Kim Jong Il’s son — I think his name’s Skippy — was officially declared “Supreme Leader” today, and he’s already issued his first threat to attack South Korea. How cute. Papa would be so proud:

Kim Jong-un, who was declared Supreme Leader of North Korea yesterday, issued his first terrifying threat of war today.

North Korea may “smash the stronghold of the puppet forces” in the South in retaliation for “hideous crimes” committed during the mourning period for Kim Jong-il.

Threats of war from Kim Jong-un’s father, though terrifying, were routine. His father threatened and attacked the South multiple times, but he never started a war or launched a nuclear offensive or used his artillery force to devastate Seoul.

Unfortunately, no one knows what to expect from the 28-year-old Kim Jong-un. We hope he’s just making noise to show people he’s not to be messed with.

Just to be safe, the United Nations has suggested that South Korea surrender unconditionally.


23 Responses to “Kim Jong Il’s Son Skippy Jong Il Issues First Threat Against South Korea”

  1. Joe Redfield on December 30th, 2011 5:31 pm

    It won't be long before Kim Jong-Carter suggests the US surrender unconditionally, as well.

  2. backwoodsconsr on December 30th, 2011 5:33 pm

    Cheeky little snot, isn't he? I suggest the United States make it very clear to that tempestuous youth that if he doesn't mind his manners he'll be subject to a visit from Jimmy Carter.

  3. Phineas Fahrquar on December 30th, 2011 5:37 pm

    I believe France already has surrendered.

  4. Marshall_Will on December 30th, 2011 6:39 pm

    "for “hideous crimes” committed during the mourning period for Kim Jong-il."

    You mean for having electricity and the audacity to use it? … Does this make Doug Charles Munson?

  5. clu seatoe on December 30th, 2011 7:32 pm

    It’s a hideous crime that we that are left behind still have to contend with the ill putrid puddle of the memory of Jong Il and now must continue contending with his ill-namesake progeny that lived. But, on the other hand it also means that his ill influence on the people of North Korea continues to heap his eternal punishment worse and worse upon his eternal soul.

    South Korea should give this little off sprung chub-ster a good bitch-slap and deal with it once and for all. Like Iran, they’ve been given no real incentive to change.

  6. SignPainterGuy on December 30th, 2011 8:35 pm

    The NORK leadership finds itself in a quandary; how to explain to the people why their messiah died in the first place, since he did die, why god hasn`t resurrected him, why JR isn`t a messiah in replacement ?!

    Yes indeed, the "little off-sprung chubster" needs a GOOD bitch-slappin` ! I love the Carter references ! The UN at most would warn S.K. and the U.S. not to harass the chubster !

  7. Pasadena Phil on December 30th, 2011 9:19 pm

    His older brother was denied the job because he was deemed too effeminate. This is what passes for manliness in North Korea? Yeesh!

  8. SignPainterGuy on December 30th, 2011 10:24 pm

    It`s all "relative" ! (you knew that was coming) ;-)

    You just know he prevented school house beatings in Europe by announcing he was the son of Kim Jong-Il !

  9. Marshall_Will on December 30th, 2011 11:27 pm

    Shouldn't one have lost their baby fat by 28?

    Here's my take; like Mao, this assclown couldn't get laid in a whorehouse. So they have to -bring- girls to him. Afterwords, they are told they must be killed so as not to expose the boy king's sexual incometence.

    Then the girls say, don't bother, I'll kill MYSELF!

  10. SignPainterGuy on December 31st, 2011 12:01 am

    "Shouldn`t one have lost their baby fat by 28 ?"

    Only if one is not treated as a baby all his life by directing all the nation`s luxurious foods (?) toward him ! And never doing a days hard work, EVER !

    Gotta worry about those girls !

  11. cdl on December 31st, 2011 12:33 am

    Okay, Doug. Which one of those photos was the doctored one? I think it's the one on the left.

  12. Marshall_Will on December 31st, 2011 6:28 pm

    Touche` Sir… touche`…

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