Obama Says Insulation is Sexy; Senator’s Caulk Gets Hard

Accompanied by some US Senators, President Obama spoke at a Home Depot today in northern Virginia (I wonder if it’s the one Biden hangs out in all the time) and said that insulation is “sexy.” That must explain why I feel the urge to put on some Barry White whenever I’m driving past the Owens Corning plant.

At least now we know where the prez’s next “date night” is going to be — aisle 8 at Home Depot.

The most amazing thing about Obama’s speech about conserving energy in the home was when he said “If you saw $20 dollar bills floating out your window, you’d insulate better.” Is saving money that easy? Can we just wrap our paychecks in insulation to keep the cash from floating away? That would be sexy — but unfortunately it only seems to work for homes:

When it comes to home improvement advice from presidents, I’m inclined to listen to Obama, because he seems to know his way around the house better than his predecessors:

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Welcome to Obamaville: Land of a Thousand Panhandlers

During the depression, people referred to homeless camps as “Hoovervilles.”

Colorado now has it’s own modern-day version — “Obamaville”:

nullSomeone has put a lot of thought into a welcome sign that may surprise you, it’s in front of a homeless camp off I-25 in Colorado Springs.

Its message, “Welcome to Obamaville, Colorado’s fastest growing community.” Despite repeated calls no one could answer the question, who put up the sign?

To some homeless the sign’s message says enough. Mark Limonez, a homeless man living in “tent city”, says the sign doesn’t make him feel good about trying to get back on his feet. “Guys are trying to work but there’s not enough work out there, so they go pan handling or flag a sign” Limonez says, “I’ve never seen so many camps since I’ve been out in the streets – there’s no money.”

There are no logos on the front of the sign and no clues to where it comes from.

How much stimulus can one country handle? Oh well… schools are being named for Obama, so it’s about time he got a town, too.

As far as where the sign comes from, I have no idea, but a wider view of the Obamaville sign offers a clue as to one of the sponsors of the homeless camp:

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Update: The “Obamaville” sign is explained a bit here. It’s also been taken down, unsurprisingly.

The part of the story where a couple of letters are highlighted saying that they wished the person who spent money on the Obamaville sign had instead spent the same money on the cause of the homeless is interesting. If only more people would have the same opinion about the millions of dollars that are spent on “stimulus” signs.

Sheriff Roscoe P. Biden’s Epic Fail

Here’s what Barack Obama said on March 3, 2009 when outlining how his administration would maintain integrity in the stimulus payout process:

“To you, he’s Mr. Vice President,” President Obama said at the Department of Transportation this morning. “But around the White House we call him ‘The Sheriff’ because if you’re misusing taxpayer money, you’ll have to answer to him.”

How has Sheriff Roscoe P. Biden performed so far?:

Federal prosecutors are investigating a dozen cases of possible fraud involving the $787 billion stimulus package, a USA TODAY review of government records shows.

There are an additional 88 active investigations of potential misuse of that money, according to reports filed by internal watchdogs at 29 federal agencies managing stimulus funds and the congressional Government Accountability Office. Separately, GAO criminal investigators are reviewing nine cases, acting GAO head Gene Dodaro has said.

This would be a bigger problem if accounting wasn’t such an inexact science — and the fact that most of the stimulus money hasn’t even been spent yet means that we’ve only seen the tip of the fraud iceberg.

Who thinks the Sheriff has done a good job? Stand up, Chuck!

A basic tenet of law enforcement is “if the Sheriff is friends with the robbers, it’s probably a bad idea to let him guard the bank,” so the fact that this is going badly — either by incompetence, design, or a little of both — isn’t surprising.

Nice choice for a stimulus sheriff, Mr. President. Did Barney Fife have prior commitments?

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“Need a little help, Joe? You gotta nip it… nip it in the bud!

