Obama Says Economy Suffered Heart Attack, Plans to Prescribe Trans-Fat Drip for Cure

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The only thing the economy has going for it is that it suffered a heart attack before Obamacare fully kicked in:

US President Barack Obama on Tuesday said that the US economy had suffered a “heart attack” and survived but is not recuperating quickly enough, as he geared up to unveil a major jobs plan.
[…]
“This is a situation where the economy essentially had a heart attack, and the patient lived, and the patient is getting better, but it’s getting better very slowly.”

The bad news is that Dr. Obama is about to put our heart attack victim on a steady diet of double cheeseburgers and pork rinds dipped in lard until it fully recovers.

Obama says the economy is getting better, but actually it just slipped into another coma.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.