Billy Mays Dies: One Minute You’re Here, and the Next, Kaboom!

Infomercial pitchman Billy Mays was a staple on the television of anybody who was too lazy to change the channel, and he is dead at age 50.

Mays reportedly hit his head during a rough landing yesterday, and he even Twittered about it last night, though it’s unclear whether or not the event is related to his death.

Mays is survived by his wife and dozens of infomercials, but definitely no stains.

Fellow pitchman Ron Popeil announced that, out of respect for Mays, his Pocket Fisherman would be at half-staff for the next week.

ABC: The All-Barack Channel Earns a New Logo

The overwhelmingly pro-Obama media has always pledged allegiance to The One — especially since finding out that his national health care plan will cover in full any MSM herniated disks caused by genuflecting to the president — but now ABC is taking Obamania to unprecedented levels.

From Drudge:

On the night of June 24, the media and government become one, when ABC turns its programming over to President Obama and White House officials to push government run health care — a move that has ignited an ethical firestorm!

Highlights on the agenda:

ABCNEWS anchor Charlie Gibson will deliver WORLD NEWS from the Blue Room of the White House.

The network plans a primetime special — ‘Prescription for America’ — originating from the East Room, exclude opposing voices on the debate.

Somebody throw a bucket of cold water over ABC — even their logo is getting out of control:

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Update: Hey, maybe this explains ABC’s access… ya think?

‘Fire Letterman’ Rally in NYC Tomorrow

Tomorrow afternoon at the Ed Sullivan Theater there’s gonna be a really big shoeee of Sarah Palin support. It’s the “Fire David Letterman” rally.

Letterman, the newest NOW Hall of Shamer, tapes his show at 5 p.m. at the same place. Will the rally be too tempting for Letterman to ignore? Will they record a “Stupid Conservative Tricks” segment to mock the attendees?

I won’t be tuning in to find out.

HuffPo Tackles the Hard News: Sarah Palin’s Toenail Polish

The pro-feminist left just cannot handle a classy-but-down-home independently minded non-liberal woman without ironically trying to reduce the rhetoric to a level that is usually reserved for a stripper twirling around a pole: HuffPo poll: What’s on Sarah Palin’s Toenails?

Unlike a lot of liberal chicks you see at art fairs, all I know is that the answer to the above question is “not fungus.”

In fairness to the Huffington Post though, they’ve been fairly nonpartisan when it comes to this issue, because I think they asked the same question back when John Edwards was spotted in sandals leaving Pink Sapphire.

Update: The HuffPo can stop end their search, because I’ve managed to find out what brand of polish Sarah uses…

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The Obamasturbatory Media Jerks Away Furiously

It’s no wonder the mainstream media is even being mocked by Jon Stewart now (click here for a video that concludes with a joke about NBC’s Brian Williams going “American Pie” on a lunch sack Obama handed him).

The latest display of Obama-induced MSM hormonal fireworks — that makes the orgasmic girls who screamed at the Beatles’ arrival at JFK Airport look like Tibetan monks — comes from Newsweek’s Evan Thomas, who told fellow Obamaniac and flogger of the dolphin of Hope, Chris Matthews, that Obama is “sort of god.”

If you want to make a fortune, set up a stand in front of MSNBC headquarters and sell Special Obama Commemorative Edition Jergens Lotion to these people:

Playboy Gets Classy: ‘Top 10 Conservative Women We’d Like to Hate F*#k’

Also known in classier circles as “grudge f*#k,” Playboy is now doing a feature about conservative women in a way that would have the angry hags from the NOW picketing outside their bunny-clad doors if they did anything remotely similar about liberal women — though I don’t know whey they’d be so ticked-off — it’s not like they’d be on the list.

Ed Morrissey sums up what Playboy’s up to now:

Playboy likes to claim that it prints pictures of naked women as a means to empower them. Uh-huh. It seems that Playboy and Hugh Hefner only like to empower women to the extent that they’ll take off their clothes, but when they open their mouths and have an opinion … well, then it’s time to roll out the demonization. They have a new feature on the website that features — and I’m not making this up — conservative women they’d like to “hate-f**k” (link NSFW)

Here’s the list. (Update: Playboy has pulled the above feature from their website, but Gateway Pundit has a cache of what the main page looked like here.)

