I’ll bet your grandfather never thought of this when he was digging the family nuke shelter in the backyard 1953… or maybe he did for all I know:

LOS ANGELES (CBS) — A San Fernando Valley adult entertainment studio began construction this month on what it calls a “post-apocalyptic” underground bunker in anticipation of a global catastrophe rumored to take place in late 2012.

A spokesman for Van Nuys-based Pink Visual said the bunker will be “far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave” with amenities such as multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and a sophisticated content production studio.

“Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury,” said Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer.

I think The Onion was the first to propose a similar idea.

Reports say the adult entertainment apocalypse shelter will hold 1,200 to 1,500 people. On the downside, you’ll have to live our your remaining years locked in a bunker watching Charlie Sheen tuck $50 bills into the g-string of a stripper named Gigi Geigercounter.

Comments

11 Responses to “2 Things Will Survive a Nuclear Holocaust: Cockroaches and Porn”

  1. Dexter_Alarius on September 15th, 2011 2:49 pm

    Well, if you've gotta repopulate the planet for the survival of the species, you might as well film it and make some jack.
    Now playing: Adam Baum and Trinity Testzeit in "Megaton Missile".

  2. swede on September 15th, 2011 3:03 pm

    The Cub Scout manual ca '62 had a super cool plan for a back yard fallout shelter. Seemed prudent to me since we were doing Civil Defense drills at school for the eventuality of a nuclear attack. On que – get under your desk – do not look out the window – crawl (single file/alphabetical order) into the hallway – sit with your back to the brick wall – put your head between your knees… and of course our added final instruction – and kiss your arse goodbye.

    Moreover, such a shelter would of course make an awesome fort and HQ for the Army of Hackett's Hollow (No Krauts or Japs survived in our woods). For some reason my dad could not see the imperitive wisdom of such a shelter. Sigh. These creeps' wisdom has less merit than ours did. “Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury.” Um…then what, geniuses?

  3. Hyperfobea on September 15th, 2011 3:27 pm

    Sounds like the same paradise awaiting jihadists.

  4. Dexter_Alarius on September 15th, 2011 3:33 pm

    Except, something tells me there won't be 72 virgins in this shelter. It's just a hunch, though.

  5. Granny55 on September 15th, 2011 3:48 pm

    I'll bet Bill Clinton has already made his reservation!!!

  6. clu seatoe on September 15th, 2011 4:10 pm

    Mecca be damned, this year our hajj is headed for Van Nuys, CA.

  7. patti on September 15th, 2011 6:15 pm

    Hello Doug….
    I want to report HUGE problems at MM's.
    Very difficult to get onto her site.
    If I get on, sometimes comments post, other times not, or there is a delay.
    This is similar to resent problems, but much worse this time.
    Thanks, Doug

  8. Doug on September 15th, 2011 6:29 pm

    I've been in touch with the tech guys and Michelle knows about it too. I don't know what the progress is as far as fixing it goes or what the problem is, but it is being addressed!

    Thanks much, and hopefully it's back to full function soon!

  9. SignPainterGuy on September 15th, 2011 7:28 pm

    Michelle was just on Hannity`s radio show. She was right-on as usual and very well prepared. Maybe now she`ll have time to fix her site ! ;-)

  10. Charles on September 25th, 2012 12:21 am

    I sure hope some humans and house inspections in melbourne will become number 3 and 4 on that list. I can't imagine how a world of roaches would look like.

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