You’d think it would be awesome to be related to Joe Biden, just for how smart you’d look in comparison at the family reunions. However, some people just can’t handle the stress of being related to a goofy gaffe-machine who is one heartbeat away from being the second worst president in history:

Uncle Joe is making her life a living hell.

Friends say Caroline ­Biden is a “hot mess” with a history of booze and pill addiction — and she blames it all on the tremendous pressure she faces being the vice president’s niece.

“She would complain about it all the time,” a confidant, socialite Paul Johnson Calderon, said without a hint of sarcasm.

“She’s surrounded by a lot of people who use her because of who she is. Guys would want to date her because of who her ­uncle is.”

When I was younger, if women wanted to date me because of who my uncle was I totally could have handled that, but not everybody can.

Uncle Joe has probably already contacted her and said something incredibly embarrassing by now.


9 Responses to “Caroline Biden Succumbs to the Enormous Pressures of Being a Dunderheaded Vice President’s Niece”

  1. Truesoldier__ on September 23rd, 2013 3:33 pm

    “Guys would want to date her because of who her ­uncle is.”

    Sounds to me like she needs to look for a different kind of guy to date.

  2. backwoodsconservative on September 23rd, 2013 4:47 pm

    "No need to waste my best pickup lines on that chick. She'll probably believe anything!"

  3. Truesoldier__ on September 23rd, 2013 5:10 pm

    O/T…New poll shows 92% of the public believes that the Obamacare exemption for Congress needs to go:

  4. guest on September 23rd, 2013 5:56 pm

    Betcha booze and pills came first then the excuses.

  5. Truesoldier__ on September 23rd, 2013 7:12 pm

    No doubt about it otherwise they would have came up with a much more plausible excuse than that of "i'm the niece of gaffes".

  6. backwoodsconservative on September 23rd, 2013 7:20 pm

    The stupid came first.

    In the beginning was the stupid, and the stupid was with Joe and the stupid was Joe.

  7. backwoodsconservative on September 23rd, 2013 7:24 pm

    I heard a guy in AA say that when he was a newcomer his sponsor told him to take a look at himself and figure out why he became an alcoholic. He said there was a lot of stuff going around back then about disfunctional families so he went back to his sponsor and said, "I've got it. I came from a disfunctional family." His sponsor replied, "I guess it was. You were in it."

  8. Granny55 on September 24th, 2013 10:55 am

    And remember – you can't fix stupid!

  9. jeffythequick on September 24th, 2013 8:29 pm

    She should marry one of these guys, thereby changing (or at least hyphenate it), thus getting rid of her problem!

    Well, at least the name problem.

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