Tax Day has arrived and it’s snowing outside, which can’t be a coincidence. I have no idea what that means, but it seems appropriate.

Did everybody get their taxes filed on time? Just think, right now, all the rich libs who spend the rest of the year saying wealthy people should pay more in taxes are holding guns to the heads of their accountants and ordering them to eke out every possible last-minute deduction.

Below is a column I wrote in 2006 about this annual occasion.


Tax Day Blues

Today is the day when the tax returns of all hard-working citizens of the United States need to be in the mail. Many of us are so busy in our daily lives that we never consider what is involved in this behemoth of a tax system, but the implications of “Tax Day” deserve further exploration. How did this come about, and where is it headed?

Since the dawn of man, we have been filled with a motivation to move forward. We’re wondrous creatures in our adaptability and ingenuity. We’ve discovered fire, tools, the wheel, medicine, television, space travel, automatic garage door openers, disco and abdominizers. Seven out of nine isn’t bad.

Through all those thousands of years we’ve been pushing our intellects to become a better, more efficient civilization. With the exception of certain alleged sitcoms and politicians who treat the public teat like a rottweiler’s chew toy, we have.

Amidst all these changes, however, remains an urge in many of us that still tugs at the core of our biological makeup, just as it did a thousand years ago. Many of us, through the thousands of years gone by, have shaken this yearning, but for others it’s an urge that’s so overwhelming that they have stopped fighting it and now act upon it, all nice and legal like, thanks to the laws for which this Tax Day is symbolic. That lust is: “How can I get my hands on some of their stuff?”

Cave dwellers asked themselves that question, and if they didn’t get what they wanted, they used their clubs to achieve those ends. These days, with obvious exceptions, human beings are far more civilized. Now, when people ask themselves how they can get their hands on the stuff of others, they simply get elected to Congress – then hire people to wield the club.

Of course, Congress won’t take your stuff directly. If they did, we wouldn’t be paying nearly as much in taxes, mainly because “self-imposed term limits” will never be in a politician’s lexicon.

Enter the Internal Revenue Service, which gives politicians the ability to commit crimes without leaving any fingerprints on the gun, and demonstrates for us the single component that separates modern man from primitive man: Subcontracted coercion.

On this Tax Day, we’re writing checks to the government for any taxes due, or awaiting a check in return for any overpayment. Some of us get excited about a tax return, but if we lent our Mercedes to a friend, and months later all we got back was a tire, a door and a windshield wiper, would be giddy about our “Benz return”?

Paying taxes wasn’t always such a treacherous and confiscatory undertaking. For a long time, this country was run on very limited funds. Up until the early 1800s, the government was operated purely on internal sales taxes and revenue from a gigantic powdered wig and red-coat closeout sale. Then in 1817, the government got rid of internal taxes and functioned mostly on tariffs on imported goods. Can you imagine running this bloated monster of a federal government solely on import taxes imposed on sneakers and gag gifts?

We were created with the ability to create. All this is evidenced in the brilliance of many of our finest moments, from medicine to art to science, but that all came to an end with the ratification of the 16th Amendment in 1913. The amendment gave Congress legal authority to tax income. The kids finally found the key to the Founding Fathers’ liquor cabinet.

Much of the creative energy that should be focused on curing disease, designing grand buildings, composing music, and exploring the farthest reaches of the universe, now goes into trying to figure out a way to write off our lawnmower as a dependent.

Will the 16th Amendment ever be repealed? This may mean that the tax collector would have to be sent to our homes to collect, and we’d actually see how much money is going out the door. The government knows this, which is why they would repeal the Second Amendment before even considering repealing the 16th. In other words, keep filling out those tax forms. We’re in it for the long haul.

On this day, America’s biggest homework assignment of the year is due. The government chose the middle of April because in the springtime, as our fancy turns to other things, we may be too busy to notice that our pockets are being picked. Even if we do notice, the politicians hope we’ve forgotten about it by the first Tuesday in November.


11 Responses to “Tax Day is upon us”

  1. Truesoldier__ on April 15th, 2014 3:22 pm

    We need to go to a flat tax. No write off's, no deductibles, no EIC just a flat percentage. You could either have it deducted per paycheck (with no need to file a return) or choose to pay the percentage annually.

    With this there needs to be a balanced budget amendment that also states that the government can no longer borrow money except in times of war. The government must learn to live within the taxes collected and prioritize spending based on this (just like the households of those who pay taxes).

  2. backwoodsconservative on April 15th, 2014 7:38 pm

    Move Election Day to April 15th.

  3. Granny617 on April 15th, 2014 8:16 pm

    Yes – move election day to April 15th but……no more payroll deduction of taxes. Make everyone write the check on April 15th and see how fast the rats scatter from the deck and our tax laws are overhauled and the IRS is abolished.

  4. Granny617 on April 15th, 2014 8:17 pm

    And watch how fast those uninformed voters suddenly get an education in finances and government.

  5. Truesoldier__ on April 15th, 2014 9:08 pm

    Same with union dues.

  6. Marshall_Will on April 15th, 2014 9:21 pm


    The PEU's power base.

  7. Marshall_Will on April 15th, 2014 9:25 pm

    Doug Powers said;

    "Much of the creative energy that should be focused on curing disease, designing grand buildings, composing music, and exploring the farthest reaches of the universe, now goes into trying to figure out a way to write off our lawnmower as a dependent."

    And you have no idea how long I've lamented that. The sheer amount of energy that goes into developing tax-friendly financial products for affluent investors boggles the mind.

    We have "charitable trust remainders", "Alternative Min. Tax free bond funds"..! Legions of tax atty's, fund managers.., clerks etc. All just to skirt something we shouldn't be contendning with in the FIRST place..?

  8. Marshall_Will on April 15th, 2014 9:30 pm

    To be honest, I file an extension EVERY year. No desire to be part of the herd and if it costs a little more to have the luxury and benefit of going over it w/ a fine tooth comb, then I'll PAY.

    Along those lines, what Progs/LIV's don't realize is that even W-2 employees OWE the IRS. Just b/c you're not locked in mortal battle over an estate or uh… passive income on royalties etc. doesn't mean you don't "have a tax problem".

    Just theirs is served in smaller bite-sized chunky chunks.

  9. Truesoldier__ on April 17th, 2014 10:26 am

    I do the same as well. I have my CPA file an extension every year (I am just not a numbers guy) as well. This way, I can have his full attention without a rush to go over it with a fine tooth comb.

  10. Truesoldier__ on April 17th, 2014 10:29 am

    And this is the reason we have not seen real tax reform out of the DC cesspool. The lobby for the tax-friendly financial products, tax attorneys, etc. have too deep of pockets not to be able to ensure the reforms do not go through.

    The only way to get tax reform is to drain the swamp.

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    Tax Day is upon us : The Powers That Be

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