The ‘Inexact Science’ of Accounting and the Exact Science of Scamming

The next time the IRS audits you and find discrepancies in your reporting, just tell them that “accounting is an inexact science” and see how far that gets you. Somehow it’s an appropriate excuse for a crooked and/or incompetent administration:

President Obama brushed off criticism over his administration’s inaccurate reporting on job creation Wednesday, telling Fox News the accounting is an “inexact science” and that any errors are a “side issue” when compared with the goal of turning the economy around. He said job growth is his No.1 responsibility.

Bob Newhart, the actor/comedian who used to be an accountant, once said the following: “My theory of accounting was that as long as you got within two or three bucks of it, you were all right. But that didn’t catch on.”

No, but getting within several billion of it has caught on. Hey, somebody wake up Sheriff Joe! I think there’s some pilferin’ goin’ on!

Not a surprise though, because the same Gorebot tax cheats who write bogus junk science reports on global warming are the ones in charge of keeping the nation’s books. What could possibly go wrong?

The climate change “data” we’re about to base an entire economy on is probably as accurate as the latest jobs/stimulus data, because a lot of it comes from the same people. They’ll work wonders with the health care budget.

Obama was just in China, so I wonder if he found out what happens to “inexact accountants” in that country.

Update: From an Obama speech to Congress in February:

I have told each member of my Cabinet as well as mayors and governors across the country that they will be held accountable by me and the American people for every dollar they spend.

That seems like an unrealistically specific demand to expect from such an inexact science.

Time Lapse County-by-County Map of U.S. Unemployment, Hope & Change™ Edition

Hey, how is the Hope & Change™ stimulus working out for America? Below is a link to a time lapse, county by county unemployment map encompassing the past almost two years.

Plug your nose and click the pic below to go to the map — or if you’d rather, click here to see a famous object from history act out the map dramatically:

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Update: Who’s up for another “jobs bill”? Sen. Ben Nelson is. Some people think that map isn’t turning dark fast enough. Typical DC-lib thought pattern though: If the first one had a negative effect, doing the same thing again twice as much will certainly turn things around.

Mt. Lushmore: $17 Million in Stimulus Money For a Shrine to… Billy Carter?

You know, nothing is really very surprising anymore:

In the age of the $787-billion stimulus package, it is, perhaps, a modest question:

Should the American taxpayer foot the bill to enshrine the gas station run by the late Billy Carter — the beer-swilling, wisecracking, self-professed redneck brother of our 39th president?
[…]
The legislation calls for the park service to take over the gas station, plus an old farmhouse that Jimmy and wife Rosalynn lived in from 1956 to 1961. Both would be donated by the current owner, the Plains Better Hometown Program.

The park service would also take over a state-run welcome center on the edge of town that has been threatened with closure because of state budget problems.

The Congressional Budget Office estimates that it will cost $17 million to upgrade and maintain the sites over the next five years.

Coincidentally, $17 million was the GNP of the entire U.S. after Jimmy Carter’s presidency.

If the money for Billy Carter is approved, look for Bill Clinton to get in on the action and secure the millions in stimulus dollars to build and maintain a shrine to his brother: a double-wide trailer made entirely out of Roger’s old coke straws.

When you think about what Billy Carter meant to this country, and the $17 million it would cost to maintain that memory, the investment is only about 10 cents for every beer Billy drank during his life, so to that end it’s fiscally responsible. Just think of it as a retroactive return of all the can deposit money Billy would have gotten if there were recycling laws in those days.

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(h/t RightWingNews)

Tubby Kid Stuck in Skateboarding Bowl Dramatizes U.S. Effort to Get Out of ObamaDeficit™

Okay, here’s a little role playing exercise for demonstration purposes.

Pretend the tubby kid stuck in the skateboarding bowl represents the United States, and the walls of the bowl represent the ever-increasing 10-year deficit projections for the Obama administration.

Imagine that every second of every day, the walls on the bowl get higher and steeper, the kid gets fatter and fatter, the number people with the resources to help him out are fewer and fewer, and we have a fairly decent metaphor for what the U.S. is up against.


