If anybody’s wondering what to get me for Christmas, wonder no more. My dream clothing has arrived:

Yoko Ono launched a menswear collection on Tuesday that she says was inspired by John Lennon’s “hot bod.” Among her designs are pants with large handprints on the crotch, tank tops with nipple cutouts, a flashing LED bra (yes, for men) and that pair of pants with a sheer backside.

The collection of menswear for Opening Ceremony is available the company’s U.S. stores in New York and Los Angeles now, its London store on Nov. 30 and its Tokyo flagship on Dec. 9.

Ono’s clothing line is based on a series of drawings she sketched as a gift for Lennon for their wedding day in 1969. The sketches were put into a book, Fashions for Men, and brought to life as a collection.

Imagine there’s no fashion sense; It’s easy if you try:



The three at the top and the bottom left designs are from Yoko’s “Turn Your Head and Cough” collection.

On the bright side, at least designing hideous clothes has distracted her from trying to sing… or, whatever this is:


24 Responses to “Yoko Ono Somehow Manages to Make Her Clothing Line Worse Than Her Singing Voice”

  1. SignPainterGuy on November 29th, 2012 2:15 pm

    Well done, Doug; you`ve made a useful line out of "Imagine" ! I couldn`t stand John and Yoko when they were current – nothing has changed !

    While I wish no ill will on her, I hope Yoko`s clothing line receives all the scorn it so richly deserves !

  2. Truesoldier__ on November 29th, 2012 3:01 pm

    Why do I have a feeling this line will be very popular with a certain constieuncy group in SF?

  3. JetHeadJoe on November 29th, 2012 3:26 pm

    Actually, this clothing is ideal for the frequent flier! Imagine the reaction from the TYJ…excuse me…the TSA. They won't have to scan you or feel you up. They will be able to see all the way to Opelika (with my apologies to the fine folks in Opelika, Alabama!

  4. Truesoldier__ on November 29th, 2012 4:03 pm

    And you could always claim the crotch hand print was left by the TSA.

  5. backwoodsconsr on November 29th, 2012 4:05 pm

    Folks in Alabama sing without instrumental accompaniment?

  6. jeffythequick on November 29th, 2012 4:53 pm


    Socks will do.

    Plus, I have my own Mormon magic underwear…



  7. Truesoldier__ on November 29th, 2012 4:56 pm

    O/T…I heard Mark Levin give a great Fiscal Cliff counter offer that the GOP should use. Obama keeps claiming the GOP is holding the middle class tax cuts hostage, so Leving proposed the GOP offer to cut the middle income tax bracket rates by 10% in exchange for leaving the upper tax bracket rates at current levels. This way the GOP is actually cutting taxes only for the "middle class". If Obama turns it down, the GOP can go on all the Sunday shows and play the class warfare card to demonize Obama and the Dem's as wanting to raise taxes on the middle class. Stick to that line and Obama and the Dems will want to change the subject fast.

  8. jeffythequick on November 29th, 2012 5:49 pm

    This way the GOP is actually cutting taxes only for the "middle class". If Obama turns it down, the GOP can go on all the Sunday shows and play the class warfare card to demonize Obama and the Dem's as wanting to raise taxes on the middle class.

    Yeah, but they won't.

  9. Marshall_Will on November 29th, 2012 5:50 pm

    Brilliant..! Simply brilliant.

    For those of us that can't understand an Incumbent Without A Budget ( somehow being ABLE to 'run' ) and getting re-elected ( I see an amendment in the making? ) but how can we even DEBATE any kind of a "tax" negotiation, when we don't have a budget!?

    So… we're going to have this… 'discussion' about how much we'll have to raise taxes but we don't really know what the total tab is? It's like negotiating w/ a hooker, Danny Bonaducci style..! You're a WHAT? WTF guys…

  10. jeffythequick on November 29th, 2012 5:51 pm

    Back to the topic at hand… (pauses while the laughter dies down…)

    Could you imagine being a model, and Yoko hands you these?

    I guess hard times (yuk!) brings out this kind of stupidity… on both sides of this deal.

  11. backwoodsconsr on November 29th, 2012 6:05 pm

    Ono! I'm supposed to wear this?!

  12. jeffythequick on November 29th, 2012 6:50 pm

    If Boehner had a spine, he'd just stop negotiating, and tell them, "no more CR's"

    We either get a budget, or no more money gets spent.

    Also, no more raising of the debt ceiling.

    Let them squirm, then.

    But then again, my original premise isn't true.

  13. Truesoldier__ on November 29th, 2012 9:25 pm

    The models were more afraid that Yoko Ono would want to do a "casting call" with them before the shoot.

  14. Marshall_Will on November 29th, 2012 10:55 pm


    I'm always so sad to see this. When older people FAIL to escalate their lives. Take Stanley Kubrick. Cinematic GENIUS! 2001, Full Metal Jacket. Then in the Fall of his career and her churns out softcore sleaze like "Eyes Wide Shut"!

    Anyone that's seen it would readily admit he was just an old ogler that had the money to get Nicole Kidman in the buff. "I think we need another TAKE on that..?

    Sad, just sad…. You know the Lord hoped for more.

  15. SignPainterGuy on November 29th, 2012 11:12 pm

    Yeah, it`s a hold-over from years living with GrandParents who never missed an episode of Lawrence Welk. "Put a smile on your faze and a sonk in your hard !"

  16. Dexter_Alarius on November 30th, 2012 1:25 pm

    The expressions on the faces of those models say it all:
    "I can't believe I'm getting paid to wear this crap. I hope nobody sees these pics."

  17. Truesoldier__ on November 30th, 2012 2:41 pm

    Welll it is the yoko Ono line, so like everything else she does know one will really pay any attention to it.

  18. SignPainterGuy on November 30th, 2012 8:26 pm

    Such is the life of a well paid live mannequin !

    Yoko gets a few brief mentions / fun pokes like this one and she`s back to obscurity until she comes up with something else edgy to get her noticed for a NY minute !

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