Michael Moore, noted member of the **99 percent, took to Twitter to say what will happen when he is elected president. Hard to believe “free pizza will be a human right” didn’t make the cut.

I’m confused though, because after all those campaign promises, Moore went on to prevent himself from ever qualifying for office:

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Moore also pledged to let any and all Occupiers crash at his Torch Lake vacation mansion when he’s president. Wait, no he didn’t — nevermind.

**Body fat content

Comments

9 Responses to “If Michael Moore Were President”

  1. backwoodsconsr on March 13th, 2012 1:17 pm

    I weigh over 250 lbs. and I could beat that idiot in a 100 yard dash.

    He's running a risk asking for a paper ballot. He might absentmindedly use it for a napkin.

  2. Joe Redfield on March 13th, 2012 2:02 pm

    If Michael More were President the population of Canada would quintuple overnight.

  3. Marshall_Will on March 13th, 2012 2:40 pm

    There's 1/4 Ton of lean, mean fightin' machine and then there's Half O' Ton of not so fun?

    Just amazed Moore doesn't show up on the various Dead Pools. And how hypocritical. If we're going to bow to Let's Move, The Food 'Safety' Act of 2010, countless Nanny proposals along w/ 'free' healthcare, why aren't Libs on Michael's case about being morbidly obese?

  4. Jimbo on March 13th, 2012 2:43 pm

    And then eat the napkin.

  5. backwoodsconsr on March 13th, 2012 2:47 pm

    A napkin is a terrible thing to waist.

  6. JetHeadJoe on March 13th, 2012 3:06 pm

    99% body fat all right…the vast majority of it being between his ears, which of course, helps to explain why Michael Mooreon is so dense…

  7. Marshall_Will on March 13th, 2012 8:39 pm

    JHJ,

    The man has to positively -slosh- while he walks. Fun fitness stuff to *really* blow your mind! In order to consider yourself 'fit' ( according to Men's Health mag ) at Over 50 a Male should be able to:

    Bench 1.5 X your weight ( Good luck Michael )
    Run 1.5 Miles in 10 mins. ( You're kidding right? )
    Vertical Leap of at -least- 20" ( The floor couldn't take it )
    Leg Press 2.25 X your weight
    Swim 700 yds. in 12 mins.
    40 Push-ups

    You get the idea. Moore is better suited to maybe an 'eating' contest? He gets a pass from Libs tho' cuzz he did a mockumentary on how Cuba has a better health sys.

  8. Fuzzlenutter on March 14th, 2012 11:09 am

    You've gotta wonder if this fat, flabby, and disgusting "Capitalism-For-Me-Communism-For-Thee" slob ever even think about losing weight?

    Hey Moochele, why don't you get this nasty pig to friggin' Move (preferable anywhere out of the USA)?

  9. SignPainterGuy on March 14th, 2012 8:24 pm

    The Ton of Hypocrisy owns a home on the shore of a very deep Michigan lake. If someone would (could) drop him in the middle of it, he`d move plenty trying to swim to shore ! A lake that deep in northern MI HAS to be COLD !

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