Here are some upcoming Associated Press headlines:

–Are Republicans manipulating Joe Biden’s mouth to make him say stupid shit?

–Did Bain Capital trick major Obama bundler into working there by telling him they were UNICEF?

–Is construction on Keystone Pipeline delayed because GOP hid the pipe in order to harm Obama re-election bid?

–Could right wing have encouraged market to buy solar panels from China to drive Solyndra to bankruptcy?

–Is John Boehner sneaking into Volt dealerships and putting up “closed” signs to artificially keep sales low?

I’m not sure but I think “attachement parenting” is a fancy way of saying “breast feeding until your kid’s old enough to vote or his mustache tickles your nipple, whichever comes first.”

Mega Independent Post Dispatch has greatly improved that cover — here’s a much more accurate portrayal of the real world:

Or if you prefer The Looking Spoon has a more generic “nanny state raising our kids” version here.

Update: Check out this version.

On his Monday MSNBC program, just a week after condemning former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney to hell based on the Book of Mormon, afternoon host Martin Bashir cited a column from The New York Times’ Timothy Egan to suggest that Romney isn’t fit for the White House because he does not drink.

“A teenage taste of beer aside, Mitt Romney does not consume alcohol, which begs the question — will total abstention put his candidacy, perhaps even this great nation, in jeopardy?” Bashir said. “That’s the conundrum that could be drawn from a column by New York Times writer Timothy Egan, who does not deal in half measures.”

Oh, I don’t know, Martin… I’ll bet Romney knows what “begs the question” means and how to use it properly, even without the alcohol.

An actual example of “begging the question” can be found in Bashir’s assumption that the country isn’t in greater jeopardy already because of Obama. So much for the “a pint of Guinness for a president once in a while will save the Republic” theory.

NASCAR Chairman and CEO Brian France was a guest on MSNBC on Thursday to talk about the sport’s green initiatives in advance of Earth Day.

France was asked several questions about NASCAR’s environmental push by anchor Thomas Roberts, who apparently thinks race cars are actually fighter jets.

“The obvious draw for NASCAR is the speed,” Roberts said to France. “Cars going up to about 500 mph, right?”

And these are the people who are going to spend the next 200 days calling Romney out of touch?

France didn’t respond to the 500 mph claim, but I would have replied, “Yes, Thomas, and by going 500 miles per hour we get the race over a lot faster, thus sparing the environment unnecessary pollution. We’re Al Gore approved!”

Extra credit question for Thomas Roberts: Assuming the cars go 500 miles per hour, why does it take several hours to complete the Daytona 500?

Mediaite sets up the clip:

Bob Beckel didn’t realize when the commercial break ended during tonight’s final segment of Hannity, caught in a heated off-camera argument with fellow panelist Jennifer Stefano. Off-air debates, we thus learned, are granted a much more colorful range of vocabulary than on-air debates, and as the cameras started rolling, the first words on national television were, “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

Following that, Beckel’s liberal instincts almost immediately took over as he then tried to blame somebody else for his fit of Sudden Onset Tourette Syndrome — in this case Sean Hannity. By now Beckel’s probably blaming Bush.

Imagine if you will what kind of outrage we’d be hearing from the libs if this were a conservative male taking such a hostile tone toward a liberal female. It would be the left’s “People’s Exhibit A” proof of the Republican “war on women”: