Jun

26

USDA: Get on Food Stamps, Look and Feel Terrific!

Filed Under Politics | 33 Comments

Last night at Breitbard News I ran across the below radio PSA produced by the Department of Agriculture.

This apparently came out a few months ago, and it certainly helps explain why food stamp usage skyrocketing 70% in just four years. Last Tuesday the Senate voted to reject any cuts to the food stamp program — and why should they? Food stamps are raising the self-esteem of Americans everywhere:

“Food Stamps: You’re gonna like the way you look!”

Comments

33 Responses to “USDA: Get on Food Stamps, Look and Feel Terrific!”

  1. jeffythequick on June 26th, 2012 10:59 am

    I found two products that helped me lose weight and feel great about myself:

    The first is Getofyourazz. This product is used to extricate yourself from your couch, the View, and is used with the second product, Getajob. If you're successful using both of these products, there is no limit to what you can do!

    From Ben Franklin:
    “Laziness travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him.”

  2. backwoodsconsr on June 26th, 2012 11:01 am

    That has Moochelle's fingerprints all over it.

  3. Truesoldier__ on June 26th, 2012 11:07 am

    Wow! Who would have thought that not only do food stamps stimulate the economy, but they help keep you fit as well. Next thing you know they will be telling us that "green energy" not only will stop man made global warming, but it will lead to our being contacted by intelligent life outside our universe…..

  4. jeffythequick on June 26th, 2012 11:09 am

    The hits keep coming! http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06-26/democrat…

    They still haven't tapped the Sandusky market with winning a date with their daughters to raise some cash.

  5. backwoodsconsr on June 26th, 2012 11:11 am

    Actually, intelligent beings from outer space did land at the Capitol Building looking for our leaders, but they concluded they had landed at an asylum by mistake.

  6. Granny55 on June 26th, 2012 12:35 pm

    They should just move the whole thing to Arizona – I am sure they could tap into some local illegal immigrant cash.

  7. Truesoldier__ on June 26th, 2012 12:42 pm

    Sounds to me like they still are not getting the Obama stash….of course from the looks of the Obama campaign gimmicks they are not getting it either.

  8. SignPainterGuy on June 26th, 2012 1:18 pm

    Oh yeah, self esteem is skyrocketing ! When it was a booklet of coupons, the Mom stood at the checkout, embarrassed while she tore out the right number and fished in her bulging purse / diaper bag / carry-all for extra change and Hubs stood behind her in line to pay cash for the two suitcases of beer.

    NOW, the 300 pounder holds her head high while she slides that Food Stamps debit card thru the reader while her youngest child fills half the buggy (with himself) and then rolls out to the dirty mini-van where 8 kids are jumping in and out, screaming and chasing each other around the parking lot, causing traffic disruptions. Yep, it`s so much better now !

  9. Marshall_Will on June 26th, 2012 1:21 pm

    WahBAM.

    After Daughter #1 delivered grandchild #2 ( healthy 7 lb. 14 oz. baby boy thankyouverymuch! ) an MD from a County program called "Healthy Start" or some shizz stopped by the room. All loaded up w/ taxpayer funded benefits and weekly visits and whatnot!?

    Of course 4 out ot 5 kids born there are to illegals so I think the good doc was a little surprised by our response. We.Are.A.Family. We.Take.Care.Of.Our.OWN. Then I just had… to do it!? To Mrs. Will's chagrin, ( in best celeb-endorsement voiceover )

    "I'm 53 years old, had a vasectomy but with as good as the Healthy Start Program is…, I"M having a BABY!" She stormed out in a harrumph but we didn't GAF. Seeya'!

  10. Marshall_Will on June 26th, 2012 1:24 pm

    Well at least tell it like it IS? Those $50 mil. "grants" aren't exactly like they were coming from "Homeland Security", they're coming from us taxpayers ( whom btw FUND DHS )

    Glad they're CANX the Speedway event. Let's see if by Sept. we can't have this whittled down to the scale of say a Fleebagger event at the Motel 6?

  11. Granny55 on June 26th, 2012 2:24 pm

    Zing!!!!

  12. Granny55 on June 26th, 2012 2:27 pm

    So do you suppose these little darlings are fit and filled with self esteem?
    http://www.myfoxny.com/story/18877814/2012/06/25/…

  13. SignPainterGuy on June 26th, 2012 2:37 pm

    Ha ha, good one ! What a time to have been a fly on the wall !

    Tell me, M_W, do you do a stand up routine before playing a gig or do you just jump right in t`jammin` ? ;-)

  14. SignPainterGuy on June 26th, 2012 2:43 pm

    I saw that !! My first thought was, "Here`s a true need for some serious spankings !" They thought it would be cool to throw trash in the memorial monument…….for "something to do" !

  15. Dexter_Alarius on June 26th, 2012 2:56 pm

    Ben Franklin also said (paraphrasing) that the best way to help the poor is to make them uncomfortable in their poverty.

    I'm all for requiring a quid pro quo for welfare: pick up trash along the street, polish doorknobs at government buildings, wash and wax police cars, scrape gum off the sidewalks, etc.

  16. clu seatoe on June 26th, 2012 3:00 pm

    Like every other federal program designed for the good of the people, liberal Dems, Zero and/or those in his administration have pimped it out and prostituted it to try to become a vote catching fishing net.

    Those fish that were caught a generation or two ago are transferred to a bigger tank to be fed and kept trapped and enslaved by federal feeding and to make room for the newbies constantly being swept up by the trolling nets we see on “HIGHER EDUCATION, OR MORE ACCURATELY REEDUCATION” campuses. For those who got away by bypassing the campuses its hoped the snares of Zero’s federal “HELPS” programs will catch them.