(h/t DrunkReport)

Unemployment Stimulated Again

Wow, just imagine what the unemployment rate would be if Obama and Congress hadn’t saved the economy:

The U.S. unemployment rate rose to 10.2 per cent in October from 9.8 per cent, as non-farm payroll employment declined by 190,000.

The number of unemployed persons increased by 558,000, to 15.7 million, during the month, the U.S. Bureau of Labour Statistics said Friday.

Obama called the new numbers “sobering,” which just proves how out of touch he is with Main Street, because this kind of news makes people start drinking — not stop.

The Obama administration continues to parrot the line that the trillion-dollar stimulus “saved or created more than 1 million jobs.” If that’s the case, they should pass 15 more stimulus bills and the unemployment rate would be zero, right? Why don’t they do that?

Incidentally, the “surface” cost of the stimulus was said to be $900 billion — which would have been enough to send every unemployed person in America a check for almost $58,000.

I can’t wait until Nancy Pelosi and Company get their cloven hooves on our health care. At least we’ll get free end of life counseling while we’re starving to death in the unemployment line.

Joke of the Day:

“Did you hear this? President Obama has approved a new plan to pay members of the Taliban to switch sides and support the United States. In a related story, 10 million unemployed Americans just joined the Taliban.” –Conan O’Brien

Update:

Big Government has the following chart showing the Obama admin’s projected unemployment rate with the stimulus and without — and the red line is how it’s actually played out. They were just as off-base in budgeting Cash for Clunkers — but I’m sure they’ll get health care right:

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Motor City Sadhouse: Welfare Stampede in Detroit

Free money in Motown yesterday? What could possibly have gone wrong?

Detroiters were trying to pick up 5,000 federal assistance applications from the city at Cobo because Detroit received nearly $15.2 million in federal dollars under the Homeless Prevention and Rapid Re-Housing Program, which is for temporary financial assistance and housing services to individuals and families who are homeless, or who would be homeless without this help.

They called it a “Homeless Prevention and Rapid Re-Housing Program” because “booze and cigarette sales stimulus” was a little too accurate.

The odds are already bad that the truly needy will get anything at all, but then the government ran out of forms, and… well, you can guess what happened next:

By early morning, the applications had run dry. But some hustlers got the bright idea to photocopy the original and sell the copies for $20 a pop. They were doing a brisk business. The desperate are easy prey. The white original applications stated clearly on the bottom: “Do not duplicate — Must Submit Original Application.”

By late morning, however, volunteers from the City of Detroit Planning and Development Department were handing out yellow photocopies themselves.

“I’m not even sure the government will accept those applications,” said Pam Johnson, a volunteer. “But it’s almost like they had to pacify people. There was almost a riot. I mean, they had to call out the gang squad. I saw an elderly woman almost get trampled to death.”

“As soon as we work our way though this huge pile of unpaid Cash for Clunkers claims by car dealers, we’ll work on getting you your check, Gladys… now sit down and wait!”

You know, it’s disturbing but not surprising that those who were dumb enough to fall for the “here’s a copy of the application for $20” trick weren’t at least bright enough to tell the app. peddler to deduct the fee from their assistance check.

And the ridiculous quote of the day:

Dan McNamara, president of the Detroit Firefighters Association Local 344, was looking down from his office window across from Cobo.

This absolutely is representative of the struggling middle class in America,” he said. “We’ve been betrayed by the government, Realtors and those who’ve got. The promise has been broken.”

I’ve gotta disagree, Mr. McNamara. The “struggling middle class” weren’t at Cobo Hall — they are the ones who are paying for the handout and cleanup of the subsequent madness you just witnessed.

But some people have no idea where the money comes from anyway — like it matters:

Here’s a local news report. You’ll notice that quite a few of these poverty stricken Obamaniacs seem to be able to afford cell phones.

“Thank you, Barack Obama!”

Looks like it got pretty crazy. I hope Peggy’s okay!

When everything is free, look for this scene to go national. “Thank you, Barack Obama!”