Genius on Parade: Protesters March to Rush Limbaugh ‘Office’ That is in Fact 1,000 Miles From His Office

There was another collective power outage in the heads of Occupiers this week.

From The Blaze:

A crowd of Occupy protesters in Chicago descended on Rush Limbaugh’s “office” Thursday to air their grievances about the conservative radio host.

The problem? Despite their references to”Rush’s office building“ and ”Rush Limbaugh’s studio,” they weren’t in the right place — not by more than 1,000 miles.

It seems the protesters — banded together by this weekend’s NATO summit — confused Limbaugh’s real “office building” with one of the hundreds of stations that merely air his show. Limbaugh lives in Palm Beach, Fla.

#OccupyWrongCity

Fail of the day:

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Here’s another epic flush-Rush fail courtesy of a handful of NOW harpies.

Tax in the City: Sarah Jessica Parker Next Celebrity Stooge in Line to Host Obama Fundraiser

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Obama milked L.A. and George Clooney for all it was worth, so it’s on to New York… again. But this time with a different celebrity idiot.

This just landed in my email box:

It’s my honor to invite you to take part in an event I’m hosting at my home with the President and First Lady on June 14th.

If you can make a donation of any amount today, you’ll be automatically entered to win two tickets to New York to join us.

Just before Election Day in 2008, I went to an Obama campaign office in New York and called some undecided voters.

I believed then, as I do now, that if we all chipped in and did our part, we would not only make history, but create meaningful change that so many Americans needed.

For me, this election is even more important than 2008.

As a woman, a mother, and an entrepreneur, I need to believe our country can be a place where everyone has a fair shot at success.

This November’s election will determine whether we get to keep moving forward, or if we’re forced to go back to policies that ask people like my middle-class family in Ohio to carry the burden — while people like me, who don’t need tax breaks, get extra help.

I’m hosting this event on June 14th because there is so much at stake this year, and I want to keep doing what I can.

I hope you’ll help me welcome President Obama and the First Lady to New York.

It should be fabulous.

Donate $3 or whatever you can to be automatically entered to win:

https://donate.barackobama.com/Night-in-New-York

Hope to see you there,

Sarah Jessica

“Forced to go back to policies that ask people like my middle-class family in Ohio to carry the burden”? Heaven forbid their super-rich glitterati relative feel compelled to send them a few dollars. It’s so much easier just to force strangers to pay up.

Ever notice that these vacuous celebs who think everybody deserves a fair shot at success always say they have more than enough money but never retire to make room for other aspiring actors? If it is in fact a “zero sum game” as they usually indicate, the best thing they could do to help others would be to go away!

Somewhat related: Here’s Sarah Jessica Parker without makeup. ARGH!

Obama’s Former Literary Agents Were Birthers!; Updated

Here’s a bio of Barack Obama put out by his former literary agents, Acton & Dystel, in 1991. Anything seem out of sorts?

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Whew! For a minute there I thought Obama’s bio was going to claim he was part Cherokee. But still, The One must be furious that the people at his agency were birthers before the world even knew what birthers were. And to think he paid them a healthy commission for circulating this tripe!

Maybe as a joke some former presidents went back in time and messed with Obama’s bio just to see how he likes it.

All the background on that bio is here. Speculate away!

Update: A person who was an assistant at the agency at the time has said it was a “fact checking error.” (Job offer from the Associated Press incoming!) It would be interesting to find out if this same “fact checking error” was made on, say, Obama’s admissions application to Harvard. We’ll probably never know.

White House Denial: No Biographies Have Been Altered

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On Tuesday we (and the rest of the free world) mocked the Obama administration for including pitiful addendums at the bottom the biographies of almost every president from the last century.

The Obama administration, true to narcissistic form, don’t really understand why people are making a big deal out of it. Besides, technically, they didn’t change any of the bios:

The Obama White House is drawing ridicule for appending the official online biographies of nearly every president over the last century, in order to link President Barack Obama’s accomplishments to the former commanders-in-chief.

The Obama team went into the pages of US presidents dating back to Calvin Coolidge to add “Did you know?” fact boxes to the end of their bios. Those additions were used to plug a host of Obama administration initiatives.

For instance, the following line was added to the official bio of Ronald Reagan, “In a June 28, 1985, speech, Reagan called for a fairer tax code, one where a multimillionaire did not have a lower tax rate than his secretary. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule.”

The White House defended itself, saying, “No biographies have been altered. We simply added links at the bottom of each page to related whitehouse.gov content, which is a commonly used best practice to encourage people to browse more pages on a site.”

The additions do include links, but each one touts an Obama administration policy or practice in the process.

So it’s kind of like Obama building a monument of himself next to the Lincoln Memorial with the inscription “Yeah, what he said,” and then saying, “What’s the big deal? We didn’t make any changes to the Lincoln thing.” But I’ll stop talking about that because I don’t want to give them any ideas.

(h/t JWF)

David Letterman’s Unofficial Campaign Ad for Obama

The only thing missing here is a voice at the end saying “I’m Barack Obama and I approve this message.”

Here’s how kooky Letterman’s getting: Even Brian Williams tried to walk him back a little at one point:

“What more do we want this man to do for us?”

Letterman’s question is worded horribly. If Obama loses in November it’s going to be for what people want him to stop doing.

