The Obama administration has called on the Pentagon to find $259 billion in cuts over the next five years.

With that kind of financial hit, some of our weapons systems will be affected and need to be adjusted accordingly. Today, President Obama tested something that could be standard issue for our warriors in the field in this era of military austerity: The Marshmallow Cannon:

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This is why Obama played the role of assignment editor today to get the word out. He wants China, North Korea and Iran to know that they are now officially on notice (from the looks of Kim Jong Un though, he’d probably beg to have marshmallows shot at him):

Comments

35 Responses to “Obama Tests New Weaponry for US Military Use After Pentagon Budget Cuts Take Effect”

  1. backwoodsconsr on February 7th, 2012 8:21 pm

    Is the marshmallow cannon more powerful than spitballs?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C58YAONY_hE

  2. SignPainterGuy on February 7th, 2012 8:33 pm

    Spud guns are popular around here. Made of PVC pipe, fueled by hair spray and sparked by gas grill lighters, no stop sign or bill board is safe ! The gun barrel can be sized to launch anything from radishes to grapefruit. Far lighter and cheaper than Oblamer`s mushmaller launcher ! More destructive, too !

  3. Granny55 on February 7th, 2012 8:58 pm

    Yup – that's the road we are headed down.

  4. Marshall_Will on February 7th, 2012 9:25 pm

    Here's the problem they ( or our FUTURE ) president is going to come UP against!

    In spite of all the stereotypes, there really is no further, easy low-hanging fruit they can trim on the Personnel side? No legions of aging and overweight Sarge's they can put out to pasture and garner immediate benefits.

    There ARE however countless "defense analysts", bundlers, lobbyists and armies of technocrats all ensconced in and along the Beltway that can and probably SHOULD be cut, even if we were under attack on our own soil.

    In an effort to explain the scale to the troops an NCO like myself would come in contact w/ everyday; "Imagine wearing each and every uniform you are issued, only [once]! Wear it for the day, then drop it off for incineration. When you can get your mind wrapped around that, then you can BEGIN to grasp the Fraud, Waste and Abuse that takes place in the halls of power".

  5. SignPainterGuy on February 7th, 2012 9:38 pm

    I`m surprised Zel Miller didn`t meet an untimely, suspicious end after his betrayal to the dem party !

  6. Jimbo on February 7th, 2012 9:55 pm

    They were organic, fat-free, sugar-free, high fiber marshmallows, crammed with contraceptives and shot right down the throats of faithful Catholics.

  7. backwoodsconsr on February 7th, 2012 10:18 pm

    They knew better. That old country boy don't waste his time with piddling little weaponry like spitballs. And even at his age he's probably no slouch hand to hand.

  8. OK_Loyalist on February 7th, 2012 10:33 pm

    Wooo hooo,

    The Powder Puff Prez shoots a Marshmallow gun

  9. SignPainterGuy on February 7th, 2012 10:44 pm

    I was thinking more along the lines of suicide; a type-written note, 2 taps to the head, but no gun to be found !

  10. backwoodsconsr on February 7th, 2012 10:51 pm

    I know, but it would have been suicide for them to try it. Hmmm…..maybe they did try and we just don't know it.

  11. backwoodsconsr on February 7th, 2012 10:57 pm

    He had to find something to do with the marshmallows. Meanchelle won't let him eat them.

  12. clu seatoe on February 7th, 2012 11:03 pm

    According to Zero a planned expenditure that is put on hold is a cut so it shouldn’t be difficult for the pentagon.

    It’s like, I was planning to purchase a new Range Rover this year but I put it off till later so I cut my expenses by $57k this year. Last year I wanted the fully loaded Town Car but put it off so I cut my expenses by $64k. It works with jobs and unemployment too.

  13. OK_Loyalist on February 7th, 2012 11:07 pm

    Think of the photo op if that thing backfired and blew Marshmallow all over his face.

  14. Joe Redfield on February 7th, 2012 11:12 pm

    I hear the mainstream media invented this for use by their reporters at news conferences, but it must not have worked well enough: El President hasn't had one in three years.

  15. backwoodsconsr on February 7th, 2012 11:16 pm

    Oh, the horror! That would have turned him into a white president.

