Would threats of a “pro Bush” speech at the Academy Awards be enough to get the show cancelled?

The 77th annual Academy Awards are still over three months away, but I was thinking about the Oscars this morning, and how distraught most of Malibu must be right now. That said, there are conservative actors, and now they’re more motivated than ever. Would any of them have the guts to give a “pro Bush” speech at the Oscars? The very thought of that would scare the Vera Wang off any leftist starlet. The Academy would sooner cancel than let that happen. If they got word that an actor was preparing a “pro Bush” acceptance speech, you’d probably see a press release along these lines, announcing the cancellation of the show:

“The fine actors and actresses who grace this stage are expected to behave with decorum, decency, and voice their opposition to all war and tax cuts, have a profound interest in freeing the Tibetan people, believe that meat is murder, Bush stole the 2000 election, and probably even the 2004 election, support the ramming of whaling vessels, oppose medical testing on animals, are pro gun control, anti logging, demand freedom for Leonard Peltier, loudly denounce the shafting of Native Americans, want a ban on fossil fuels and nuclear weapons, fly their private 747’s thousands of miles to attend summits on ozone depletion, believe you can’t hug your kids with nuclear arms, want free medical care, spray paint fur coats, and encourage everyone to worship L. Ron Hubbard. Anything other than these common principles is simply political grandstanding, and will not be tolerated. Once this pro-Bush individual is identified and the proper precautions are taken, we will consider the rescheduling of the Oscars.”

Hey…could happen.

Now they're blaming us for their unwatchable movies

You just have to love Hollywood, in a “loser brother-in-law who won’t get a job, drinks all your beer and keeps you entertained due to your sheer amazement at his stupidity” sort of way. Now they’re blaming Bush and his ilk when their films tank.

Paramount Films’ “Alfie”, about a womanizer, played by Jude Law, was a total floater at the box office after it opened. Wayne Llewellyn, the president of distribution at Paramount, said that the conservative ethos reflected in last week’s election results might have hurt the film. Quoted in the New York Times (so you know it must be true) , Llewellyn said, “It could be the mood of the country right now. It seems to be the result of the election. Maybe they didn’t want to see a guy that slept around.”

There you go. It’s Bush’s fault, and it’s your fault. Could it be that their film blew chunks like a Saturday night beer bonger after a marathon frat party? Nah!

Think about it. They’re now accusing mainstream Americans, in angry condescension no less, of having good taste! That’s an insult we should gracefully accept.

Now they’re blaming us for their unwatchable movies

You just have to love Hollywood, in a “loser brother-in-law who won’t get a job, drinks all your beer and keeps you entertained due to your sheer amazement at his stupidity” sort of way. Now they’re blaming Bush and his ilk when their films tank.

Paramount Films’ “Alfie”, about a womanizer, played by Jude Law, was a total floater at the box office after it opened. Wayne Llewellyn, the president of distribution at Paramount, said that the conservative ethos reflected in last week’s election results might have hurt the film. Quoted in the New York Times (so you know it must be true) , Llewellyn said, “It could be the mood of the country right now. It seems to be the result of the election. Maybe they didn’t want to see a guy that slept around.”

There you go. It’s Bush’s fault, and it’s your fault. Could it be that their film blew chunks like a Saturday night beer bonger after a marathon frat party? Nah!

Think about it. They’re now accusing mainstream Americans, in angry condescension no less, of having good taste! That’s an insult we should gracefully accept.

Streisand weighs in on the election, awaits meds

Barbra Streisand, on her website, has given a brief statement on the election of President Bush. The woman with the gall to take a stage and babble on about the evils of *corporate greed while charging $400 per ticket (*”Barbra Inc.” exempt) even quoted Thomas Jefferson in her statement. The quote is meant as a rallying cry for her fellow loopy, punch drunk lefists:

“A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public debtIf the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at stake.”

Uh, Babs… Jefferson was a Republican. The “reign of witches” he’s referring to is the influence of you and your bedwetting activist Malibu neighbors. It’s passed over indeed.

Clarence Thomas as Chief Justice? The end of the world as they know it.

Should Chief Justice William Rehnquist retire for health reasons, Bush may consider nominating Clarence Thomas for the position. If you think the Democrats are in the final stages of apoplexia nervosa now, just wait until this is discussed further.