From Michelle Malkin to Megyn Kelly to Elisabeth Hasselbeck to Michele Bachmann, come and see liberal tolerance and the promotion of female empowerment at its finest — but only for the articles, of course.

Figuring that one good spurn deserves another (after all, what liberal doesn’t like “fairness”?), I thought I’d return the favor.

So, without further adieu, here are the “Top Ten Liberal Women I’d Like to Hate F*#k”:

There’s… uh… one of them would be… um…

Well, there’s Aman… no wait, she’s not liberal.

Ooh, there was that one chick with the reddish hair who was on CNN in the mid-80’s… but I can’t remember her name and I’m not sure she was liberal.

Ummmm….

So… gee, you’ll have to give me a few minutes on this… it’s like trying to make Viagra out of saltpeter.

Thanks to Playboy for reminding me about this classic:

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If Entertainers Willingly Do It For Ratings Stunts, Is It Torture?

Christopher Hitchens was waterboarded last year and concluded that the interrogation procedure is torture (possibly because the water didn’t have any Scotch in it — the horror).

Not long ago, Sean Hannity offered to be waterboarded for charity. This prompted some on the left — who say that waterboarding should never, ever be used on any human being whatsoever because it goes against every principle we as Americans hold dear — to gladly step up and offer to waterboard Sean Hannity. Keith Olbermann offered $1,000 for every second Hannity was waterboarded. I offered $2,000 for every second Hannity could stand to listen to Keith Olbermann. Both offers remain in limbo.

Then, just this week, radio host “Mancow” Muller was waterboarded and he concluded it was torture. Muller claims he went into it with the intention of saying it wasn’t torture, but changed his mind two seconds into waterfall that kept him from running his mouth for a record six seconds — one man’s torture is music to another’s ears.

The question as it pertains to willingly subjecting one’s self to waterboarding isn’t “is it torture?” It’s, “is demanding that you shouldn’t consider its use unless you could undergo it yourself and claim it isn’t torture a good idea?” This is like saying that I shouldn’t be for life sentences for convicted murderers unless I’m willing to prove it ain’t so bad by willingly spending the rest of my life in prison.

If making something illegal just because I might consider it torture is the issue, then “Fear Factor” would have been cancelled halfway through the very first episode and Yoko Ono’s larynx would be rotting in a jail cell.

The relevant question as it pertains to waterboarding is “did it prevent attacks on people who loathe the idea of waterboarding terror suspects?” The answer, according to the CIA, is “yes.” This now makes us ask the question: Is “irony-boarding” torture?

If any pollsters want to make liberal heads asplode, then go to Los Angeles and ask the following question: “Would you rather die in a terrorist attack, or have your life, and most importatly, film career, saved because of waterboarding?”

Below is “Mancow” Muller doing something that, if there was beer instead of water in that pitcher, happens every weekend at frat parties:

Update: I cross-posted this at HotAir, and one of the comments there is interesting and sums up the joke that these waterboard wannabes are:

It’s a wonder he wasn’t injured…

The “procedure” demonstrated is not the waterboarding procedure used on the three AQ subjects, and is not in the least as it is done in SERE training.

This is what has really screwed up the entire “debate” on waterboarding.

Yes, Mancow thought he was drowning…pouring water directly into the mouth and nose of a subject is not how waterboarding is done…the method shown is an attempt to drown a subject.

Amateurs. And dumb, too.

William F. Buckley and Obama Reconsidered

nullChristopher Buckley writes that his father, William F. Buckley Jr., who died in February of 2008, may have voted for Barack Obama had he lived long enough to vote in the election.

Some are calling ridiculous the notion that William F. Buckley would have thought about voting for Obama, but some serious considerations are in order before mocking the idea. For example, given ACORN’s proclivities, we can’t discount the possibility that William F. Buckley did vote for Obama.