  16. SignPainterGuy on February 7th, 2012 11:33 pm

    Filed under: You just can`t never always sometimes tell ! `Cause nobody`s tellin` !

  17. Marshall_Will on February 8th, 2012 12:03 am

    Clu,

    Thrifty you, a picture of fiscal discipline! Point being, some of the most vocal are the svc. mbrs. themselves. DC is literally throwing money on the fire like chocking a fledgling 'spark' of kindling and twigs w/ a tree trunk.

    GOOD officers are having their careers thrown under the bus at 18 years and several branches are confronting "force shaping" yet the spending ORGY continues in DC unabated.

  18. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 2:05 pm

    I work for the DoD as a civilian and I can tell you there is plenty of dead weight that can be cut. In just my small department I know of one person that should have been let go (and would have been if this was the private sector). The job of the rest of the people in my department is made harder as we spend more than half of our time fixing this persons mistakes. It is not that she is lazy she just does not seem to be able to grasp how to do the work. Of course she will never be let go as she is a minority (hispanic woman) and she is a union member (at the Fed level union membership is by choice). My department is the only department in the entire hospital that actually brings money into the hospital (we bill 3rd party insurance under USC title 10). That money is used to fund a lot of the work being done for our wounded warriors. The sad thing is we would be able to bring in so much more money for the troops if we did not have her slowing us down.

  19. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 2:06 pm

    Another area that could be cut is the CYA paperwork. The amount of paper and ink (not to mention wear and tear on the printers) just for CYA paperwork is astounding.

  20. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 2:09 pm

    And the good news is it will only cost another $1 trillion to retrofit all of our air, land, and sea craft with this cannon…./sarc

  21. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 2:10 pm

    Let me guess. The new Obama motto for warfare will be:

    "winning their hearts and minds one marshmallow at a time"

  22. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 2:11 pm

    Obama figured out he would have more time to shred the Constitution if he just mass distributed his talking points to the media via email.

  23. SignPainterGuy on February 8th, 2012 3:44 pm

    My Sister is in Medicare Admin. in MS. She would agree with you ! LOTS of CYA ! Her older Son is also in DoD, but he more than carries his own weight … and some others !

  24. SignPainterGuy on February 8th, 2012 4:09 pm

    Heh heh , Except that Zero must think it would actually work, this reminds me of Key West, FL. They attempted to secede from the union, but it was quickly put down without gunfire or injuries. To this day, some of the residents stage annual mock battles with the Coast Guard. They parade in boats and throw ….. loaf bread at the Coasties ! I think I saw it on "How the States Got Their Shapes".

  25. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 4:43 pm

    That tends to be the case. The few carry the many….welcome to goverment work.

  26. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 4:46 pm

    LOL…you know what would have made a great side by side comparison? That picture of Obama shooting the marshmallow 2000 and the picture of Sarah Palin shooting an M4 in Kuwait.
    http://us4palin.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/sa

  27. SignPainterGuy on February 8th, 2012 5:05 pm

    A few decades ago the saying was, "Never before have so few done so much for so many with so little; the American Farmer !"

    One of many things I like about small biz that isn`t gov. controlled or union organized, this deadwood gets FIRED !

  28. Truesoldier__ on February 8th, 2012 5:24 pm

    Years ago I used to manager a store down in Portland, OR. We never fired anyone as the paperwork and potential for a friviolous lawsuit were too much. Instead we would continually cut the employees hours down until they got the hint and quit. All this was due to over regulation by the L&I department.

  29. casinos on May 25th, 2012 7:55 am

    Easy justification and a rally point for the easily led masses of course they can't continue on, and they know it but the worst part.

  30. gafas carrera on May 28th, 2012 5:46 am

    This year but I put it off till later so I cut my expenses by $57k this year. Last year I wanted the fully loaded Town Car but put it off so I cut my expenses by $64k. It works with jobs and unemployment too.

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  34. Austin Texas MLS on August 4th, 2012 9:35 am

    The gun barrel can be sized to launch anything from radishes to grapefruit. Far lighter and cheaper than Oblamer`s mushmaller launcher ! More destructive, too .

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