They’ll pull out all the stops to prevent this from occurring. Ruth Bader Ginsburg will claim to have found a pubic hair on her coke can. Ted Kennedy will yell “Muthna ith nah kreh nathnah!” – Which will be interpreted as some sort of anti-Clarence diatribe, and Tom Daschle will, well, just shake his head in disapproval and then get back to serving drinks at a Sioux City bowling alley.

And that’s just for starters. Bush could have a few appointments to make to the Supreme Court, which has many members who are almost as old as the magazines in my doctor’s waiting room.

The frustration induced hilarity is only beginning.

"Investment in the Balance": Al Gore's latest entrepreneurial endeavor

Al Gore’s at it again. This from the NY Post:

The former vice president is starting a mutual-fund management company that will invest in companies that combine environmental friendliness and social accountability with profitability.

If that sounds logical on the surface, consider this… To Al Gore and his cohorts, it is impossible to be “socially accountable” while being profitable, because money is a divider, separating classes and creating anger which is fueled by politicians like Gore running for office. In addition, it’s impossible to be profitable and environmentally friendly, since all you’d do is buy an SUV or something else that would destroy the earth, with all the profits.

This business will go about as well as that “Gore TV” idea. Too bad Al didn’t get that off the ground, because investors from his mutual fund company could have starred in Gore TV’s hit show, “Who wants to be an ex-millionaire?”

For now, people who dump their money into “Recount Mutual” can rest easy… they may lose it all, but at least they’ll be mentioned in Gore’s new book, “Investment in the Balance.” Just remember, nothing is more socially accountable and environmentally friendly than poverty, so if you lose your shirt, not to mention house and cars, on this investment– You’re saving the planet!

“Investment in the Balance”: Al Gore’s latest entrepreneurial endeavor

Al Gore’s at it again. This from the NY Post:

The former vice president is starting a mutual-fund management company that will invest in companies that combine environmental friendliness and social accountability with profitability.

If that sounds logical on the surface, consider this… To Al Gore and his cohorts, it is impossible to be “socially accountable” while being profitable, because money is a divider, separating classes and creating anger which is fueled by politicians like Gore running for office. In addition, it’s impossible to be profitable and environmentally friendly, since all you’d do is buy an SUV or something else that would destroy the earth, with all the profits.

This business will go about as well as that “Gore TV” idea. Too bad Al didn’t get that off the ground, because investors from his mutual fund company could have starred in Gore TV’s hit show, “Who wants to be an ex-millionaire?”

For now, people who dump their money into “Recount Mutual” can rest easy… they may lose it all, but at least they’ll be mentioned in Gore’s new book, “Investment in the Balance.” Just remember, nothing is more socially accountable and environmentally friendly than poverty, so if you lose your shirt, not to mention house and cars, on this investment– You’re saving the planet!

Did Tah-Ray-Zuh cost Kerry the election?

Every loser in every election can point to one or two things that screwed up their chances at glory. Carter had stagflation, a hostage crisis, and Billy. Mondale pledged to raise taxes on everybody. Dukakis climbed aboard a tank after donning a ponderous helmet with a hammock for a chin strap, making it look like somebody put a khaki wok on the head of a mentally challenged Greek bobblehead doll. George HW Bush had the “read my lips” thing, and left astounded at how many people actually can read lips. Dole was…well…Dole. Gore had Clinton baggage, and then, at one debate, looked as if he’d rear ended a Maybelline truck on the way to the auditorium, and is now this close to having laces on his suit coat. Kerry’s people will point toward his wife.

For Kerry, there were about 25 years worth of reasons he lost, which is referred to as a “senate record.” This will be ignored, since it would require facing the reality that nobody, save for parts of the east, New York, and Oz-like areas of California, thinks Kerry’s positions are correct. It can’t be that he’s just plain wrong, they’ll think…so, naturally, it must be the weirdly confrontational rich chick with the Gabor sister accent.

Those who say Teresa Heinz Kerry cost John Kerry the election are simply being ignorant of the facts: Americans are astute, and first fear the person with the bad ideas. His wife is secondary– A mere condiment, if you will.