The Obama campaign must be getting desperate. The latest email from the First Lady makes it sound like she’s offering out the president for any chores or odd jobs you might have.
Here’s FLOTUS’s email. I added some questions and comments for Michelle to ponder while Barack’s out shoveling the snow away from her Volt:
For the first 10 years of our marriage, Barack and I lived in an apartment in my hometown of Chicago. The winters there can be pretty harsh, but no matter how snowy or icy it got, Barack would [take you to Bill Ayers’ house to warm up next to his flag-burning stove?] head out into the cold — shovel in hand — to dig my car out before I went to work. [Did he leave you a bill for $5 trillion tucked under the windshield wiper?]
In all our years of marriage, he’s always looked out for me [“strong, independent woman” morphs into June Cleaver for campaign email — film at eleven]. Now, I see that same commitment every day to you and to this country. [He made your health care shittier and more expensive too?] The only way we’ll win this election is if we can rely on one another like that [and get morons to the polls in droves… but mostly that first thing], all the way to November 6th. You should know that your recent donation means a lot to both of us [I gave you money? There’s no way I got that drunk].
Barack is working hard [caddy call in sick today?], but he can’t do this alone — he needs your help [No problem. Does he have an extra ice scraper?]. Will you make another donation today to build this campaign? [I can’t… you guys invested everything I had in Solyndra] When you do, you’ll be automatically entered to join Barack and me for a casual dinner. [I heard that “casual” means Biden doesn’t wear a shirt — is that true?]
Your flight, your meal, your accommodations — that’s all taken care of [You’re right… it is just like being married to the president!]. Just bring yourself and a guest, and get ready to enjoy a good meal together. [My guest is Rush Limbaugh… is that cool?]
We’re so grateful that you’re out there, ready to keep fighting alongside us from now to November [in the spirit of bipartisanship, if it’s snowing on move-out day in January, we’ll help shovel snow away from your U-Haul].