Joe Paterno, the iconic former Penn State football coach whose legend was tarnished when he was fired in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, has died, his family confirmed Sunday. He was 85.

Doctors had said Saturday that Paterno’s condition had become ”serious” in recent days after he experienced complications from lung cancer.

The winningest major-college football coach of all time with 409 victories and two national titles, Paterno was diagnosed shortly after Penn State’s Board of Trustees ousted him Nov. 9 following the child sex-abuse charges against Sandusky, his former assistant.

I’m more interested in knowing if somebody’s going to try and blow my ass up at the mall this weekend, but whatever.

DHS linked to the video below. Isn’t assuming that a frozen turkey dunked in hot oil will explode in a ball of fire profiling?

Idea for the DHS: Forget about how we’re cooking Thursday’s dinner… instead, line the border with thousands of pots of boiling oil, and when you sense somebody approaching to jump the border, dump a frozen turkey in each one. Oil fire fence! Oh come on, it’s at least as good as Herman Cain’s idea.

Doug Ross has a good catch-phrase for the DHS turkey safety program: “If you see something, baste something.”

Thanks, J-Nap, but if I want turkey frying safety tips, I’ll get them from William Shatner.

(h/t Washington Examiner)

New York City Michael Bloomberg will officiate his chief policy adviser’s wedding on July 24, the first day gays can marry in the state.

The New York Times reports that this week, Bloomberg called John Feinblatt, who works for the mayor at City Hall, and invited him for coffee in the office kitchen. Bloomberg said he wasn’t sure if Feinblatt and is partner, Commissioner for Consumer Affairs Jonathan Mintz, planned to get married. But if they did, and if they needed somebody to marry them, the mayor would “really love to.”

“The mayor and John popped the question,” Mintz told the Times.

Yep, Bloomberg popped the big question: “There’s not going to be any trans fatty foods or smoking allowed at the reception is there?”

I think Bloomie’s just looking for an excuse to wear this outfit again:

Yesterday Rush Limbaugh was in Joplin, Missouri and gave a rousing speech to a huge crowd in the town devastated by tornadoes not long ago:

Below is a clip from the speech. Not political — just the kind of a testimony to the greatness of America that I’d normally say the left hates to hear, but I won’t say that because of the non-political nature of the occasion.

The video was shot from far back but the audio is good:

HAP has more pics here.

In any case, Kevorkian has died:

Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the central figure in the tumultuous national drama surrounding assisted suicide, died Friday in a Michigan hospital. He was 83 and lived in Bloomfield Hills, Mich.

Keep in mind that Kevorkian’s death was confirmed by lawyer and serial weasel Geoffrey Feiger, which means I will forever remain skeptical of the veracity of the claim.

By acting like he enjoyed it way too much, Kevorkian was his own worst enemy when it came to arguing in favor of “physician assisted suicide.” Look at him here a few years ago with his contraption — he’s beaming like a proud grandfather posing with his newborn grandson or something:

He leaves behind a van, some syringes and the most macabre paintings this side of Rob Zombie’s basement.