Gee that didn’t take long.

Let’s see… Olbermann vs. Gore. It’s hard to decide which side root for. Can there be a lawsuit where both parties lose?

Here’s Keith Olbermann’s departing statement after being released from Current TV, by way of Talking Points Memo:

I’d like to apologize to my viewers and my staff for the failure of Current TV.

Editorially, Countdown had never been better. But for more than a year I have been imploring Al Gore and Joel Hyatt to resolve our issues internally, while I’ve been not publicizing my complaints, and keeping the show alive for the sake of its loyal viewers and even more loyal staff. Nevertheless, Mr. Gore and Mr. Hyatt, instead of abiding by their promises and obligations and investing in a quality news program, finally thought it was more economical to try to get out of my contract.

It goes almost without saying that the claims against me implied in Current’s statement are untrue and will be proved so in the legal actions I will be filing against them presently. To understand Mr. Hyatt’s “values of respect, openness, collegiality and loyalty,” I encourage you to read of a previous occasion Mr. Hyatt found himself in court for having unjustly fired an employee. That employee’s name was Clarence B. Cain.

In due course, the truth of the ethics of Mr. Gore and Mr. Hyatt will come out. For now, it is important only to again acknowledge that joining them was a sincere and well-intentioned gesture on my part, but in retrospect a foolish one. That lack of judgment is mine and mine alone, and I apologize again for it.

Current claims Olbermann violated the networks values of “respect, openness, collegiality and loyalty” — in other words, they say Olbermann’s an asshole. Very believable. As for Olbermann, he’s claiming Gore is unethical. Also very believable.

To replace Olbermann’s, Current hired former New York governor, Client #9, Eliot Spitzer. That will give the network’s couple dozen viewers a reason to go to bed early while the aforementioned blowhards have an eco-friendly court battle.


15 Responses to “Cavalcade of Schadenfreude: Olbermann Dismissed from Current TV, Announces Plans for Lawsuit Against Goracle & Company”

  1. clu seatoe on March 30th, 2012 9:41 pm

    Olbermann, you’re an asshole.
    Oh yeah, well Gore you’re unethical, and your mother’s a midget.
    Is not and me neither.
    Are too,
    em not,
    em too,
    em not,
    em too.
    Oh yeah, same to you but more of it!
    I’m telling, you said a nasty word.
    Did not.
    Did too.
    Did not.
    Did too.

  2. Granny55 on March 30th, 2012 9:45 pm

    Now I might just pay a quarter to watch that cat fight!

  3. Doug on March 30th, 2012 9:50 pm

    Now that you mention it, they should televise an Olbermann vs. Gore duel on Current… they might finally get some viewers.

  4. backwoodsconsr on March 30th, 2012 10:10 pm

    If they make it a battle of wits it would be a duel between two unarmed men.

  5. SignPainterGuy on March 30th, 2012 10:19 pm

    As much as I dislike Olberdork, I absolutely despise Al Blower, so, I have to pull for Olbie on this one. Maybe he can win one of the Goracle`s mansions.

  6. backwoodsconsr on March 30th, 2012 10:42 pm

    Maybe even the one Al Bore bought on the edge of that ocean he swears up and down is rising.

  7. ChapBix on March 30th, 2012 11:14 pm

    Perhaps we can have this fought out and aired on Judge Judy?

  8. ChapBix on March 30th, 2012 11:17 pm

    Maybe they could Sumo wrestle for the award of punitive damages?

  9. SignPainterGuy on March 31st, 2012 3:31 am

    Perhaps not quite so delicious, but schadenfreude non the less; the NAACP has now distanced itself from the Rev. Al Sharlaton over his call for riots if Zimmerman is not arrested !

  10. Dale on March 31st, 2012 3:37 am

    To pick a winner in Olbermann vs. Gore would be like choosing between getting herpes or getting syphillis.

  11. SignPainterGuy on March 31st, 2012 4:35 am

    Syphilis is curable, herpes is not; which of the two blowhards is curable ? Which is merely treatable ?

  12. swede on March 31st, 2012 1:12 pm

    "Current claims Olbermann violated the networks values of “respect, openness, collegiality and loyalty” — in other words, they say Olbermann’s an asshole. Very believable. As for Olbermann, he’s claiming Gore is unethical. Also very believable."

    Turds in the cesspool arguing abot who stinks most? Yawn. Next.

  13. SignPainterGuy on March 31st, 2012 2:16 pm

    Good analogy, Swede, but with one hand plugging my nose I put the other one down for the Goracle !

  14. Pasadena Phil on March 31st, 2012 6:30 pm

    Relax! Jose Canseco is all over it!

    He misses the departed Al Gore and has offered to replace Olbermann if MSNBC is interested.

    Whew! That's a relief! For a while, it looked like MSNBC ratings might go up once that time slot switches to broadcasting pink noise.

  15. Marshall_Will on April 2nd, 2012 12:45 pm

    SO DONE w/ these a-holes. Good riddance once and for all. Have unhappy lives further and further from an ever dimming limelight.

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