Osama bin Laden was killed on Barack Obama’s watch. Hooray! That said, I’m sorry Dave if I don’t feel that requires me to support his takeover of the US health care system or his record-setting debt spending.

Reason Obama’s in a Tight Race? His Name

President Obama was on The View yesterday (word is that Joy Behar is still stuck to her chair) and The One was asked about the upcoming election being a tight race. Obama replied “When your name is Barack Obama, it’s always tight.”

Yes, because the reason he might be sent packing is his name. Please. In 2008, the candidate named Barack Hussein Obama got almost ten million more votes than a guy named John McCain.

He’s already lining up excuses for his November drubbing, and when that happens, the reason given won’t be an admission that he drove the country into the ground and people had enough of it. The reason Obama (and the media) will give is because we’re… say it with me… “racist!”

Related: Alarm grows among Dems about Obama’s chances

Maybe they should get him to change his name. Just don’t let him change it to “John McCain.”

President Obama Makes History

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When I write that President Obama has “made history,” I’m not referring to this obvious historic first or even the that that Obama is the first president to ever to run up the debt over $5 trillion on his watch. Those things are indeed historic, but the history that’s being made here is in the very literal sense:

The Heritage Foundation’s Rory Cooper tweeted that Obama had casually dropped his own name into Ronald Reagan’s official biography on www.whitehouse.gov, claiming credit for taking up the mantle of Reagan’s tax reform advocacy with his “Buffett Rule” gimmick. My first thought was, he must be joking. But he wasn’t — it turns out Obama has added bullet points bragging about his own accomplishments to the biographical sketches of every single U.S. president since Calvin Coolidge (except, for some reason, Gerald Ford).

Check it out for yourself on the “learn more about each president” page at WhiteHouse.gov. Here’s one example from the Calvin Coolidge page:

On Feb. 22, 1924 Calvin Coolidge became the first president to make a public radio address to the American people. President Coolidge later helped create the Federal Radio Commission, which has now evolved to become the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). President Obama became the first president to hold virtual gatherings and town halls using Twitter, Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, etc.

The Twitterverse finds this extremely mock-worthy, and rightly so.

In the Truman bio, the administration’s historians forgot to mention Obama’s role in the liberation of the Philippines during World War II, but I’m sure they’ll get around to it:

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Your Stimulus Dollars at Work, Part XXIV

I’m told the administration is filing this under “erections saved or created”:

The NBC Investigative Unit has raised questions about two grants totaling nearly $1.5 million dollars distributed to the University of California San Francisco. The money was part of the federal stimulus program and went to studies into the erectile dysfunction of overweight middle aged men and the accurate reporting of someone’s sexual history.

This is part of our ongoing series of investigations by the NBC Bay Area Investigative Unit into who got federal stimulus dollars, and why some projects did not break ground more than two years after receiving the grant.

The Investigative Unit looked closely at the federal government’s decision to spend nearly $1.5 million dollars of taxpayer money, money that came here to California. Grant number 1R01HD056950-01A2 was among the thousands of grants funded, receiving $1.2 million dollars. This grant studied how to improve the accuracy of how people responded to questions about their sexual history.

The government, which consists to a great degree of overweight middle aged men, just happens to throw our money at a study about erectile dysfunction in overweight middle aged men? What a coincidence.

And what’s with the “accuracy” of questions about sexual history? Haven’t these idiots ever thought to simply apply the “rule of three”?

Ron Paul Ends 2012 Campaign in Order to Better Focus on 2016 Campaign

I’d forgotten Ron Paul was still even in the race:

Ron Paul won’t campaign in any more primaries, his campaign announced Monday afternoon.

A letter sent from Paul to supporters promised to continue the battle for delegates at state party conventions in order to try to influence the party’s platform, but said the campaign will no longer try to win delegates in new states — an uphill battle now that Mitt Romney is the presumed nominee and most states have gone to a winner-take-all system of delegate apportionment.

“We will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states that have not yet voted,” Paul said in the letter. “Doing so with any hope of success would take many tens of millions of dollars we simply do not have.”

It’s okay — this way he’ll get a jump on everybody else for 2016. The real world can’t keep down a man who rocks internet-polls like this forever:

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At least his campaign stayed around long enough to inspire this “bad lip reading” clip.

First Gay President™ to Deliver Commencement Address to College Where He Graciously Invited Himself to Speak

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In early March, our nation’s First Gay President™ graciously invited himself to deliver the commencement address to Barnard College, the all-women’s college in New York. The school accepted the President’s invitation to himself to speak there. The commencement is today.

If you’re in Manhattan and thinking about driving today, don’t:

President Barack Obama arrives in Manhattan on Monday for his first visit to the area since he voiced his support for same-sex marriage.

Obama will affirm his stance on the issue during his trip; first, at a commencement speech at Barnard College and then at a fundraiser in Chelsea sponsored by the LGBT Leadership Council. The event will be hosted by singer Ricky Martin.

New Yorkers can expect traffic-tie ups this afternoon during the president’s visit.

Obama will no doubt speak about the GOP’s “war on women.”

Fighting back against the Republican Party’s unfairness to women is such an important topic that Obama had to displace the woman who was originally scheduled to deliver the commencement.