stuff,’’ he said. He said he expects his costs would more than double if the state requires him to use only biodegradable cartons.

The bill by state Senator Alan Lowenthal, a Democrat, would prohibit restaurants, grocery stores, and other vendors from dispensing food in expanded polystyrene containers beginning in 2016.

If signed into law, the measure would make California the first to institute a statewide ban on such containers.

It’ll harm the state’s economy, which is already mortally wounded, and why? To save the world from global warming using a method that might be worse than the original problem:

Research from North Carolina State University shows that so-called biodegradable products are likely doing more harm than good in landfills, because they are releasing a powerful greenhouse gas as they break down.

“Eco-loons: Proudly promoting the Law of Unintended Consequences since the 1970.”

Obligatory clip: George Carlin on “saving the planet” from styrofoam and plastic bags:

NYT Op-Ed: Should ‘Ugly’ Be a Protected Class?

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There’s another op-ed in the New York Times that gives The Onion a run for its money. The column is entitled, “Ugly? You May Have a Case.” In it, the author, a professor of economics (naturally) at the University of Texas, Austin, argues that it’s time for ugly people to be recognized as a protected minority:

Why this disparate treatment of looks in so many areas of life? It’s a matter of simple prejudice. Most of us, regardless of our professed attitudes, prefer as customers to buy from better-looking salespeople, as jurors to listen to better-looking attorneys, as voters to be led by better-looking politicians, as students to learn from better-looking professors. This is not a matter of evil employers’ refusing to hire the ugly: in our roles as workers, customers and potential lovers we are all responsible for these effects.

How could we remedy this injustice? With all the gains to being good-looking, you would think that more people would get plastic surgery or makeovers to improve their looks. Many of us do all those things, but as studies have shown, such refinements make only small differences in our beauty. All that spending may make us feel better, but it doesn’t help us much in getting a better job or a more desirable mate.

A more radical solution may be needed: why not offer legal protections to the ugly, as we do with racial, ethnic and religious minorities, women and handicapped individuals?

Making “ugly” a protected class? Now there’s a law that would sail through that freakshow of a Congress we have.

Life on this earth will never truly be fair until that day when ugly people — people so ugly that when they were born the doctor slapped their parents… people so ugly that their mothers had to get drunk to breast feed them… people so ugly that strip clubs pay them to put their clothes on… people so ugly that when they were kids their fathers took them to work every day so they didn’t have to kiss them goodbye… people so ugly that when they visit the haunted house they’re handed job applications — can take those bags off their heads and shout from every mountaintop, acne ointment aisle at Wal-Mart, Star Wars convention or NOW meeting, “free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last!”

Completely Unbiased Headline of the Day

Politico really needs to stop beating around the bush, so to speak:

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Imagine Politico writing such a thing about, say, Joe Biden — And if there’s every somebody who cries out for that headline, it’s the Sheriff of Stimulusville. Heck, maybe even President Obama is more worthy of that headline than Rick Perry — the dumbest presidential candidate in all 58 states.

Politico has a track record of parroting the “Republicans are dumb” DNC talking point while at the same time the left parades a collection of some of the most failed doofuses ever to have set foot in Washington and the MSM considers them geniuses.

Update: Michelle M’s opinion of all this:

(h/t JWF)

Man Reported to be Obama’s Illegal Alien Uncle Arrested for DWI in Massachusetts; Wanted to Call White House

We know Barack Obama is, in many ways, another Jimmy Carter, but Obama’s family certainly has a lot more Billys in it than Carter’s did.

Washington Times:

A number of media outlets have already reported that an illegal immigrant from Kenya by the name of Onyango Obama, 67, was arrested last week on Wednesday after he rammed his SUV into a police car in Framingham, Massachusetts.

He was later charged with DUI among other violations. I spoke to Framingham Public Information Officer Lieutenant Delaney who told me that when Onyango Obama was asked at booking if he wanted to make a telephone call to arrange for bail, the Kenyan immigrant replied: “I think I will call the White House.”

It should be noted that the Times of London highlighted an Onyango Obama during the 2008 presidential campaign.

And that was last week, when Obama was on Martha’s Vineyard. So not only is Obama’s alleged uncle in the country illegally, but he doesn’t pay attention to the news whatsoever. The fact that the guy could even get a drivers license (presumably he has one) is a travesty enough. I wonder if he’s voted too.