    Zero’s administration shows itself to be no respecter or persons, age groups, or economic strata when it comes to setting it’s nets, snares and traps disguised as “HELPS” to catch, net, trap, and chain up its slaves using the federal government and to, hopefully on the administration’s part, get them to reproduce and replenish their voting ranks for future use.

    In today’s vernacular, these are week-minded, week –willed, farm-raised on liberal poison and federally placated voters with emaciated brains due to being raised on the daily feeding of the blather spewed out by liberal, wealth redistribution, socialist Dems, rather than the lively, thinking, strong and wild voters who have escaped the wiles of the fed.

  17. jeffythequick on June 26th, 2012 3:07 pm

    I was going to use that one as well, but I couldn't find the exact quote, so I went with the one above.

    I'm more of a different ilk on them polishing government knobs and waxing themselves on police cars. I think they should not get anything after a month, and when they do, shelter, but no food.

    It's amazing how starvation motivates people.

  18. Truesoldier__ on June 26th, 2012 3:13 pm

    Completly agree. If you want public assistance you need to provide a public service.

  19. jeffythequick on June 26th, 2012 3:15 pm

    Yeah, the kids come home with the free lunch paperwork every year.

    When I was a single dad, they insisted that I filled them out, because I was single, and that's what single parents did.

    I smiled, and told them that my children would eat dirt sandwiches before I filled out those forms, unless you had a police officer command me to.

    The next year, they had the new girl ask me about the forms.

  20. jeffythequick on June 26th, 2012 3:17 pm

    oh yeah, and they lose weight too!

    Win-win!

  21. Marshall_Will on June 26th, 2012 3:19 pm

    Usually I just tell jokes to the band before we go on, helps people stay loose and get the jitters out. After that I'm not even allowed near the mike.

    Our daughter most of all resented the assumption that a) they are not a married couple! b) never got past the 11th grade c) got knocked up w/ NO plan on how to contend with a pregnancy and d) hadn't already been an AUNT, baby-sitter and older sister!?

    The whole premise is more State-rearing of children. I stole the comedy routine from Richard Klein, "Hi, I'm Michael Landon, and this offer was so good, I came back from the dead!"

  22. Granny55 on June 26th, 2012 3:32 pm

    It;s the parents that need the spanking for raising such disrespectful yutes!

  23. clu seatoe on June 26th, 2012 4:36 pm

    Like every other federal program designed for the good of the people, liberal Dems, Zero and/or those in his administration have pimped it out and prostituted it to try to become a vote catching fishing net.

    Those fish that were caught a generation or two ago are transferred to a bigger tank to be fed and kept trapped and enslaved by federal feeding and to make room for the newbies constantly being swept up by the trolling nets we see on “HIGHER EDUCATION, OR MORE ACCURATELY REEDUCATION” campuses. For those who got away by bypassing the campuses its hoped the snares of Zero’s federal “HELPS” programs will catch them.

    Zero’s administration shows itself to be no respecter or persons, age groups, or economic strata when it comes to setting it’s nets, snares and traps disguised as “HELPS” to catch, net, trap, and chain up its slaves using the federal government and to, hopefully on the administration’s part, get them to reproduce and replenish their voting ranks for future use.

    In today’s vernacular, these are week-minded, week –willed, farm-raised on liberal poison and federally placated voters with emaciated brains due to being raised on the daily feeding of the blather spewed out by liberal, wealth redistribution, socialist Dems, rather than the lively, thinking, strong and wild voters who have escaped the wiles of the fed.

  24. Granny55 on June 26th, 2012 4:41 pm

    Doug

    Posting issues on newest article!!!

  25. Truesoldier__ on June 26th, 2012 5:34 pm

    I noticed that as well.

  26. Truesoldier__ on June 26th, 2012 5:36 pm

    Another question. If food stamps are supposed to help you eat right and stay fit then why is it that everytime I am in line behind someone using them their cart is always filled with chips, pop, candy, ice cream, pre-made microwaveable foods, etc?

  27. Marshall_Will on June 26th, 2012 6:04 pm

    Dude, I'd DIE… to get my hands on some o' dat good stuff!

    If you're going to make weight for the Guard, you can hang that stuff up. Can't remember the last time I even had a beer that wasn't Lite or uh… ULTRA Light. Hell, I've forgotten what real beer TASTES like?

    Yeah, junque` food. Lobster & Mountain Dew. How nice!

  28. backwoodsconsr on June 26th, 2012 6:08 pm

    Then there was the roadie who decided to entertain the band before a concert by playing a piano that happened to be on the premises. The roadie's name was Billy Powell, and the band was Lynyrd Skynyrd.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Powell

  29. SignPainterGuy on June 26th, 2012 8:46 pm

    Yeah, I had a whole comment ready to go and just as I started to click Submit, I realized the box showed me as NOT logged in, but at the top of the comments, it showed my name AS logged in. Refreshing the page twice took care of it, but I lost the comment !

  30. SignPainterGuy on June 26th, 2012 8:52 pm

    The 300 pounders here buy all the junque food you mentioned, but ALSO get a half-cart-load of large packs of good steaks, stew meat, pot roasts, and 10+ lb packs of ground beef. Are they having a party for the whole neighborhood / trailer park !?

  31. backwoodsconsr on June 26th, 2012 9:20 pm

    I've been trying to comment on it for two hours. It won't let me no matter what I do.

  32. jeffythequick on June 27th, 2012 12:00 am

    control-c,v (or in my case command-c,v) is your friend…

    Same thing here on the new post. Not Mac compatible, I guess…
    ;)

  33. ChapBix on June 27th, 2012 1:08 am

    Easy enough mistake to make.

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