Metrowest Daily has more, but no mention that the “illegal immigrant” in question is probably the president’s uncle:

Obama failed several field sobriety tests and was arrested. At the police station, Obama failed a Breathalyzer test, registering .14. The state legal limit is .08.

Obama was charged with driving under the influence of liquor and driving to endanger. He was also cited for not using a turn signal.

Obama has a federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement warrant for his arrest. ICE has previously ordered him to be deported back to Kenya.

So, deportation waivers all around then?

Previously we got to know Obama’s Auntie Zeituni, who carries the entitlement mentality torch with great pride.

It certainly isn’t difficult to see where the president gets his soft spot for illegal aliens, is it?

Irene: The Perfect Storm of Hype?

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This morning while flipping between CNN, Fox News and some of the network shows, there was a collective media letdown as predictions were revised downward to match the reality of a storm that was incapable of matching the apocalyptic hype:

There was almost palpable disappointment among the TV big guns rolled out for the occasion when Irene was downgraded to a mere ‘tropical storm”. In New York city, CNN’s silver-haired Anderson Cooper, more usually seen in a tight t-shirt in a famine or war zone, was clad in what one wag dubbed “disaster casual”.

He looked crestfallen fell briefly silent when a weatherwoman told him that the rain was not going to get any worse. “Wow, because this isn’t so bad,” he said. “It’s an annoying rain but it isn’t even a sideways rain.”
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For politicians, Irene was a chance to either make amends or appear in control. The White House sent out 25 Irene emails to the press on Saturday alone.

There were photographs of President Barack Obama touring disaster centres and footage of him asking sombre, pertinent questions. With his poll ratings plummeting, Obama needed to project an aura of seriousness and command. He was all too aware that the political fortunes of his predecessor George W. Bush never recovered after the Hurricane Katrina disaster of 2005.

The press mostly reported the message the White House had carefully crafted: “Obama takes charge” read the headline of one wire service story.

When it hit the Jersey shore, Irene unfortunately wasn’t even powerful enough to wash Snooki out to sea.

That said, the storm wasn’t nothing — people died and there will be billions of dollars of damage — but the real danger in over-hyping is that the next time it might be the real deal, and fewer people will pay attention.

We’ll see what the damage from this ends up being, but I for one slept better last night knowing that Chief Meteorologist Obama was on the job.

Of Course: Hurricane Irene Caused by Global Warming; Update: Also Caused by Republicans

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Al Gore is going to be very busy pulling the puppet strings on his AGW bots all day:

Hurricane Irene hadn’t even made landfall in the United States before some people figured out what to blame it on.

“Irene’s got a middle name, and it’s Global Warming,” environmental activist Bill McKibben wrote Thursday night in The Daily Beast. He argued that this year’s hot Atlantic Ocean temperatures and active spree of hurricanes — coupled with droughts, floods and melting sea ice elsewhere on the globe — are “what climate change looks like in its early stages.”

Besides, “what’s a ‘tropical’ storm doing heading for the snow belt?” asked McKibben. He also said the storm represented bad timing for the Obama administration’s favorable environmental impact statement on TransCanada’s proposed Keystone XL pipeline, which environmentalists label a danger to the Earth’s climate.

These people really are self parodies.

What’s a tropical storm doing heading for the snow belt? I don’t know… what was one doing heading for the snow belt over 70 years ago?

New York City and Long Island have been hit by nine previous hurricanes from 1858 to 1991, according to NOAA records, including the disastrous 1938 storm known as the Long Island Express. And the deadliest hurricane in U.S. history struck 111 years ago — the 1900 storm that killed an estimated 8,000 people in Galveston, Texas.

In other global warming news, Al Gore wants you to give up your meaty diet — probably so there’s more left for him. Yeah, when you look at Jabba the Nut the first thing you think is “vegan.” Oh, and if you don’t agree with Al Gore, you’re also a racist… or something. That from the guy whose father voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964?

Will this fraud ever go away?

As for Hurricane Irene, I see Janet Napolitano on TV now, so if you’re in the path of the storm and are comforted by that fact, you don’t know nearly enough about J-Nap.

Update: The hurricane is also caused by Republicans — but that goes without saying, since Republicans cause global warming.